I found the perfect weight loss food plan. 1 meal a day, its 1 cup uncooked rice and then you cook the rice. 640 calories. a can of beans 360 calories. exactly 1000 calories and it keeps you full all day. a pound is 3500 calories so you do the math you will lose a pound every 3.5 days on this diet.
>A pound is 3500 calories
Nigger the fuck are you on about? If you eat 1000 calories a day you will lose weight, but your logic on why is all fucked up.
I just have depression and only eat toast
Works pretty well
>>35264469
Dude... you need to take a multi vitimin or something. Vegetables are pretty important.
>tfw just quit my retailcuck job during my shift
back home and haven't told mom yet
gonna drink and fap and play some vidya
the NEET days are back again!
>>35264288
WELCOME BACK
PRESS S TO SUCK THIS ROBOTS DICK
>>35264288
Same me too holmes, aint it great
>>35264314
>SLAMS S KEY
>>35264288
NEET Party robots! Bring out your finest wine and autism!
>tfw you thought dopefish was a robot but he turns out to just be another normie with a gf whom he calls 'babe'
This hurt, I truly thought he was one of us.
>>35264285
she is really gross.
>>35264317
I thought he would be grosser though.
>nosering
>choker
>fat
What a prize. She'll still cheat
>playing furshit porn flash games on newgrounds for the lulz
>all the sudden my door slams open
>its my roomate, he stares for a sec and leaves in silence
mfw
i dont know if he really noticed or not
i dont care either, its not like i had my dick out, fapping.
>>35264270
That's happened to me three times.
>at grandparents house
>laying in the floor fapping with the shower on because I didn't like to stand up and do it
>nearly deaf grandpa doesn't hear the shower running, and doesn't feel like knocking
>he opens the door halfway, then slams it
>he mumbles out "sorry, didn't know someone was in there"
>I still finished because why not
>thankfully he never brought it up
>fapping at my computer in my bedroom
>didn't lock the door because I'm lazy
>just as it's getting good, my brother and sister bust open my door for a surprise visit
>I was lightning quick in hiding my dick, and managed to hold a normal conversation
>still not sure if they noticed or not
>they didn't seem to
>fapping at computer again
>still don't lock my door, because I'm dumb and no one was there
>I start cumming into my hand
>at that exact second my mom busts open my door and asks me if I want to go out to eat
>have to have a normal conversation while having an orgasm
>wipe my hand on my pants
>they're ruined
>I think she smelt it, because she told me to come down when I'm ready, and left in a hurry
>thankfully, never brought it up though
People need to fucking knock. Whenever I ask them to knock, they just do a quick double knock and open the door. Then when I try to tell them to wait until I come in, they just laugh. It's like they want to catch me.
>>35264575
that's some bad luck mate.
i have another which is hella lot creepy
>around 12-14 years old
>watching some tv show in my room while fondling my weewee in my hand
>sitting on my bed, bed is by the door
>look at the door behind me, its open, my father is standing at the doorway.
>hes just staring, not making a sound
>i have no idea how long hes been there
>he leaves without saying anything.
>never mentions it
wtf?
when will they ever learn to knock?
i dont even know what to think of my father but i sure hope he burns in hell or equivalent.
>fapping on my computer
>mom says she needs to check something
>say okay
>delete tabs
>she gets on the computer
>FUCKING KIM POSSIBLE SPREADING HER PUSSY
>OH FUCK
>she checks her thing and walks past me not saying anything
Did you ever have a black friend before? What was he like?
that pepe looks like a turd LMAO
I wouldn't say friend but I used to work with a black dude and he was pretty cool. Took me to KFC once for lunch then while in the queue he said "I bet you've never went to KFC with a real nigger before"
Don't know what ever happened to him
>>35264263
One time, at a middle school track meet, a black girl from the inner city school we were racing told me "Get out of the way, cracker!"
Mid-30s, beautiful wife and kids, great job, own home, good life.
How do I undo it all and become a NEET?
>>35264236
>mid thirties
>on a Aegean seafloor vacuuming discussion forum
wew
Sell family, fuck house, eat job
>>35264236
you could just wageslave for 20 more years until you can retire and become a shameless NEET
But I don't want to give myself needles so I'm not going to do the doctor
What can go wrong?
>>35264228
You can die, I guess. It's just insulin.
There's some evidence that dietary change can improve it
Go search googlescholar
>>35264266
Is it relatively painless?
Who here /cantdoanythingright/?
