Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7849. page

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tomorrow is my birthday, and I had a very stressful day today, so it's time to drink some whiskey
got my Old Forester again
post your poison, robots

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why haven't you tried to make yourself cry today anon? it's time consuming and therapeutic.

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Robots, is she /ourmuppet/ ?

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I have to get drunk to walk this fucking dog. The fucking dog is aggressive to other dogs. I don't know what to do. It's been months and alcohol no longer numbs me enough. I can't take it. I'm seriously considering killing it.

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> be me
> work 3pm to 9pm
> going well
> find heroine needle someones daughter picked up
> dad throws it on register
> go to manager
> we throw it away
> later when i clock out
> tell co worker to have a good night
> "yea whatever"
> walks off
feeling like shit...
> smoke another cigarette in hopes that i will die soon
> have uni tomorrow getting close to taking CompTIA A+ cert to become IT guy

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I would like to discuss and post tranny memes, friends.

Here is one of my favorites.

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>Be me
>Final year of high school in new school
>Don't know anyone but just talk to a couple of people barely
>prom is apparently coming up
>Never been to stuff like that cus cringe and normans
>A guy that usually talks to me comes over to me during lunch and says "hey my freind is looking for a date for prom. The guy she asked didn't really give her a clear response and she's kind of scrambling for a date now. Do you want to go with her?"
>I say "idk I can think about it though. I'm just not sure"
>he says "ok I'll tell her it's a maybe" and walks away

Should I go? I've never done anything like this and I think if I do go I'll just be the sperg lord that I usually am x10 if I do go. Again only normans go to those kinds of things and I can't really apply myself to things like that. I've never had an opportunity to do something like this. The girl isn't like really cute but she isn't an abomination either. Should I say no?

What do?

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>wanking with slow internet
my pain is sharp and constant and I do not hope for a better world for anyone

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I'm going to the prom with a grill. what do people do at a prom? also a crazy ex will probably see me there. how fucked am I?

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TFW 32 with no GF, no money, no house

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So guys I really want a motorcycle. I found some used ones online like pic related for around $ 1500. but my father experienced trauma at the age of ten when his brother billy crashed his motorcycle into a car that pulled out in front of him. I'm 25 and live with my parents.
My dad is already under a great amount of stress from work and suffered a heart attack a few years back.
Would it be wrong to buy one at this time?
Does buying one while living under my parents roof look shitty?

I really need one. I don't think I'll survive another Houston summer without it.

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Without knowing anything about me, tell me why I don't have a gf.

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>mfw only moderate on /r9k/
Any other moderates

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>literal autist starts a thread
>it gets almost no replies
>it dies quickly with almost only self bumps
>he makes it again the next day
talk about autism you experience

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>it was my senior year of high school
>finals were coming up, and I had to be ready
>I wanted to be a zoologist, so I could study the lives of all swamp creatures
>I studied every night, but only after I prayed to Shrek
>I knew that if I prayed to shriek, he would empower me to focus, on my studies
>on the day before our finals I was studying in class
>I had all of my notes spread across my desk
>I start my daily prayer to Shrek
>everyone in the room bursts out laughing
>why do you even pray to Shrek, scolds one older boy
>shrek is drek! Exclaimed another girl
>suddenly the room starts to shake as if there was an earthquake
>everyone starts to panic, but I know better and stay calm
>a giant crack in the ground opens up, and several terrified students fall in.
>a giant green hand reaches up from the crack
>its all ogre now
>shrek jumps out of the crack and grabs the teacher by his hair.
>shrek bends him into the shape of a boomerang and throws him at the other students
>blood is everywhere, as the boomerang teacher slices all the students in half
>I am the only survivor
>shrek picks up the bodies of the dead students and rapes their corpses
> Shrek looks at me and asks me if I want some help to study
>I am delighted
>he takes my notes and shoves them up my butt
>I can feel paper cuts in my anus
> as I feel the agonizing pain, Shrek puts himself in my mouth
>the amazing taste distracts me from the burning in my butt
>as Shrek finishes, I look up and find that he is gone
> I went on to graduate at the top 20% of my class
>at my graduation speech, I only had one thing to say
>shrek is love, Shrek is life