Anonymous
Riskiest Faps you've had 2017-02-21 02:38:38 Post No.35020453
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Riskiest Faps you've had 2017-02-21 02:38:38 Post No.35020453
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>be 14
>home alone
>decide to have amazing slow wank
>half an hour in, car pulls in
>think to myself "i can cum before he gets here" because pausing is not an option
>this sharp change of pace confuses my dick
>can't cum for the life of me
>just as dad walks up stairs, i blow the biggest load i had ever blown
>fuck fuck fuck he's coming towards my room
>door isn't locked
>shove dick into underoos while im cumming a gallon
>dad comes in, tells me about a funny run-in at walmart
>he says "smells weird in here"
>he picks up my body spray and sprays it
>stands there for a minute
>"a-are you gonna g-go now, dad?" i say as there is large amounts of cum shooting out of my dick into my undies
>"oh yeah, be ready for dinner" he says as he leaves
>he fucking knew
>tl;dr i tried to cum before parents got home, but i ended up having to have a conversation with my dad during a climax
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>be 30
>mom is in the next room
>doors open
>masturbate to sissy hypnosis porn
>cum on my stomach
>quietly go into bathroom
>clean up and stay for ten minutes to make it seem like I'm taking a dump
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>>35020453
>22
>practically suicidal
>necrophile
>driving for hours, go out of state at some point
>I don't even know where in the country I am
>it's snowing, I pull to the side of the road
>there's a church and a cemetery right fucking there
>I am possessed
>walk behind the largest statue I can find and hold the closest headstone
>grind against it like my life depends on it
>unzip my pants and masturbate right then and there
>run back to my car, nobody has seen me yet
>masturbate again
>the cold only makes it better
>finally a car drives by just as I'm cumming
>break down completely, can't compose myself
>make the several hour long car drive back home and have to go back to work in the morning
I have a hell of a lot more
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>>35020453
>Still living with parents
>Stoned before dinner
>Having a nice wank
>Very close to dinnertime so decide to cum
>While cumming mum shouts "anon, dinners ready"
>Have to reply or she gets weird/anxious
>Shout "I'm coming" to mum...while cumming, literally shooting ropes of spunk while talking to parent.
Anonymous
What is a race you are never attracted to? 2017-02-21 02:33:07 Post No.35020310
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What is a race you are never attracted to? 2017-02-21 02:33:07 Post No.35020310
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What is a race you are never attracted to?
Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:33:07
Post No. 35020310
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For me, it's white females. I can acknowledge their beauty but I'm not attracted to it.
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>>35020310
As a white guy, I will say the physical features of white chicks is my preference.
But I do prefer women to have light brown skin
Castizo women are literally perfect
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I can't think of a race whose women I haven't fapped to at least a few times.
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autist + poor + indian + 5"6 = kill yourself tier
It doesn't matter what I am attracted to. I do not exist to women. May as well not be attracted to them at all.
It's that time again lads. Get a bingo and you have to leave /r9k/ for as many weeks as your last digit.
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>>35020141
>not fat is the same as in good shape
HAH
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Whale would you look at that
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Vacation
House party
Birthday party
And parents proud I think
Am I a normie now?
Anonymous
Non-wristlets can't be robots! 2017-02-21 02:20:04 Post No.35020046
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Non-wristlets can't be robots! 2017-02-21 02:20:04 Post No.35020046
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Non-wristlets can't be robots!
Anonymous
2017-02-21 02:20:04
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Are us wristlets doomed from the start? How can I cure this awful curse?
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>>35020046
Working out pretty much.
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>>35020046
I got a motorcycle like a year ago and I'm starting to notice that my forearms, especially the right one, have been getting bigger. I don't know what to do about my wrists either, though I also don't really care. Maybe curls would help?
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Am I a wristlet?
Cute wrists btw OP.
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>tfw you're a 8.5/10 and still a KHV
What am I doing wrong?
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>>35019807
You're not even a 6.
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>>35019845
He is like exactly a 6
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>>35019807
your main problem is that your face is ugly
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Are any robots vegan? I intend to go vegan soon for health reasons soon.
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>soon for health reasons soon.
You're clearly retarded, which explains your choice.
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I'm so fucking sick of these images.
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Yah I'm vegan for ethical reasons. The health benefits are just an added bonus.
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How do I get a mexican qt?
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>>35019296
Go to Mexico my African American friend
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>>35019296
Tell her you don't like walls
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They only want Chavez.
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>haiku due next week
>havent even started it
>still browsing 4chan
Fuck brehs how do I even function?
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>haiku
? Just google some short one you fuccboi or use a haiku generator to make a shitty one about some subject. Are you in grade school or something?
