Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7654. page

Unfortunately I am a nigger

Fortunately, I have a big dick.

unfortunately, im lurking /r9k/

fortunately, im lurking /r9k/

fuck

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>>35780911
Not a "robot" but I've fucked two virgins that I've met up with off here.

Both completely swallowed the horseshit about
>love is real!
and
>le soulmate maymay
And then went BDP levels of crazy after I never talked to them after hooking up. Had to block both of them.

It's super easy to rope in """fembots""", and you don't have to get attached because all of them are total trash. Highly recommend.

Just don't be a beta faggot and fall into the same trap you're setting.

>>35780980
i bet they were horrifically ugly

>>35781870
Ehh. Both were in the 4-5 range. One of the was decently fat though.

At least she carried it well.

Story time it fag

I threatened to rape my mother once, she brought it up once 8 years later and I pretended I didnt remember

>>35780874
yeah i kicked my mum for hitting the dog, she was really upset by it and I understand it was an overreaction but she had no right to hurt my doggy :(

>>35780864
Start eating more fats, especially things like steak and eggs.

>>35780889
Could have worded your post better.

You need calories, proteins etc to live a long and healthy life, so don't be afraid to eat red meats, fish, eggs yada yada. Where most people go wrong is eating red meats that have been processed to hell and pumped full of sodium.

And no, you can't live off fruits and veggies. Every self professed vegan always talks about being healthy and stronger when in actually they're weak as fuck.

See this news article:
http://time.com/4344556/mount-everest-death-climbing-vegan/

>>35780864
Congratulations you fat fuck, you're addicted to sugar. Non-sugary stuff doesn't taste bad, you're just addicted to the dopamine kick your brain let's off when you eat sugar, and you're not used to not getting it when you eat. It is literally the same as any other chemical dependency.

I promise, once you detox sufficiently, the things that taste terrible to you now will taste delicious, you'll get the same pleasure from a salad as you do now from cupcakes.

Cut out sugar. ESPECIALLY SODA NEVER TOUCH THAT FUCKING POISON

>>35780826
I don't know but I love you a little too now
Why not play the cards you're dealt. People like to feel useful/trusted, you're not hurting her by confiding in her and making her a part of your world, right?

>Why does this feel like you're manipulating the girl?

Because it is manipulation.

But if you open up to a girl, 9 times out of 10 you end up deep in the friend-zone since women inherently feel the need to compulsively "take care" of people and help them out.

From my experience it's the opposite.

In her eyes you are "broken", so she will try to avoid you from then on.

>starts ranting about cuck shit

goddamn it /tv/

>>35780745
>watch joi
>there's only like 5-10 good joi videos
>maturbate to the same 5-10 videos everyday for the past 3 years
Why can't Kendra, Zoey and Raylene make new JOI videos???

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>watch a joi
>she tells me to eat my own cum

dont frogs literally go REEEEEEEE in real life when distressed?

>>35780774
Yes they kinda do

REEEEEE is from a story someone told on r9k about an autistic kid at their school. Can't find it but it's out there somewhere. Who knows? Maybe your friend is that very autist.

>>35780685
red pill her dipshit.

>>35780685
>a commie girl maybe likes me wat do
pump and dump, you dont have to date her.

Redpill her with your dick anon, for us.

>>35780565
you should tell your grandma that she is gonna achieve immortality

Well your grandma will be a great asset to scientists for hundreds of years to find the solution to immortality, so that's good at least

Ask her to marry you, post response.
Incest is best.

>>35780545
TAKE A PICTURE FAGGOT

Try to take a pic. Also get her to feel bad for you, Latina bitches love taking care of others when they aren't extracting your soul from your body with their anger and rage

NOTHING, AS YOU DID ALWAYS IN YOUR LIFE

LATER FAP AT IDEA, THAT YOU DID SOMETHING

I hate you for being black. That said I find it hard to sympathise with the most normie race.

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>always having drugs
>always having fun
>always having chicken
>always having your "squad" to keep your back

>complaining

The good thing about life is that if you don't like it, you can always opt out.

lmaoooooo this nigga doesnt give a shit

>>35780500
>having a crush on a nerdy quiet girl

lol

>>35780500
>girl
>nerdy
>implying
lmao

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The worst part about all of that shit is that YOU'RE the one that get blamed. Other kids don't want to hang out with you? Well, YOU have a problem with social skills!

>"Hey everybody! Listen. I'll do most of the work if anybody joins my group"

>>35780481
Holy fuck this image is sad. Just the look on his face, only his mother there to light his candle and sing happy birthday celebrating the fact he's lived two eights of his life, probably alone.

Well, what happened? You fuck.

should have taken your contacts out. now you have allowed the bacteria to begin to erode your eyes.

>>35780498
I just woke up like this
>>35780532
I don't wear contacts

how is that robot music? those guys probably fuck qts on a daily basis , rock music cant be robot

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oj6DBi264DI

the true robot musician,BUcketheat

all he does is autistically play guitar,more than 300 albums,

>>35780820
Neil Peart is a robot who is uncomfortable with fame

Living on a lighted stage
Approaches the unreal
For those who think and feel
In touch with some reality
Beyond the gilded cage
Cast in this unlikely role
Ill-equipped to act
With insufficient tact
One must put up barriers
To keep oneself intact
Living in the limelight
The universal dream
For those who wish to seem
Those who wish to be
Must put aside the alienation
Get on with the fascination
The real relation
The underlying theme
Living in a fish eye lens
Caught in the camera eye
I have no heart to lie
I can't pretend a stranger
Is a long-awaited friend
All the world's indeed a stage
And we are merely players
Performers and portrayers
Each another's audience
Outside the gilded cage