Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8168. page

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>>35512585
>dominant

be my bf

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Eh im not much of a sexual person though

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am a grille

>>35512498
Human nature. Atleast I hope so. I do the same shit

Everyone has these, friend

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>>35512498
violent primal impulses

i like intrusive thoughts, i can visualize doing what they say and have a good laugh

one time i thought about drenching this cute girls white dress with fruit punch, didn't do it but i imagined how'd she react and it was hilarious

fun bully fantasies without actually hurtin anyone, good times

I took a bath with my 8-year-old sister once

>>35512548
nice, how old were you?

how fucking rock hard is your cock right now dude oh my god

>>35512489
It's hitting the maximum 6 inches

>>35512474
what are you doing on r9k Kripp

Sometimes I do this and get really motivated. Then I'll try to move forward. Then i'm brutally reminded that i'm a useless idiot with no value to anybody. Then I just get more depressed than I was before. It's just one of many vicious circles i'm in

>>35512522
I know the feeling man, tell me about what trips you up. If we can identify the things that throw us of we can figure out how to get past them.

>>35512551
i'm a useless idiot with no value to anybody

are you the same person who posted that thread earlier this afternoon? what is your endgame here?

I sold a bike on craigslist today.
They said they'd be there around 3pm, I stood by it outside from 2:30pm to 5pm well after they had left because I couldn't stop freaking out over nothing.

I also fucked myself out of 50% of the asking price because they low balled me and I just wanted to agree and get it over with.

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I usually rotate between the fear of dying, failing a college class, car crashes, the power going out again, my cat dying, and having to live a fully adult life with my own place after I graduate. I wish I could just relax, but it's not happening.

I always think someone is trying to kill me. It's not even a fear usually. It's like that feeling when your beating off and you can hear your mom or whomever walking through the hall near your door. Like you know she isn't going to swing open your door even if she was coming to talk to you but the possibility is there and it's enough to be on edge.

>>35512437
>little girl
>not link-style super twink
omniscient my ass, this fucker's a goddamn raven short of a folkmoot

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>>35512437
It should be noted that you will think, feel, act, and enjoy the same things you do now in all options unless otherwise noted.

Option 1: The good news is you'll never have to deal with the bleeding and cramps that other women do. The bad news is that's thanks to you asexually breeding the very first chance your body gets. You will always be pregnant with not even 12 hours after you give birth for rest. You will carry between three and six babies at a time. There will never be complication or miscarriage, and every single one will be fully carried to term (often they'll be overdue) and safely delivered whether you want them to or not. Birth is more like taking a massive shit than anything else for you, but while there's no need to ever see a doctor even for delivery nobody said it will be easy. If you don't want them there will be an infinite number of loving homes who will snatch them up before even the afterbirth comes out.

>>35512437
Can God make me a genderless freak of nature instead? I don't want to be able to get pregnant and have tiddies or be a man.

sadly, no, no, nothing, and no

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I had one in high school. Just rejected her and told her off, and she went her way. She accidentally liked an old Facebook profile picture, which made me think considering I'm not attractive.

>tfw homophobe
>tfw hate women with a burning passion

Coniving, judgemental, lying thieves. All of them. I REEEE at how they have acted towards others, and I don't want to be put in the same spot.

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>>35512362
I can't believe you'd be attracted to a dwarf so ugly.

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the chloe/pedro meme is my favourite

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>>35512480
Mirin' that jawline.

Elaborate. Sounds like a shit plan anon

Are you gonna do so many that you hope that the comedown will be bad enough to keep you away?

idgi

>>35512346
That sounds like a nice plan, green text it anon

Nips japs Asians >>>/int/ go find one. No one cares. Go away.

>tfw not cucking japanese guys with your big gaijin penisu

>tfw no japanese fembot discord member

https://discord.gg/ffv5aej

Some number cruncher office job, or if you're only a HS grad, overnight at a warehouse

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train animals

You can always join the military. Depending on the job you'll have an easy 4 years and gain a lot of useful skills and benefits.

I CAN'T EVEN GET A BAGEL SAAAAANDWWWIIIIIIICH

original

>>35512163
it's only when you see it in the form of an imageboard post that you realize how bland and shitty normie humor is
lol look he's saying the thing in the dumb voice, isn't that hilarious, doesn't it just make you want to RT me and donate to my patreon. ha ha ha. laugh at the joke or it's on you, because feminism

fucking anime chatrooms are wittier than this, jfc

>>35512323
this
Sam Hyde is gay

>>35512125
I don't give a fuck about your pedo-tendencies, I want to hear what being a mailman is like.

>>35512158
It's pretty chill. Just walking and listening to music and podcasts all day.

>>35512158
riding in metal box
is always too hot or too cold
scars on my arm form the door

back hurt from heavy packages
always overtime on december

hello your mailbox is full

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>Bro just be confident, work on your body language and poster, dress better, make sure you smell good and have clean clothes, wash your face and get a fresh haircut at least every other week. Thats what I do.

>>35512086
>there are people who still don't believe that looks are all that matter
Wow

>>35512136
I'm not trying to be like the women who rant about that volleyball player, but i genuinely do not understand why this guy gets posted here so often. He's got symmetrical features and a good head of hair but he's pretty weird looking.