How do you know feeling invisible aliens are watching you fap and analyzing your bizarre porn viewing habits?
Aliens, whatever, the Jews are the real issue.
LMAO
Perfect timing for this thread.
The scary thing about this idea is that it could totally be real, yet no one would know. If ayy lmaos are real and more technological advanced then us, they could easily hide themselves.
BULLE'D
BULLE'D
>>35463795
why does this turn me on, what does it mean, someone xplain
>>35463828
Your daughter will inevitably and invariably be...
BULLE'D
>>35463828
Women getting desecrated by giant primordial beasts is the hottest thing in the world.
It's why BLACKED has so many subs, it's hot seeing something nonhuman destroy something beautiful.
Fembots why are you here instead of getting laid or having a family like Stacey? Why are you not getting married? What's wrong with you? What are you waiting for?
Lol I'm glad Chloe got her wish....
>believing there is fembots here
It's just sissy boys pretending.
>>35463750
stacey doesn't have a family, she hits 30 and gets either one dog or 2 cats
Why don't girls like wearing socks?
>>35463735
Holy shit college women are shit.
>tfw based community college doesn't have women like this
audibly gagged at sight
>>35463735
>tfw trying to get that camel toe popping
You females wouldn't date a bearmode guy. All you care about is emaciated twinks.
>>35463705
are you bearmode? why don't you show us? <3
>>35463705
>You males wouldn't date a bearmode girl. All you care about is emaciated teens.
>>35463784
>wanting emaciated children
tfw no 6ft gf with ample hair and healthy (also ample) fat and muscle distribution
>tfw drunk and about to text the only girl i've ever dated again
she's probably real tired of my shit at this point
>>35463697
>drunk texting
RESTRAIN YOURSELF, SON
I've only just started taking up drinking and somehow I can still maintain perfect grammar (though the extent to which I've drank has been pretty minimal, last time was about 6 shots of either peach liqueur or Fireball). Even still, I'm aware that I'm not in a good state to be communicating with anyone so I limit my drunk texts to my nocturnal stoner friend.
If I got wasted and started confessing to my oneitis how sexually frustrated I am because of her I'd probably get shot in the dick.
>>35463697
holy shit, i was literally about to do the same thing. I have no idea what to tell my girl, but we havent spoken in months and it can only end poorly.
ill probably tell her to go fuck herself
I am the star of a story I cannot enjoy
This is the best explanation to describe the oxymoron of my specific aliment if it is classified as
D E P R E S S I O N
That's a good phrase MANE
>>35463683
>depressionposting
>as if anyone here cares about basic depression
>>35464809
Iyd a trulru teiblle ferling
I just sniffed some cocaine and smoked weed all day.. what should i do now? any suggestions? getting bored really fast since i sniffed the coke
>weed + cocaine
seems like a waste, coke when you're high is like 1/2 of the buzz
>>35463554
Coke hangovers are the absolute worst, I can't understand how you can handle them. I used to do coke for social skills but the rebound anxiety the next day makes me utterly unsociable
>>35463566
yeah it was a stupid idea to do so.. i only did it because i was bored.. and now i dont wanna go to sleep
/r9k/ edition
Informed consent providers https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/932389/Trans/Stepping%20Forward%20-%20Informed%20Consent%20Clinics.pdf
Makeup for beginners: http://masterposter.tumblr.com/post/116605714860
Male vs Female measurement data: https://www.bwc.ohio.gov/downloads/blankpdf/ErgoAnthropometricData.pdf
Correct hormone levels: http://www.hemingways.org/GIDinfo/hrt_ref.htm
Checking your levels: http://www.privatemdlabs.com/lp/Female_Hormone_Testing.php
Size charts: http://www.americanapparel.net/sizing/default.asp?chart=womens.pantse_conversion_chart.php
Transition time lines: http://imgur.com/a/qWpxv
Voice Training: https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/1ske7b/mtf_voice_training_regimen/
Voice Help: http://webjedi.net/projects/lgbtq/speech-therapy/
>>>/lgbt/
this thread doesn't belong on /r9k/
>>35463538
>tfw you're not a real girl
do i pass mtfgr9k
>tfw too normie for /r9k/
>tfw too robot for normies
https://discord.gg/ygBpP
discord for cyborgs. no normies allowed. no robots allowed either.
cyborgs are literally a subset of normalfags you special snowflake mongo
>>35463577
cyborgs inhabit their own plane of existence between the two
>>35463607
They're just awkward normies
Realize something
I hate being touched.
I like to think i'm not really real.
Had an intrusive thought
>dont touch me
>if you touch me you better kill me
You cannot doubt that you exist
The act of doubting proves you exist
Not even the prospect of death frees you from this fact because no one can know what happens after death
>>35463528
Never doubted my existence.
Doubted I was real.
Think about it. The realization might surprise you.
>>35463609
Nah senpai, you are always real
But the external world, you can doubt that reality
>be me
>get a gf
why you aren't me?
Hey I'm trying ok?
>>35463454
That's your gf?
Figgity fuggity whuttt I think I just jizzle jazzled in muh pants.
DAILY REMINDER
Filipino's are the the most powerful race in the world.
Objectively the lowest race
Who?
Original comment 09098
This pic is so old, they probably have kids and can't afford faggy cloths like that anymore.
have you ever been in an accident while you were driving? i never have, only thing i've ever hit was a really bad pot hole.
I knew legalizing pot would lead to problems. Fucking stoners digging holes in the road...
>>35463350
I was fixing my hair in my rear view mirror on my way home from class and rear ended one of the qts in my class.
Ended up rear ending her for real a week later, if u know what I'm sayin.
I have crashed all the cars I've ever owned while drunk. I have a very large drinking problem.
>white dodge neon
I was driving home and swerved over a high, angled curb, it ripped my tired off - when the cops came I told them someone in a red ford taurus ran me off the road because I already had a red paint scuff on the side of my car. No issue.
>plymouth van
I let a friend drive it and he got t-boned going left through a yellow light. turns out he had no liscense or insurance so I had to sue him for wrongful entrustment. I late finished off that van by crashing in a dumpster
>Jeep Patriot
Was coming home from the bar and passed out right at my apartment complex. I went through the fence and into a pond. I was living with my mom at the time so she came and took over my place as the driver saying she was on new meds (she was) and it made her pass out.
>Toyota Tocoma
I was drinking and taking a lot of klonopin at the time. I blacked out and rear ended this family in a minivan hard as fuck. People got hurt and I had to spend a year in jail - which was more boring than anything else.
Don't be like me.
I finally did it guys. After weeks of searching online my chubby dadbod ugly autistic mug found a girl who not only agreed to go to dinner but came to my place and was super dtf. She has her flaws but let me tell you it is not her body, pic relate. Except after we make out and I awkwardly take off her clothes and eat her out, as I try to enter my stupid fucking dick decides to deflate. Waited and talked for 10 min and tried three times again, her blowing me, me spanking her, I get hard but when pee pee enter vagine... nope. Now shes turned off laying naked on my bed now and Im too depressed to even try. It's like im cursed to be a perma virgin. And my tongue kinda burns from eating her do I have aids pls help me understand why this happen
>>35463337
I'd assume your tongue burns because vaginas are acidic
also I worry the same will happen to me
>>35463337
Tell her to blow you better. It sounds alpha as fuck and shell be turned on again and youll get a power boner just from commanding a woman to succ. Do it OP its now or never
Just tell her you were nervous and try again some other time. It happens.