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Ask your Mommy or Daddy to bring you McDonalds. Post results.
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I live with my little sister who already brought me McDonalds after she was done work.
Do I ask for it again?
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>>35390043
texted mom and dad
mom texted back to ask dad
dad texted "sure thing champ what do you want"
so guess i am having McDonald today
now i feel sad
i have awesome parents and yet i am a failure.
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>>35390135
Work hard, make them proud friendo.
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Discord stories thread
>random dude joins my discord
>ask who he is
>doesnt say anything and beats around the bush
>ban him
talk about autism you experience
5 Posts / 2 Images
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Tons of it desu, people who come into servers expecting people to orbit them right away are the worst people I can think of
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>>35390944
TELL ME ABOUT IT
voicechatfags are the worst
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>>35390015
>Join a Discord
>Either dies in a month or is overrun with normies
>Leave
>Repeat
I know this used to happen with ever other iteration of chat, but man it's starting to get boring now.
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>Wait, you're still a virgin, anon?
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>>35389996
N-no I lost it in high school of course1
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>>35389996
yes senpais, pls help me ;_;
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Yeah
Why does it surprise you?
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>mother starts using internet
>finds allrecipes
>decides to contribute a recipe
>she is really excited to share her recipe with the world
>she uploads 'mummy's tasty cheesecake'
>it is a cheesecake she often makes for me
>pretty normal Cheesecake but with chopped dates sprinkled over the top and pieces of raisin and a biscuit crumb base
>read the recipe she uploaded
>she keeps making references to me
>things like 'my son loves dates, but he never has any!'
>includes a link to my dating website profile
>pictures of the cake have my face photshopped in a 'pac man' style eating the cake
>tfw got really angry
>created 10 accounts
>used them all to leave hateful reviews
>started calling her a 'stupid bitch with a fat son'
>even made the cheesecake when she was out then took a picture of it with me giving the finger towards it.
>she gets upset and removes the recipe
>stops using the site
Sorry mummy, I did what needed to be done.
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>>35389984
this story made me kek
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your story made me laugh, anon, especially the part with your pac man face eating the cake. Thanks
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>>35389984
please tell me no one is new enough to not know about this shit.
this is the gayest repost ive seen in a while
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This thread is only for tired oldfags.
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>>35389967
I'm a newfag of 2012 here to ruin your shit.
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>>35390014
That's fine. At least you've been here a couple years. The average poster has probably been here 1, maybe 2 years. I feel like most people from my time have moved on.
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>>35390033
they probably have or don't post here they probably post on /lit/ or /math/ or /o/ places where the smart fucks go.
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God forgive me but I must fap
9 Posts / 3 Images
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>>35389959
Let him who hath no faps cast the first Stone
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>>35390321
i shall be pelted with rocks
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>>35389959
ayy lmao
oreganon
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Post cute stuff here
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>>35389937
>Post cute stuff here
good idea
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(you) specifically original (you)
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no gay shit pls
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Do fat people even feel pain in their hanging sacks of fat? Could fat people survive being hit by a bullet, would they even feel it if you slammed them in the fat sack with a hammer?
If you poked a fat person with a needle would the fat just start spraying out of them
18 Posts / 1 Images
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Fat people do feel pain in their fatty areas. Fat won't stop a bullet. Yes, they would feel it. Fat is a solid, it can't "spray out".
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>>35389906
Fat people can take slightly more impact and could survive cuts, stabs, and gunshots as easily as a fit person.
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>>35389906
>fat just start spraying out of them
Fat cells are fat cells, no matter the size- they stay stable.
This actually causes the necrosis in morbidly obese tissue- the fat cells choke out veins.
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CAN I STILL GET INTO HEAVEN IF I KILL MYSELF
IF I TURN IT ON ME
IF I EVEN IT OUT
CAN I STILL GET IN
OR WILL THEY SEND ME TO HELL
CAN I STILL GET INTO HEAVEN IF I KILL MYSELF
4 Posts / 1 Images
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Ya'll burn in hell lol
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I LEFT THE HOTEL BEHINDDON'T WANNA KNOW HOW IT ENDS
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>>35390044
Check those dubbies
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>this is me right now
>wagecucked as fuck
>can't even afford gun
How do I just fucking end it /r9k/
3 Posts / 2 Images
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cool
oregao
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>>35390053
I got imgcucked :(
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>Fapped to porn of my waifu again
>Can't even stop myself from having lewd thoughts about her anymore.
I hate this. I feel sick. I don't deserve to live.
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>when you fap to images of your waifu getting knotted by dog cocks and nigger dicks
>fap tot he thought of her farting it out into your mouth
>cum on the ground and lick it up
>literally want to kill myself the postfap feels are so overbearing
i want to die.
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>>35389922
I would never wish this fucking feel on anyone.
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shouldn't fap to porn in general
only feel good about masturbating if it's to a fantasy with my waifu
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Fembots, why don't you go to the gym?
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>>35389840
too much effort just to take a selfie
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Most girls I know don't go to the gym and are cute beyond imagination. My friends say I have low standards and I'd probably agree with them.
As a guy I think most girls don't go to the gym because other than keeping a slim body, you don't have much else to improve on besides your ass. But as a professional autist, I get mad when I see grills at the gym just to work on their ass. Just hogging the squat rack. I sound gay as fuck but it just upsets me for some reason.
It's always good to stay in shape, but I'd say females nowadays don't need to go to the gym as much as males do.
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>>35389840
wtf is she wearing
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Help r9k
A girl I work with has been flirting with me for like 3 weeks and just snapped me saying shes single.What do i want dem cheeks
5 Posts / 1 Images
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>tfw ask 4chan for advice on relationships
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>>35389787
I'm actually terrible at snapchat/texting. in person I'm fine but over snaps I just sound autistic
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Very Simple "Do you want to go on a date?"
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hey /r/obots is there a comedian that makes you laugh?mines bo burnham <3
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Norm MacDonald is the funniest comedian to walk the fact of the entire planet.
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>>35389717
Dave attell, Billy burr, patrice O'Neal.
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>>35389717
For some reason I feel like I hate this guy, but I can't really remember why. I watched one Netflix special by him, ages ago.
ITT Self hate
Berate yourself and put yourself down.
I'm a degenerate piece of shit. I have deviant fetishes. I'm a disgusting pedophile and faggot. I need to be slowly murdered. I shouldn't even be alive. Even my family hates me. Even on 4chan I'm an annoying piece of shit. I let down everyone who bothers to take interest in me. People should just avoid me and not waste their time. Maybe some day I'll actually go through with it and kill myself. At least I'd finally have done something right for once.
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>>35389683
Anon would you mind elaborating? I want to talk to you.
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>>35389683
I have fucked up my life so bad. Self harm scars that openly advertise how fucked in the head I am, will keep me from ever getting a gf no woman wants to date a fucking pussy.
Over educated over achiever with two and half decades of school and a degree with responsibilities I will never be able to live up to. Everyone will soon find out i'm a fraud and the ugly reality of what I am will be rightly exposed for all to see.
Also half spic half euromutt I don't even fucking make sense genetically.
The best thing that could possibly happen is for me to die before residency begins and then I will at least die with some promise I never had the opportunity to fail to live up to.
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>>35389826
I do mind elaborating. Why would you even want to talk to me?