I am a complete boob and humiliate myself constantly
>Mother asks me to takes the trash out to the dumpster
>We share an apartment so the dumpster is shared with everyone else
>on the way out remember I have some moudly potatoes in my room and a pizza box
>throw them in the bag
>as I walk down the stairs and outside, the pizza box splits the bag open
>the mouldy potatoes spill out and start rolling around the car parking area
>drop the trash bag and start chasing the potato around picking them up
>one of the people from the other building comes out and walks towards the car I am picking a potato up from
>see him
>laugh
>''HAHA just POTATOING' your exhaust pipe!'
>he says 'you better fucking not be'
>I run away, he grabs a potato and throws it at my head
>run back into the building and to the apartment
>bag and potatoes still spilled everywhere
>literally shaking with nerves praying the wind blows it all away or someone picks it up before mom notices and yells at me
It was a simple task and I failed it. I do this shit all the ucking time to. Last time I tried to use the washing machine the clothes came out soaking wet and I tried to dry them by soaking them in a pot of boiling pasta water (I thought pasta made water boil faster) and they got starchy and I had to throw them out.
>>35264224
>''HAHA just POTATOING' your exhaust pipe!'
lol
Your like is like a living meme. Haha
>>35264330
its not funny, leave me aone
So I finally went to target and got a bunch of panties and a pair of girls pajamas. They're all really cute, but they're also all just a little to big for me. Do some girls wear clothes that are too big or did I mess up? I'm a boy
>>35264221
Post pics so we can judge
'Riginal
>>35264221
Hi, human with vagina here. Nah, baggy clothes are nice, especially pajamas. Do you mind if I ask a question? Do you want to be a girl or just be free to feel "feminine"? Either way, I hope you enjoy your cute new clothes. :)
>>35264396
thank you! for me it's a little of both, but I feel more comfy with feminine things over masculine things
>'what are your hobbies, anon?'
What do I say to this if I have no hobbies besides vidya and shitposting?
You could put it differently so you don't have to lie
For example instead of shitposting you could say you are a creative writer of satirical stories
As for vidya, I am not sure how to make that sound good
>>35264215
I like reading and watercolour painting. I started playing tennis last summer too.
I just tell people who ask that I'm into bug hunting and speed strawberry picking. They laugh it off and we continue joking around. They don't actually give a shit about my hobbies just like how I don't care about theirs.
Think about it. What kind of stupid question is "What are your hobbies" anyways? It's such a loaded question. I am not statically a fucking interest machine, fuelled to keep your attention. Eat my shit, normie.
I save all the threads I successfully gaypost with other anons, am I autistic?
Maybe, but that's cute anyway
>>35264196
>am I autistic?
no you are cute ^_^
>>35264203
>>35264227
Seriously? Thank you anons.
what's a healthy pizza to order?
>>35264106
>healthy pizza
I don't think such a thing is even possible
I suggest to start cooking your own food, it might grow on you and you can make it healthier maybe even better tasting
No matter how healthy you try to make your order, it's going to be predominantly simple carbohydrates in the crust and a good bit of fat in the cheese, unless you pile vegetables the fuck on it's not going to be good for you
>>35264157
>le fat is bad meme
lol xD
>tfw God just hates you
>>35264053
Only because you're an abomination of a psuedo mechanical organism who is an affront to religion.
HA! Jokes on you, ya stupid theist! God doesn't exist, so he CAN'T hate me!
I miss physical intimacy
how fucked am i? i didn't know i could develop autism in my 20's, i thought i was safe because i was never diagnosed as a kid. sure, my mom always told me i was on the spectrum, but i thought she was joking! For fucks sakes, this is FULL BLOWN autism, and it's not getting any better. What the fuck guys, how do you cope when you come down with the 'tism?
>>35264036
If you're serious and were recently diagnosed with autism, know that it's just a diagnosis, just words attached to the person you already were. You're the exact same person, capable of the exact same things as you were pre-diagnosis. Effectively, it changes nothing. Take that as you will.Or act like your life is over, and blame all of your shortcomings on your diagnosis. That's a pretty popular path around here.
>>35264120
i'll choose the latter until i die
now at least i have an excuse for TFW NO GF and REEEEEEEEing indiscriminately at mom and cat
>it was never easier to get a gf then when you were a teenager
>you missed out
I'm fucking done after hearing this fat ugly bitch looking for a doctor to marry.
>then
absolute twat.
The fuck are you on? Now it's easier than ever.
>>35264339
This, 20s is far easier than high school was. Chicks come onto me now