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If you had kids, how would you embarrass them?
I'd make puns and dance occasionally
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>>35427697
I'd browse 4chan, watch anime with my dakimakura and play really autistic games when their friends are around.
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>>35427732
don't you do that already?
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>>35427908
Yes, and everyone is very embarrassed for me so it must be working.
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Hey robots, what are your hobbies and interests? I don't have any, and I'm looking to adopt at least one so that I don't constantly obsess about food and eating. What are some enjoyable hobbies that you guys partake in to combat your depression and lonliness?
14 Posts / 4 Images
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>>35427689
I write porn for fun sometimes, even have enough interest to get paid for it.
Don't get into anime as a hobby, it's not worth it. Reading and learning software are pretty good hobbies though, if you think about it you can use them as excuses for lack of work as well.
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>>35427689
I like astronomy
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i go to coffeeshops and drink coffee
i program beats and music
i play guitar and sing. maybe start building instruments
i clean my room
i'm still lonely, but at least i haven't blown my brains out
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When I get married, I want to be out working while my wife stays at home to take care of the kids, and homeschool them when they get old enough. Is this even feasible anymore?
7 Posts / 2 Images
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>>35427630
>Get married
You getting married is not feasible, no.
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>>35427795
that's cruel anon
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If you're very well-paid.
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>used to be avoidant
>became schizoid
who else /schizoid/ masterrace here?
17 Posts / 2 Images
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>>35427609
What's the difference between schizoid and schizophrenic?
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>>35427692
a lack of positive symptoms (auditory and visual hallucinations), while still manifesting many of the negative symptoms like a need for social isolation and blunted affect.
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>>35427609
As a child I was told Schizophrenia was basically auditory and visual hallucinations but then I was just told that it was a disconnection or misinterpretation with reality
If reality is different based on location though wouldn't that mean everyone is schizophrenic?
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https://twitter.com/ZachGTR/status/840260850468454400
Why is racemixing so disgusting to me
5 Posts / 1 Images
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I endorse this
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It's the cost of your insolence and laziness.
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LOL.
YOU WERE BANISHED FROM THE GARDEN.
BANISHED TO EARTH TO DIE HAHAHAHAHA
Anonymous
Boyfriend accidentally got a happy ending. Was it cheating? 2017-03-10 06:29:57 Post No.35427503
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Boyfriend accidentally got a happy ending. Was it cheating? 2017-03-10 06:29:57 Post No.35427503
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Boyfriend accidentally got a happy ending. Was it cheating?
Anonymous
2017-03-10 06:29:57
Post No. 35427503
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>boyfriend and I are vacationing in New York
>we're making love in a hotel room
>when I finish him off only a little bit of cum comes out
>ask him why his load was so small
>he tells me he went to get a massage earlier from a Massage Therapist and ended up getting a happy ending
>he didn't know they offered happy endings and the massage therapist started giving him a handjob without asking if it was okay for him
>he was too shy to tell her to stop and inform her that he has a girlfriend
I knew he got a massage earlier that day, but I didn't know he accidentally walked into a place that gave sexual massages. Does it count as cheating for a man to allow a massage therapist to give him a handjob ?
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>>35427503
dirty dumb roastie scum
Get the fuck off my board
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>accidentled a happy ending
>just a handjob
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>>35427503
"accidentally"
He knew.
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Pointless story coming, just wanted to share. Most of you will consider me a normie, which I'm not, but I'm also not a complete robot. I'm an almost 20 year old virgin with a couple superficial friends.
>Send a "send nudes" picture made out of chocolate letters via snapchat to a bunch of people as a joke
>this german girl from my uni class replies "send that to your crush haha"
>I reply something corny along the lines of "why you think I sent it to you?"
>chat for a bit
> invite her to a casual party i was going to that night (no I'm not regularly invited to parties but this was my only real friend who invited me)
>she says ok
>go to the party. I drink a bit, she doesn't because she doesn't drink.
