Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 9519. page

>realize the world wants you to contibute meaningfully to society instead of leeching off it
>gets angry like a spoiled child

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>>35006598
so what was the point of civilization then?

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>you will live to see the rise of the NEET Sultanate and the enslavement of the wageslaves into actual slavery.

>>35006143
>they banned drugs 100 years ago
>they started locking people in prison more and more
Thus chosing to have a sturdy and efficient hell, rather than a weak inefficient heaven. It's an evolution thing, survivial of the fittest.

broken homes, light to mild aspergers, natural introversion and anxiety, childhood bullying, internet addiction

that's what's wrong with us

>>35006399
but those issues cant unique to our times, right?
im sure history has had its fair share of these issues

then how come it is only recently that this robot phenomenon has become so prevalent?

>>35006117
If you like man stank, then maybe.

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>>35006117
>have a big cock
>waste it by deciding to become a mentally fucked up abomination
Why does this make me so pissed?

>>35006151
this.
proof that men with big cocks are low test.

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>>35005988
it's time to end this streak, OP. say it.

Instead of calling it night time, I say "shadow-of-earth time" because that's what it really is.

Also, instead of laughing or saying "that's funny" I say "that gave me a dopamine boost".

I feel like it makes me sound smarter, and, by extension a more trustworthy person.

>>35005988
same.
I always use "exactly" and "I don't think so"

I weigh 281kg as of today, btw.

>>35005751
I wish I could eat that much and actually gain weight, i eat as much as i can and still go hungry/gain no weight

>>35005751
Richfags and their Chad bulk.
t. Skelly

>>35005747
>polaroids hangin on the wall
>christmas lights or any other kind of decorative lights for exteriors placed indoors
>beanie also indoors

basic fucking bitch, stopped listening about 0:50 in

she's extremely obnoxious, ugly and stupid, that's why she can't keep a boyfriend, not hard to figure out.

the writing is usually right on the wall with these women, it's just that no one wants to believe it at first because they fake it so well.

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That's like the definitive basic bitch.

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>>35005637
me too. it is not wrong if she doesnt say no.

Have you ever touched a woman sexually without consent? What's that like?

>>35005637
Yeah it kind of feels like hitting a dog
I didnt really like it

>>35005611
because you would as well if you could experience the kind of endorphin highs necessary to make women reproduce. Repeatedly with a fraction of the cooldown period we need

nice little tiddies there mmmmm

>>35005686
Quality porn website tier comment chief

What is this shit
What part of "just b urself" didn't you understand?

Fucking anything. Hiking, lifting, reading, knitting, pottery, painting, drawing, photography, cooking, brewing, writing, sports. Possibilities are endless.

>>35005595
Just anything besides your real interest haha

feels good bein a normie heh heh... i can take kool instagram photos and go hiking... such varied and unique interests wow that anon whatta guy!

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>>35005557
My imageboard addiction is the only thing in life I enjoy anymore

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No, there are a lot more real reasons.

yes I use it as a replacement for socialization the same way porn replaces sex

but I have to ask if I would have had a social life anyway if 4chan didn't exist

>you, sir, win the internet

>something unfunny happens
>"I'M DEAD XD"

>this
>totally this
>this omg

>>35005523
this
blooxxxx

>>35005377
Date a blind girl and tell her you are 6'4".

Actually if you are Chad height doesn't matter.

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>>35005599
Then explain this

originally

>>35005319
time to start looking

>>35005440
but quitting my very first job without completing the contract will be like a resume suicide.

>>35005319
Fuck that job, they're trying to scare you into working more for less. Quit it and look elsewhere, for minimum wage there are many more options that have a less volatile work environment.

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CHAPTER 2 - ROBOT DATES
>Turns out I actually like Trish (As I would like any female who gave me attention and pie)
>Afraid to admit because Gus will make fun of me
>Assume fake cool instance and tell him I'll call her out because "Pussy is pussy, right? <nervous fake laught>"
>Gus probably knows I'm the biggest loser, so he gives me unasked advice
Hey "Gus", if you ever read this and identify yourself... thank you.
>Got all my courage and texted Trish to ask her out, to the movies
>Fucking trembling, sweating from places I didn't even know I could
>Trish texted back "Sure, what film?"
>At this moment, it felt like reality wasn't actually real, like I just wished that so much I daydreamt about that answer.
>I mean... my first date, what the actual fuck. It's now or never.
>Choose some superhero movie, Marvel, X-men or something
>Get the giant butter popcorn, she didn't get nothing
>During movie got to hold her hand, heart pounding so fast she might very well be feeling my pulse
>Then tried to stroke her hair a little bit, she actually let me
>Only much later I would notice my hand was all greasy of butter and she didn't care
>Talking to her was a delight. At some point, actual words began leaving my mouth, and we had an actual conversation
>At the end, I didn't walk her home (didn't have much practice at this date thing)
>We stopped at the corner where our paths should split, talked a little bit, said goodbye and I went for a kiss
>She turned the cheek
>AWKWARD
>Me "Errr... I was actually hoping to kiss your lips"
>Trish "Oh, really? Me too"
>Yes, this actually happened exactly like this. My first kiss was awkward and not very good at all, but man, I was dancing in clouds my way home

