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I'm a grown man.
I buy my own tendies.
No fuck that,
I never eat tendies like a pleeb,
I only eat Tendies Burgers.
Tendie Burgers are the best,
no odd bumps,
no weird edges,
just a perfectly flat disk of tendie,
evenly cooked,
evenly crispy,
everything the same,
except the center bite which of course I never eat.
Had to work late tonight
gotta make that tendie money.
Head over to the Mexican Market at 10:45pm,
Mexicans make the best Tendie Burgers.
Park my Yaris,
Scurry inside,
Grab a basket cause I'm gonna load up tonight,
Gonna be the Tendie Burger King.
Waddle through the fruit section,
Shuffle past the meat counter,
Ah finally, after a hard day's work,
the pre-packed meats section.
Reach of a disgusting Mexican child in a cart to grab a meat bag,
Strafe over to the chicken section.
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Where
The
Fuck
Are
My
Tendie Burgers!?
I see chicken nuggers, and I see chicken parts, but where THE FUCK are my tendie Burgers!?
My small sausage like fingers move with the dexterity of a pianist, moving meat packages out of the way desperately trying to find tendie Burgers.
After 30 seconds I am out of breath.
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The loud speaker crackles, man says something in Mexican.
The loud speaker crackles again, some Mexican says, "Northgate shoppers, the store will be closing in 5 minutes."
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Nearly have a seizure,
Poop a little in my underwear,
Pull it together,
Grab some nuggers and make a break for the checkout.
Grab a four pack of Kickstarter and make it to the checkout as they are about to close.
Sweat pouring down my face.
Stupid Mexican Checker says, "Looks like a party tonight."
Don't say anything, pay and waddle out at full speed.
Scurry across the parking lot.
Get into my Yaris and drive home.
Waddle up the stairs.
Get to the microwave,
Open my grocery bag,
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I guess we're gonna do this,
Cook 18 nuggers for 50 seconds,
Flip them like a Tendie Burger,
Microwave for 30 more seconds,
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Shake out some Bar-b-q sauce,
Crack open a Kickstarter Orange,
The only worthy flavor,
Sit down in front of monitor,
Take one bite
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Tastes like a rotten sponge,
Immediately drop all the rest of the nuggers in my poo bucket.
Not gonna work.
This is a major problem,
Mexican Market is closed,
Walmart is closed,
I have no dinner and worse,
I eat two Tendie Burgers for breakfast every morning,
I bring two Tendie Burgers to work for lunch every day,
I'm not gonna have time to go back to the Mexican Market before work,
I'm so hungy, but no where is open that sells Tendie Burgers.
What do I do?
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>>35369041
Do continue on with this gripping tale.
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>tfw your mom and dumbass sister are fighting again
Just shut the fuck up already
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>>35369026
You should help them calmly come to an agreement without yelling.
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>>35369052
If you want your dick in a mason jar under the sink, then you should gladly step between two women while they're fighting.
>>
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>tfw no evil crazy gf
>tfw cant look at your siblings and parents in the eyes
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>>35369022
why not? Did you do something you're ashamed of?
>>
>tfw can't look at anyone in the eyes
>>
>>35369022
I cant either, why is this?
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>Checking r/worldnews
>Usually skip through libtard BS comments
>See pic related
>Countless others, including top comments
>Didn't realize there was a single based person on that commie shit hole
Are those normie faggots finally starting to see the truth? Is this migrant flood the wake up call we needed? Or is reddit becoming red pilled?
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>libtard
stopped reading there. form your opinions by rational thought and argument rather than identity politics if you want people to not think you're an idiot
>>
>>35368981
>he as far browses comments on reddit for news
Lad, save yourself
>>
>>35368981
>we have reached a stage where posters openly admit to browsing reddit
truly, this is the end times.
Anonymous
What went wrong thread 2017-03-08 04:32:44 Post No.35368976
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What went wrong thread 2017-03-08 04:32:44 Post No.35368976
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>Be me at ages 3-5, fairly socially awkward at a young age
>Had a few friends, most were girls
>A few of us go to the same elementary school together
>Make more friends, life is looking good
>First grade a girl touched my pee-pee during story time. I always didn't know how to read and felt great shame, spent hours practicing as I wanted to be like the smart kids. It finally happened and scored amazing on the state testing
>Second grade my best friend, a girl I went to pre school with, confessed to me. We did everything together, but she left the school soon after.
>Third Grade, new best friend, she confessed to me as well. Making lots of friends still
This is where I think it all went wrong
>Get invited to 'gifted' classes, reading middle school books and discussing themes. I am the only guy in the class, I am separated from my friends.
>Fourth grade I am no longer with my new best friend. Dont fit in with the smarties, didn't fit in with the sport guys. Found a small group of people that accepted me, I was desperate.
>Get bullied the entire year, being told I am essentially worthless and treated like the source of problems. This continues into 5th grade except for my 3rd grade best friend comes back and makes life better. She understood my insecurities and was generally kind.
>6th grade two new people arrive at my school. An actor and a girl, they aren't relevant yet. But around this time is when a few kids started hitting puberty.
>Make friends with a nice asian kid, a future FtM tranny, and a few others. Life seems to be set on track again, slightly social, no longer feel like an outcast.
>New ginger kid is the new most popular fuck, I hate him. We eventually become friends. He "dated" some girls including the girl who transferred the same year as him. I was immensely jealous.
I'll continue anyway, this is more for me. Middle school and high school crushed me really. Sorry if I am bothering you.