>after a while everyone goes outside to smoke, I'm alone with her.
>think fuck it, and go for the kiss
>she kisses back
>euphoria
>say I'm leaving, she's also leaving.
>walk to my place, ask if she wants to come in
>she agrees. We go inside, just kinda chill in the bed.
>after a while go in for the kiss again.
>she says she's a virgin, tell her I won't have sex with her tonight.
>we lay in bed all night. I feel super awkward and euphoric at the same time. I can't sleep at all. Don't know if she can sleep and I'm constantly worrying that she's uncomfortable.
>next morning do some cringy shit like bringing her orange juice, making it too much like a cheesy romantic movie.
>next few days at uni I'm a bit too clingy, which I afterwards try to compensate by ignoring her completely.
>I ask if I can come over one more time. She agrees but doesn't seem very enthousiastic about it. We make out once more.
>stop contacting her because she never shows initiative.
>now it's just kinda awkward in class.
Why did I have to fuck this up robots?
She doesnt drink
She's a virgin
She never goes out except some rare occasions to formal events with girlfriends.
I lived the dream for a night.
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Yo. I didn't read everything but you lost at
>"send that to your crush."
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>>35427499
>stop contacting her because she never shows initiative.
As the man you have to do all the initiative
Ask her to be your gf and if she says no just ask that you guys be closer(this is code for fuckbuddies)
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You should of fucked her when you had a chance now she thinks you're pussy. Thats why shes put off by you
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>don't know how to cook
>want bacon and eggs for breakfast with grits
>grits can't chew
>egg yolk kill
>mfw bacon greese
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bacon medium heat in a pan, wait until dark and crispy if youre that shit at cooking
use bacon grease to cook at minimum 2 eggs on medium-low or else they'll be spongy, keep stirring
grits are ligerally just rice that you boil until its soft and just keep adding water until it keeps expanding then add butter at the end
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>>35427452
>Not baking bacon in oven
You literally have to be an idiot to mess this one up
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>>35427583
Don't listen to this asshole, cook the eggs first. You don't want bacony eggs.
Anonymous
>walking through town 2017-03-10 06:26:53 Post No.35427448
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>walking through town 2017-03-10 06:26:53 Post No.35427448
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>two normies stop me
>tell me they're doing a project about cool looking people
>ask to take my picture
>say they like my style
>agree to get my picture taken
What the fuck? Were they mocking me? I legit checked my pockets afterwards to see if they robbed me.
5 Posts / 3 Images
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>>35427448
what were you wearing?
I'm pretty sure they stopped you because you were out in public looking like a dildo.
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>>35427448
>>tell me they're doing a project about cool looking people
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>>35427448
Hey OP, want to see my Orgasming Penis? I only ask because you type really cool.
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>when I was a child I had dreams and fantasies where a group of older girls bullied and teased me
>they disappeared for some ~9 years
>when puberty hit me they came back
>start exploring porn
>nothing gets me off like femdom/chastity
>I get nothing out of fantasizing of being the one in control
>Had a sexual encounter when I was 18
>I had no clue what to do, she was disappointed and left me blueballed
>still virgin at 20
>tfw women want dominant men
>tfw some people are just born submissive
>tfw some people are just born never to reproduce
>tfw I will never have sex
>tfw some people truly are just born to die
>tfw I am one of those people
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>be pedophile
>all women hate me by default
>find out that there's a certain type of women who like pedophiles
>>Fuck my bald cunt
>>I wanna be a portable cock sleeve for a hung daddy
>>Slam it in deeper and farther
>>Gimme your fat daddy dick
>>Fucking destroy my pussy
>>God dammit give me that pedo dick
I-I just want to cuddle...
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>>35427579
What's happening here? Are you a girl or guy and you are a pedophile but you like other pedophiles?
