Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7567. page

File: ausbot_oc copy.jpg (481KB, 750x800px) Image search: [Google]

481KB, 750x800px

hey robots, virgin ausbot here

i can't take it anymore, my sexual frustration has reached unbearable levels. Jerking off 4-5 times a day doesn't satisfy me anymore. Sex is all i can think about during my waking hours.

I am gotta get an escort/whore sometime in the next 24 hours, what's the best method/website/service for doing so. I'd prefer to keep it reasonably cheap but i'm not poor and might as well splash out for the first time.

Anyone other advice would be appreciated anons

Cheers m8s

File: file.png (341KB, 617x416px) Image search: [Google]

341KB, 617x416px

I know a lot of lads here have schizophrenia so get in here, I have some questions for you.

Depictions of hallucinations in fiction has always made me interested by the concept. The possibility of having direct contact with your subconscious just seems like a really useful ability. A lot of the possibilties I think about I feel can be dismissed as "you watch too much tv that shit's impossible" but it has to be, there are so many artificial limitations we have on mental ability. I mean why the fuck should we ever not be at 100% just because we're a little tired or usually for no obvious reason at all? I feel being able to communicate with your subconscious which is essentially our operating system opens the door to unlocking the master controls as it were.

So I want to know if any schizobots have ever had any experience with anything even remotely related to what I'm talking about. I guess even if it's all fantasy, at the very least be able to tell you things you can't quite remember but want to, right?

File: 1ce469ef7b7bd163543cd8fc018b728a.jpg (48KB, 480x564px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 480x564px

Can I be a good gf even though I have a penis?

File: 13078095-standard.jpg (125KB, 665x443px) Image search: [Google]

125KB, 665x443px

Does anyone (besides the cia I know you'll be there) want to go to the Oregon county Fair with me this year?

It's a chill, clean hippie festival in the forest. Apparently you can do whatever you want there and there's tons of acid apparently, insane camping parties at night.

So who's with me I don't wanna go alone

File: Enlightened.jpg (52KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 500x500px

You all complain about feels you will supposedly never have and the fact that you can't get girlfriends, but that very lack of experience is what is holding you back from enjoying life.

Here's something to think about: What if you actually do get in a relationship and you end up feeling like it''s a pain in the ass? You'd be better for it from the experience and realization that YOU should be the one who's picky when looking for a mate and not throw yourself at the feet of women in your minds.

For a board that is so misogynistic you are the most pussy whipped motherfuckers on the planet and you're still not getting any, which makes it even worse.

All I'm saying is live your lives, learn to value yourselves instead making repetitive affirmations that you "Can't do anything", "You'll never experience something" or "You can't have this or that", because if you really wanted it you wouldn't be repeating it to yourself, you'd see this a mental flaw and it's keeping you further away from what you want every time you repeat it.

File: 3aee0debce494f59e5ca7418c90e0033.jpg (44KB, 500x711px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 500x711px

I got myself one last year.
>be me
>We dated for 6 months
>I ate her out. she grabbed my dick but i froze up
>This happened 3 times on 3 different dates
>buy condoms and decide im gonna man up and do it
>night before date I get no sleep bc anxiety
>in the morning, ask her if we can postpone
>she tells me she needs somebody more reliable
>tells me i cancel too many dates because of sleep
>says it was the anniversary of her suicide attempt
>says she doesn't want a relationship with anyone
>doesn't wish to speak to me anymore

Fast forward 1 month ( today )

>call her
>blocks call
>texts me back telling me to leave her alone
>ask her if she was ok
>tells me she is seeing a med student right now at her school and tells me my body is too masculine and I make her feel terrible about herself

I want to kill myself. The first shot in almost a decade and I blow it. Not only that but atm she is getting plowed by some med student. If I had just gone on that date. If i had just taken the opportunity. She had her hands literally around my dick. This world unforgiving and cruel. And i didn't deserve her but Fuck

File: black.jpg (41KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 500x500px

anyone else think it's cringey when you compliment someone and they interpret it as if you were hitting on them, even though it never crossed your mind.

Some black chick at McDonalds was working a late shift and she had purple hair, so I was nice to her after she handed me the food and told her how nice her hair looked, and she gave me a weird look and said "Okay sir have a nice day," as if to rush me out cause I was hitting on her. I don't even have jungle fever. Do some girls just have too much of an ego? Maybe she was a special snowflake with her fucked up hair idk

File: 1446058853058.jpg (101KB, 1024x904px) Image search: [Google]

101KB, 1024x904px

What does it mean if a girl gives you that look like shes dtf. it always seems lik eit's the ones with a bf or something.
tehy're just trying to get your pants off to steal your wallet, right?

File: 1477169419130.jpg (12KB, 199x253px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 199x253px

>mom knocks on the door while i'm fapping
>pretend i'm not hearing her
>she comes in
>she sees me fapping and quickly closes the door
>yell at her for not knocking
>she says she's sorry

File: 1483951528801.jpg (22KB, 500x395px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 500x395px

>22
>Live with parents
>Don't know how to drive
>Never worked
>Never had a bank account or credit card
>Don't know how to cook anything other than instant ramen
>Don't know how to do the laundry
>Don't know how to shave

Who else /manchild/ here?

File: Screenshot_20170327-022741.jpg (199KB, 518x664px) Image search: [Google]

199KB, 518x664px

QUICK I NEED HELP

How do i fix my toliet?

So my family is asleep st it's about 2am here.

I put way too much toliet paper in and flushed, it got clogged and started to overflow and luckily I turned the water off just in time so noone woke up. So the water is off and I'm assuming there is still paper blocking it. Will plunging it make the water overflow more or will it all go down the drain and go back to normal? Sorry for being so retarded.

File: 1484749906236.png (333KB, 524x358px) Image search: [Google]

333KB, 524x358px

Why are asians and blacks the only people who feel the need to put their race in their usernames?

File: smug lain.png (1MB, 1520x1080px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1520x1080px

Solution to being bullied in school: act shy and quiet and timid but very polite when you are spoken to. Act like that at all times and people will know you as that kind of person and defend you.

>Chad starts bullying me
>His group of stacies are around too
>Look like I'm about to cry but still trying to give a weak smile
>"U-Um...I, uh..."
>Stacies get mad at chad, come over and tell me that it's gonna be okay
>One of them even hugged me

Works every time. Doesn't matter how you look, your personality will make you seem like a vulnerable but good person who needs to be protected. It might work past school and into college or work, but I don't know because I've been a NEET since finishing.

File: Screen-Shot-2016-02-09-at-16-58-47.jpg (134KB, 774x468px) Image search: [Google]

134KB, 774x468px

>try to catch father being demostically abusive to mother
>always stops as soon as I start recording
>ac always turns on because their door is next to thermostat
>tfw no evidence
>he only does it every few days
>have to wait for days before he puts his foot in his mouth again
>not going to hear anything if ac turns on
>he goes for hours in the past, but every time he does it when I get the idea to record it, he stops or you cannot hear it
ree

File: 1405299711209.jpg (10KB, 467x272px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 467x272px

>it's another "anon can't sleep and instead lies awake fantasising about having a cute gf" episode