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>>35018964
haiku's are really easy. I can do it for you what does it need to be about
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>>35018976
I hope that's meta bait, because the joke was really obvious
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>tfw can't control myself and this urge of being a bimbo.
How do I stop this lads?
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>>35018847
There is no way
>>
why would you want to stop?
o
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You shouldn't stop. Become the bimboiest bimbo ever
>parents are gone
> think sister is too
> decide to have a nice comfy wank to Maria Ryabushkina
>pants down, Dick out
> screen doesn't have any porn on it yet
> her janky ass door handle fling open
> hide Dick
> freeze up for a moment
> "so anon did you like the food dad ma-
> GET OUT PLEASE RIGHT NOW
> she freezes and doesn't understand what's happening
> LEAVE NOW OUT OUT OUT
> leaves
She's 15, I'm 19
So what now? I'm downstairs in the bathroom hiding and not a word was spoken between me and her after the happening. Do I act like it never happened?
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>>35018581
Ask for forgivness and beg her not to tell her friends
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>>35018581
Apologize for yelling at her and ask her to knock in the future.
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>>35018581
just say "it was just a prank sis, GOTCHA" and laugh in her face
Anonymous
Simpsons reaction images dump thread 2017-02-21 01:07:15 Post No.35018566
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Simpsons reaction images dump thread 2017-02-21 01:07:15 Post No.35018566
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Simpsons reaction images dump thread
Anonymous
2017-02-21 01:07:15
Post No. 35018566
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Post your best images
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uhniuvuigop
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>>35018650
uobniounonui
>>
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>>35018671
,mompinoobu
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JOIN NOW, ANON!
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>get berated by idiots for not eating robotically.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJuxukDfrA4
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>>35018680
>all those skinny betas
Maybe the military is for me...
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>>35019496
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CiZ9OGruLM
Anonymous
Wagecuckery vs. NEETdom 2017-02-21 01:06:19 Post No.35018549
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Wagecuckery vs. NEETdom 2017-02-21 01:06:19 Post No.35018549
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Which do you guys prefer?
As someone who was a NEET for 4 years and wagecuck for 3 years, I feel they both have their pros and cons.
For wagecucking, you at least feel like you're slightly contributing to society and not a COMPLETE failure. You also have more spending money for drugs, alcohol, hookers, junk food, vidya, etc. etc. Also, some women will be fine with wagecuckery, especially if they are one themselves. On the downside, you have to get bossed around by greedy assholes, deal with annoying coworkers, forced to stay on a consistent schedule, get far fewer time for yourself, a lack of sleep, etc.
As a NEET, you're free to play all the vidya, watch all the anime, and engage in most debauchery with few if any consequences. You're almost never tired, have few if any obligations, and get a pure sense of peace. For NEETdom you get all the freedom and rest you desire, but it comes at a price. You feel like a worthless leech on your parents/society, the days start to run together, time passes quicker, and you're more prone to existential crises and suicidal impulses when you're not as distracted by wagecuckery. Also, a woman figuring out you're a NEET is a death sentence.
I slightly prefer wagecuckery but both are horrible desu. tfw you weren't born in a rich family and got a high income job through connections.
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>>35018549
NEET life here. Free to learn and do anything I want, which is the ultimate form of freedom.
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>>35018549
NEET I have no desire to contribute to society it's complete shit, I miss being a neet
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>>35018549
How about neither, you faggot?
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We're looking for more autists to come talk about traps, JoJo, genocide, lifting et cetera so come join in the fun!
https://discord.gg/4CFswyf
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We don't have higgus here so don't worry about him!
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>>35018476
who is this cute little lesbian and how tight is his boipucci?
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>>35018985
>lesbian
>his
>boipucci
come the fuck on, man
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"Tick Tock"
Well well well, seems the day is almost over wagies. You can hear your freedom ticking away.
Better go to bed early so you're in good shape for work tomorrow. You dont want Mr Goldschtein to give you another scolding right?
"GGGGGSSSSTTSSSCH"
THATS THE SOUND OF ME SPITTING IN YOUR FACE, BITCH.
Neet life, best life.
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>>35018450
jokes on you. i quit my job because i can support myself through my music career. i'm my own boss.
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>>35018568
=basically the NEET life without the delicious neetbux
As a NEET I am free to pursue any intellectual or enjoyable endeavour i might want.
Good idea, i might do some music gigs on the side in my local pub. Not for the money but to pick up some hot chicks.
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>>35018832
If you do anon id advise you to not tell anyone that you're a neet. They would hate you cause they'd knwo you're just leeching off the govt. but ultimately because of jealousy.