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ITT:
The most autistic alpha move you made.
Old thread:
34905987
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>>35050255
>buying clothes at department store
>qt grill sees my vintage pink floyd animals tee
>says "that's a nice ass shirt"
>I say back "uh, theyre called pants, not an ass-shirt."
>mfw I realize I'm actually retarded
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>>35050315
To be fair, ass is not an adjective
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>>35050315
autism thread repost
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>Hey little brother, can I sleep in your bed tonight?
Your response?
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>>35050247
Only if I get to fuck you right in the pussy
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>>35050247
>Hey little brother, can I sleep in your bed tonight?
No, get back to your own bed.
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>>35050247
>Have you a feminine penis?
>yfw you realize having a gf/wife is essentially the same as having a pet that can talk
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Pets won't cheat on you, take your house, and make you pay alimony.
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>>35050165
the fuck. NO it's only a complenent It's not neccesary to get a gf lmao
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>>35050165
you wish OP, lol
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I continue to believe Mr. Trump will not be president!
Uhh uhh ahh ahh if if if ooga booga if if if
Okie doke
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*orders pizza for himself and friends*
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if if ifif ififi fi if if if
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*signs 5 trillion dollar bailout plan for all his friends*
*takes a cut*
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"Gee, Anon, I'd love to go watch Lego Batman with you, but it would be kind of weird if it's just us two. Wouldn't your girlfriend get mad or something?"
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>>35050100
nah she's coming with btw she thinks you're cute, wanna come over after the movie and hang out with us?
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>>35050100
Why do you faggots feel the need to post traps 24/7
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Is lego batman good?
Do most women fantasize about sex with 2 men?
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>>35050071
A non meme answer is, yes.
I've talked to female friendseven an ex girlfriendand they said two guys at once was a hot idea.
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>>35050071
Yes. Spitroasting is hot.
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>>35050135
fucking normie reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee gett off gett off mother fucker reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sage
I HATE FUCKING NONVIRGINS AND NOMRIES LEAVE MY BOARD REEEEEEEEEEEE ROASTIES DIE
why cant wi b fwends
why cant wi b fwends
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>>35050046
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zeorpt07nBk
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>>35050046
fuck you and your gay ass little meme thread
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>>35050129
you better leave him alone!
Anonymous
Mistress T is now doing stand-up in Vancouver and Tacoma 2017-02-22 03:16:16 Post No.35050011
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Mistress T is now doing stand-up in Vancouver and Tacoma 2017-02-22 03:16:16 Post No.35050011
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Mistress T is now doing stand-up in Vancouver and Tacoma
Anonymous
2017-02-22 03:16:16
Post No. 35050011
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I'm still scouring the surface web for any recordings but it doesn't look like any exist.
Did any Canadian robots see her? I'd be nervous she'd single me out in the audience and tell everyone how I eat my own cum.
Do you think she uses props?
>https://blog.mistresst.net/my-personal-life/swapping_humiliation_for_comedy/
>https://blog.mistresst.net/my-personal-life/yuk_it_up_in_vancouver/
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>>35050011
>page not found
you son of a bitch
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i hate myself so much for knowing who that is
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihtKRtZUbmQ
I saw her do a pretty funny set with Ceara Lynch at last year's FetCon. They have a good rapport for roasties.
I wish theyd do a comfy podcast.
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Here is the template bots-
what did he sign?
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Death to big dicks
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America is Great Again.
t. The Don
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>>35049901
"Common knowledge is now fake news, my reality is now alternative facts."
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What are your most frequented sites /r9k/?
Can include p0rn tube sites if you wish
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>>35049814
Tumblr
9gag
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>>35049814
this place, youtube, exhentai, wikipedia, nhl.com
according to my browser
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4chan
wizchan
reddit - a few niche subreddits (mainly porn)
Youtube
brazzers
IMDB
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I failed my very first driving test.
I was supposed to bypass a parking car but the other lane was occupied so instead of stopping completely i just kinda shut down and rolled forward and the teacher had to break thus i failed the test.
Others tell me its okay to fail the first test, no biggie, but i feel like i made a huge irreversible mistake in my life, brought shame to my familyname and I'm a big failure of mankind.
and the retry costs big bucks. (im a yurofag)
Do you all have you license yet? Or even your own car?
Or you just sit on your asses all day NEETing and not dreaming about driving comfy in your own car listening to synthwave on a cold night driving trough the town alone?
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You wont go anywhere in life with that mindset.
i failed my first and passed the 2nd, and that's like 6 years ago.
you failed once, big deal.
anyway here's a wallpaper to cheer you up. or something
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I failed the first time and passed the second time. It's really not a big deal, you're still learning and just need to get more comfortable driving for next time. You'll probably pass the next time, don't even get down on yourself for something like this
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>>35049782
How old are you son?
I was 16 when I failed my first test. The teacher actually said I failed "miserably" and stopped the test early because "there's no way you would have passed"
She got fired, I think. I hope, at least.
I also failed my second test, at 19. 3rd test (also at 19) I passed, and I been night driving ever since.
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>tfw fell for the gentle giant memay in higschool
>now just realizing all the pussy I missed out on not being alpha male chimpout simian chad fucking up the weak and infirm
It's not fair. To all the underaged browsing today just go fuck up some 5'5" genetic waste and I bet you'll get a gf the next day. Women love that shit. The only time my oneitis offered to hang out with me was when I won a fight. They are sad fucking disgusting bitches who get fucking lubed up watching bloodsports. This is not factitious. Go get in a fight and women will see you as breeding material, Women don't use their frontal lobe just the simian brain.
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I`m far too honorable and respecting of other people to do this kind of degenerate,worthless shitmtbqh famalam.
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>>35049734
>Betraying your fellow man for the sake of a wet hole
You disgust me.
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>>35049734
Don't worry, you're not alone with falling for that. I was never in any fights, but no one ever really bothered me or picked on me either, and like >>35049746 I wasn't going to go around being a bully just for female attention. It's not fair on those who can't yet defend themselves and is an entirely selfish and not-really-worth-it reason too.
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Do 30+ year old fembots exist?
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They do but they are "fembots" worn out roasties that realised they can't get a permanent relationship.
But a pure 30+ fembot is rarer than a unicorn
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>>35049715
>Do 30+ year old fembots exist?
You mean witches? Sure.
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How do I go about marrying one? A fat and ugly one if possible.
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>gosh why did you take so long to come pick me up... hurry up! Load my bags already, I don't want my friends to see me pulling away in your ugly Ford Focus
>what do you mean with "how much did you spend"?? I have necessities you know. I could easily take a position in my dad's company, but you want me to stay home as housewife... don't you forget also that the apartment is mine, you owe me.
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>tfw have a rich gf but she's actually nice to me
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>tfw have a rich girlfriend who buys me things and doesn't make me feel like a bitch for making less than her
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>>35049825
inb4 reeeee nomieee
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up on meIancholy there's a plastic tree
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>>35049698
Are you here with me?
Are you here with...me?
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AAANNND A FAAKE CHIIINESE RUBBER PLAANT
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>>35049829
Haven't laughed that hard in a good long while