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>>35427579
>even robots have sex even though pedophiles
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>meet a girlhere on /r9k/
>literally perfect for me
>never loved anyone as much as i love this girl
>time passes
>too scared of everythinghave trouble doing simple things like going to a bank or what have youto go visit her
>realize too late that she is unhappybecause im an idiot and she had to tell me
>lose her what seems like its going to be for good
>trying to get my shit together to maybe have even the slightest hope of fixing things
>too depressed to even get out of bed some days but still trying anyway
send help pleasei love you courtney
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Lmao.
>implying any of it is your responsibility or fault
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>>35427324
Fuck you Quentin, your dick was small and you were too obsessed with having me stimulate your prostate.
Chad splits me down the middle and eats me out whenever I ask, and beats up any little faggot (like you) who looks at me. You have no chance, go back to your anime weeb.
-Courtney
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>he fell for the fembot meme
Give up. It's for your own good.
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So how many of you guys here today posted back in 2003?
What about 2004?
Even 2010?
I have to say, all those threads saying this and that about missing the good old times, or saying there never were good times, or saying 4chan never changed, are these people ever speaking from experience? Honestly you can't tell anymore, some you get a feeling are genuine but sometimes even the most genuine posts are fake.
Truth is, 4chan has changed, but honestly it's hard to notice, or maybe just hard to remember. It's like working at some place for a long time, sometimes you'll notice changes and other times not so much, but no matter what eventually it'll all just blend. Sometimes you'll get a thought about this or that, like if you worked in an office and remember when the computers all used Microsoft Office 2003 and now you use Office 2013, and say "Yeah, I miss those times." Why that happens I honestly can't think of a reason myself, I think everyone has different reasons for wanting to go back in time, sometimes they're legitimate feelings and sometimes not.
Whatever oldfags are on right now I want to know what your thoughts are on how 4chan has changed in your own eyes. What have you noticed, what haven't you, tell through your own experience of it. Anyone can look up how 4chan has changed but I want to know individually
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R9k was good when soc didn't exist. Was much more friendlier.
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>>35427300
/r9k/ before 2012 was an entirely different place in general
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>>35427272
I've been here since late '03 or early '04. Not sure exactly when, but I know it was still 4chan.net and not 4chan.org because I remember the switch clearly.
It was a very different site in the old days, and as you say, even up until the late '00s. It's kind of hard to articulate how it was different, but anybody who's been here this long will know what I mean. It's hard not to feel like a tiny minority (early anons) on a site that's long sense been dominated by people who came long after we did.
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>tfw could beat the shit out of everyone on this board with one hand tied behind my back
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>>35427225
not me pussyboi
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you ever taken a boxing class? how bout wrestling? no?
you're weak
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>>35427225
Bring it on, Nigger
..._--..-_.--....
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My dad walks around all day sucking drool back into his mouth.
Wtf is this is it like a sperg thing or what?
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>>35427210
your father had a stroke
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>>35427210
>>35427645
now eat your peas
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>tfw insomnia
i haven't slept more than 8 hours total in the past week. i have a gram of a research chemical opioid i found in my closet that i know will help, but i just quit opioids/opiates a couple months ago and it will certainly lead me to relapse
i've tried diphenhydramine, melatonin, and several other otc sleep aids, and i've gotten almost no relief besides a half hour of sleep here and there
help me ;-;
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>>35427204
There's a surefire cure for insomnia which has worked every time I've tried it: staying awake. Seriously, I once went 5 days without sleep during exams when there was a brutal heat wave and I didn't have air conditioning. The combination of heat and stress made sleeping impossible. At the end of 5 days I'd started to hallucinate, seeing dreams playing on every flat surface I looked at, like a movie screen, and I eventually just collapsed. It may take a few days, but if you stop worrying about sleeping, the sleep will come all on its own whether you want it to or not.
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>>35427204
I don't quite understand why people like you do this, OP. I have 8 tabs open right now, all with zero replies. Why do you robots create a new thread and then abandon it without so much as a courtesy of a response to people who've spent time trying to help you? You people spend all day creating new threads which flood actual, desirable threads off the bottom, and then just ignore them. It's obnoxious, OP.