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>>35368976
>used books and games for escapism from a young age
>hated socializing
>found 4chan in 2004 was 16 back then
>end of story
Also you a normie faggot for having friends so you are winner
>>
>>35368976
>Second grade my best friend, a girl I went to pre school with, confessed to me. We did everything together, but she left the school soon after.
>Third Grade, new best friend, she confessed to me as well. Making lots of friends still
>she confessed to me
I am not sure what this even means
>>
>>35368976
>Eventually I get Gingy's sloppy seconds. New Girl goes out with me, or whatever it could be considered.
>2 weeks later my FtM not yet a tranny friend told me she was with New Girl and she she went down on her
>Lose confidence in self, she just cheated on me. Confront her. She says it wasn't technically cheating because it was with a girl.
>Gingy and asian friend are only friends left, or at least that is how I felt. I join Band class, pick up Percussion because drums are cool and I wanted to be cool.
>7th grade. Gingy tells me to ask out a girl that I thought was way above my league, I do it expecting failure. She says yes.
>This girl was and is still pretty attractive. She was good looking, funny, smart, she was actually one of the girls in the smarty group from 3rd grade. Regardless, I am forced to break up with her after Gingy told me she couldn't do it.
>7th grade spring I meet a cool 8th grader in band, she played percussion. She was a little chubby but I liked her. She was my first real relationship, together for 3 months. Then I ignored her, just dropped her. She was mad, my friends were mad. Everyone thought I was an asshole. I don't know why I did it.
>Eigth grade. All my friends call me an asshole, my grades are terrible because I get obsessed with vidya.
>Slowly throughout the year I work my way up the social ladder. Friends with Chad and Stacy, get invited to hang out. Life is good, I have a new found confidence.
>End of the year I have people saying they admire my attitude about things. I touch New Girl's boobs.
>Still called an asshole at times, but it is mainly because I acted autistic and made racist/homophobic/sexist jokes with close friends.
Cont I guess. Next part is when I get cucked at 15 by a whale.
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What was the year 2010 like for you robots?
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don't remember it
>>
Starting senior year of highschool so pretty easy as I already had all the credits I needed to graduate. I also still had some hope in the future
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>>35368955
>>35369006
Was it a good year for you?
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Is 5'10 too short to get a girl?
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>>35368884
Way too short.
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>>35368884
Yes
Anything under 6'3" is suicide-tier
>>
>>35368884
under 6ft they just laugh at you.
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If i made a /r9k/ Discord server. What will you think will happen in it?
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>>35368821
it would become flooded with normalfags
There is only one good robot discord, and the ban all women, gays and normalfags.
They don't even post invites here anymore because this place turned into /r/4chan 2.0
>>
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>>35368821
it's just not possible OP
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>>35368857
and if you are a non-virgin you get banned immediately.
Anonymous
Post your ass, traps rate 2017-03-08 04:24:15 Post No.35368798
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Post your ass, traps rate 2017-03-08 04:24:15 Post No.35368798
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Post your ass, traps rate
Anonymous
2017-03-08 04:24:15
Post No. 35368798
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Attention fags
Post your ass, then traps rate them and tell you whether theyd fuck you
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>a cute trap will never lovingly fugg my butt
>>
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i-im too ashamed to take anything off sorry
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/r9k/, i need help finding a movie i remember seeing recommended here a few months ago
i can only remember a scene in which a guy and some girl (i think she was assigned to be his assistant but he didnt like her or something) are at a diner. the guy makes up some story about a waitress that is serving them and says things like "she got an abortion, shes working 2 jobs, etc" and then at the end of the monologue he says something along the lines of "and despite all that she's still not as pathetic as you". then the girl stares at him for a sec before leaving and he continues with his meal or coffee or whatever. anyone have any clues or know the name?
pic loosely related, there was a similar shot in the scene i think
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please assist ive been searching for about 2 hours now
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>>35368778
That's silver linings playbook but pal theres so many movies with that same shot
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>she claims to have a new bf
>she doesnt block me and lets me keep sending her messages even after saying "goodbye" a few times and replying to me again after saying "i'm not replying to you anymore"
>could easily block me and not receive messages from me at all
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she's wants your money
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She wants your fat cock, friend.
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>>35368829
i have nothing to offer her other than my words
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"GUYS GUYS
YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT ANON JUST SAID. G-GO AHEAD ANON, WHAT WAS IT YOU SAID AGAIN??"
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''Jews did 9/11.''
originel
>>
>>35368744
J-Jews are the reason i'm a virgin
>>
I v-voted for Jeb Bush
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>Even if you manage to lose your own virginity, you will never know what it feels like to take someone else's
Feels bad man
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>>35368728
iktf, lost my v from pity sex with an experienced friend who isn't even attracted to my gender. haven't had sex since and will certainly never have a virgin. no wizard powers or partner. just kill me now
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What need did you have to remind me?
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Married to a woman who wasn't a virgin when we got together. I was. Fuck you, OP. I never looked at it this way.
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Should feet be censored?
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all females should be completely censored.
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>>35368683
Woah what game is that?
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Heads should be censored. This is much better, wouldn't you agree?
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I just lost all my peeps.
ALL OF THEM.
MY RARES, MY MINT CONDITION, EVERYTHING. I WANT TO DIE RIGHT NOW
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>>35368646
>2017
>not having 7 offsite backups
>>
>>35368699
Fancypants over here doing that.
Gotta keep it natural
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>>35368730
Faggot do you even invest your pepes?