Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7524. page

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>>35846997
how are you going to get those GBP back?

I have a similar story OP. Except it takes place at a diner.

>be me
>in my room playing GTA V with my internet friends
>mommy walks in
>"Anon, you've been good recently. You've even cleaned your room!"
>I ignore the bitch since I'm in the middle of rooftop rumble
>"So... I'll be taking you out to the diner down the street!"
>I mute my headset and look at her with joy filled eyes
>the diner had the BEST tendies I've ever had
>I shut off my computer and we drove off for the diner
>we pull up in the parking lot and I get too excited
>I begin peeing in my pants
>the bitch starts complaining but she brought an extra pair of pants just in case
>she cleaned me up and put my pants on for me
>we walked in the diner and I got a seat
>the waitress is taking forever
>I begin to get mad
>I yell out at the top of my lungs
>"HURRY THE FUCK UP CUNT REEEEEEEE"
>my mom puts her head down on the table as the waitress comes over
>everyone is staring at us but I don't care about some fucking normies
>the waitress takes me and my mom's orders
>we have to wait for like 15 fucking minutes
>mommy said that if I did that again I'd lose 100 good boy points
>I can't handle it anymore
>I scream and shout
>I let it all out
>I kick some chairs and flip our table
>I yell out the loudest "REEEEEEE" I could make
>I begin running twords the kitchen as my mommy begins crying
>the kitchen smells like heaven
>the chefs and waiters start looking at me
>I move some bitches out the way and I knock over some condiments
>that's when I see them
>my beautiful trendies
>they're in the oven
>I slam the oven door open as the glass shatters
>I grab onto the tray
>it fucking burns
>I throw the tray of tendies across the rooms as I scream in agony
>I begin to poo in my pants and one of the chefs is coming after me
>I fling my doodie at him
>he begins to vomit all over the floor
>I run twords the tendies lying on the floor and pick up as many tendies as I can with my poo covered hands

Cont.?

>some other bitches try running after me
>I kick one in the wiener and run out the back door
>I run off into the nigger ghettos as I hide behind some bushes eating my tendies
>they're so good
>after I devour my tendies my lust hasn't been relinquished
>I want more
>I try finding my way back to the diner
>in the middle of monkey town
>I notice some retarded nigger driving an escalade
>I slam open his door and fling him out with muh autism powers
>I speed off in the nog's car in search for the diner
>after 10 minutes of looking around faggot ville I spot the diner
>it's on fire
>fire trucks and policeman swarm the scene
>I notice mommy in the back of a police car
>serves that bitch right
>one of the poolice notice me
>they run twords the car
>I try backing up but I crash into a light /pol/
>I begin screening and REEing as they pull me out the car
>I get tazed
>I scream out police brutality and some nogs start yelling at the police
>while some faggot cop is trying to handcuff me I reach for my crusty poo
>I fling it at the retards face and flee off
>I bust into some autists house across the hood and hide under a bed
>the poolice start looking for me but they can't find me
>I sneakily sneak out the house and book it down the road (thanks metal gear solid 5)
>faggot cops don't have shit on me
>literally
>I notice the poolice helicopter flying above me
>spotlight fucks up my eyes
>I REEE at the helicopter
>I faintly notice a poolice car heading twords me
>I get fucking hit by the blind nigger driving
>my fat rolls slap against my face
>ouchies all over
>I cry and scream
>it takes 8 men and an elephant tranquilizer to get me down

Alright, I'll bite
What's the diarrhea dispenser?

>>35847565
It's a device that shoots out diarrhea when you press the button.

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>Mom found the smegma gun

>>35846953
we are GMOs

>>35846953
Can I feed a chick food with hormones to make her ultra thick? Purely hypothetical.

>>35846980
How are humans GMO's pls explain

>>35846949
>tfw bf has ADD but refuses to take any meds

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>medicated
>worry about getting everything you need to get done
>not medicated
>worry about everything you're probably forgetting to do
>with or without meds
>fear of not getting shit done can only be managed through checklists for EVERYTHING

>>35847192
Why not?
Is he a spaz?

>>35846905
fuck your fag shit. who is this bitch?

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>>35846905
>ywn come home after along day to qt thicc booty wifey

>>35846905
>be me last week
>spend an hour and a half in the bathtub shaving my whole body
>ass
>legs
>chest
>arms
>just washed my bed sheets too
>best fap ever

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I'm sure there are some out there

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/buttholes/

post more edible assholes

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>>35846814
may you find your waifu on the other side

>>35846840

I'm just hoping for a peaceful eternal sleep

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how long ago did you find out? how soon will you die? are you at all afraid of death?

>>35846756
I've got two. Do you want one?

>>35846777
Yes, God

>>35846807
I'll trade you for a bipolar omnivore, or just a sadgirl with an eating disorder.

No, but I know Nick Bate does, to give you the shortest possible explanation he's a convicted pedophile who's serving 16-40 years in prison for molesting his 8 year old half-sister and before he was arrested he would, very similarly to Chris-Chan, advertise his personal life and his fucked up fantasies to the world with no self awareness, e.g. nonchalantly bragging on Twitter about masturbating with his own shit and smearing it on his bedroom walls, grooming underage girls online and stalking one of them to where she had blocked him on all social media yet he was still referring to her as "Wife" in his tweets about her and writing fanfictions about Anna shitting in the woods because he believed they were getting married and she would magically stop hating him, he also went months at a time without ever showering or brushing his teeth to where his teeth were all jagged and abscessed, also literally believes that Kentucky doesn't exist and that he can time travel by drinking coffee

How can the Schizotypal be paranoid but not psychotic?

>>35846740
according to the ICD-10 description it looks like this describes me

I want to kill myself if that gives you any perspective into what it's like.

>>35846702
And you should care why?

>>35846710
She's my only friend for the last 6 years

What relationship does she have with you OP?

>>35846664
Whenever you see him/her, you get a tightness in your chest, you feel all antsy, you involuntarily start smiling, and you forget about all of the bad in the world.

>tfw I got this feeling for the first time with Marie from splatoon, then Homura from pmmm about a year later

>>35846728
Can't say I've ever felt that before. At least, from what I remember.

Do you think my parents' divorce could have potentially stunted my ability to feel love? They did it when I was 9.

>>35846757
It's very likely, you're probably emotionally shot. But don't stop looking, I never thought I'd ever feel true love. I gave up on finding the perfect gf, and turned to fiction, which has treated me much better than reality.

bumperino

can anyone give me some advice?

>>35846762
It's a sedative, you'll probably just fall asleep. 1.5 mg isn't that much but you could start with 1mg to see. Bite it and let it dissolve under your tounge if you want a faster onset

its the equivalent of 0.75mg alprazolam (xanax) in terms of strength and last longer. 1.5mg will get you high probably
have fun anon just dont do stupid shit and dont drink

Some people who enjoy smugly posting about politics on the internet are actually smart and figure out a way to do that for a living.

>>35846680
hes a kike that views gentiles as livestock.

original

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What has he said to make you think he's a smug asshole? I thought it was hilarious when he trolled all the social justice warriors at that college event. https://youtu.be/gkONHNXGfaM

I will concede though that he does look strikingly similar to the Horizon Zero Dawn protagonist.

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>2004 was 19 years ago
Y live

>>35846639
I was in my mothers womb.

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>>35846735
>kids born in 2004 will be old enough to fug in my city

Tolerating all that is fine. It's when she leaves that it hurts.

>>35846601
>you'll never see your friends again
>she'll call your friends in the middle of the night to make sure you're actually with them.
Well obviously you aren't actually with them, you never saw them again.

>friends
>obligations
>other women

lol