CHAPTER 3 - GET OUT OF MY BOARD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Next weeks are the most exciting thing in my life. We still share some classes, so we see each other a lot
>We talk a lot, spend time together
>We would both pretend to pay attention to the classes, but every now and then I caught her looking at me
>She would sometimes bake me pie, cake and all kinds of homemade sweetness
>Barb told me to get a hold of her soon, because she had "a free spirit", I should oficially make her my gf
>Like social media, get her a ring and all that
>Of course Gus is against it, where did that "pussy" talk go?
>*Fuck it, she's now my 3d waifu, I'm going in*
>Double date. Me, Trish, Gus and Barb. I have a ring and everyone (possibly Trish too) knows it
>Dinner, too nervous to touch the food.
>Me "Hey Trish, may I ask you something?"
>Get on fucking knee, cringe all you want
>Me "Would you be my girlfriend?"
>She of course says yes, and Barb was filming it. The clip is still online as of today
And I still have the ring.
>Next few of months are beautiful. We would see each other every day, spend evenings doing calculus homework and eat lots of cake
>Spend our time discussing how elegant electric engines are and how I love her chocolate-flavored shampoo
>We go to parties, she has fun with her girlfriends while I sit at the corner just watching her beautiful (but not really) body
>We do have sex. I'm no expert, but I think she was a virgin, and so she says
>Somehow lose weight, meet her family. Her dad is a kinda scary criminal lawyer hated all around the city
>I'm first guy she ever presents to her family. Father is overprotective and hates men
>Guess he smelled my betaness and saw no threat in me, because he likes me
>I'm now his official "computer guy" free of charge, of course, but I don't mind
>As long as I have Trish, I'm alright
But of course I wouldn't have her for long

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CHAPTER 4 - YOU ARE HERE FOREVER
Mandatory soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cs-XZ_dN4Hc

>About a year later. Lots of stories, as we spend a lot of time together
>She fights me over the stupidest things, don't really understand
>One night, she breaks up with me over the telephone
>That's it. She calls me and we're over
>Me "Come on, Trish, you obviously have no idea what you are doing, let's talk in person tomorrow"
>To no avail, we are still over.
>Fuck, this hurts a lot
>Exact 19 days later, she is hanging around with some chad guy, let's call him... Chad
>Fuck, this hurts a whole lot more. Like, tons.
>Me "Trish, I don't think it's appropriate for you to have another relationship so soon after all we passed together"
>Trish "I understand how you are feeling, but I'm with Chad now and I'm happy, you have to be mature and accept this"
>And so I did. Seeing that hurt me too much, so I cut all contact with her
>Very troughout about it. Deleted all my social stuff, blocked her number on my phone and also cut anyone who talks to me about her
>Luckily, we aren't taking any classes together this term.
>Start hitting the gym, just to pass the time

>Pass few months, summer vacation
>Barb "Hey Anon, I'm spending a few days in your hometown, Val will show me the town. Wanna come with us?"
>Me "Don't know, Trish might show up and I wouldn't want that"
>Barb "Come on, are you going to spend the rest of your life not going wherever she may show up?"
>*Yes, I will!*
>Me "No, I won't... ok."
>Of course she showed up and wanted really bad to talk to me.
>Not interested in seeing her face at all, still hurts bad
>To avoid "being childish", let her talk to me
>She tells me everything that happened with her in past months, says she misses talking to me
>Me "Obviously not missing enough"
>She's still with Chad, but her father hates him, prohibited the relationship to continue
>She thinks there's a guy her dad paid to keep an eye on her
>Me "Tough luck, huh"

What is your motive in creating this thread OP?

>>35005260
Make like a bee and fuck off

>>35005247
I want to make you my queen bee, to mate with you until you give birth to approximately 2000 of my offspring a day.