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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 697. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Is there a more comfy feeling then when getting a hair cut, and the girls tit rests on you?
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>tfw never been to a barber
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When they run the little razor thing on the back of your neck
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I have a man cut my hair you queer

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Has any prison gay guy had a good experience with guys in real life?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39267163
No. Guys are sexually inferior.
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>>39267163
prison gays won't enjoy experiences with guys

they are stupid, depressed losers, worse than breeders
>>
>>39267163
>tfw no experiences with guys or girls
>tfw no smol person to cuddle and fuck

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>the only way i can pay for college is by getting a student job at the college
>it is the only place that will hire me
>all the jobs involve having to deal with other students
>for minimum wage
>mfw learning about this slave system the colleges are using
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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the government is giving me money to study so i cant really relate sorry
>>
If you can put RAM in a RAM slot on a computer you can probably get a job in the IT dept re-installing windows on idiot professors' laptops without having to talk to them
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>>39267140
if you're smart, you can get paid to be there
>have future job in cybersec lined up at fbi
>they've been paying my tuition since yr 2
best internship opportunity ever

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>first day of school and I thought no one knew each other
>came to find out that everyone knows people except for me
>not a single friend
>already an outcast since day one
It's not fair
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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they all know each other from sports probably, that's what happened to me when i went to middle school that merged all the elementary schools, there was already a clique of jocks who knew each other, and also happened to be from the upper income strata, probably because those sports cost money and time that only bourgeois people had
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>>39267153
>t. weak and effeminate faggot
>>
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>>39267184
Agreed. The anon who wrote that post should die a slow and horrible death.

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Okay boys I need to ask a big question that I need some outside help to come to a decision on
Okay so first of all you need some background knowledge my dad is simply put the scum of this earth. Here are his criminal offenses ahem...Murder of 2 people(bribed his way out), credit fraud, gun id fraud, owned MANY illegal weapons, domestic abuse(of my mother), rape(possibly), made a number of illegal deals, and blackmailed people. He went to jail for 10 years for illegally owning weapons, fraud, and domestic abuse. Also he has had children with 4 different women resulting in me having 2 full brothers, 2 62.5% sisters(their mom was my moms cousin), 1 half brother and just recently another half brother. Basically he's a shitty guy. I don't know anything about him other than these things but now to get on topic for about 3 years he's been trying to call us and get in contact with us. My brothers went to go see him on the weekends but I refused because I have crippling social anxiety(I'm on /r9k/ after all). He never got to see me so now he REALLY wants to see me. He's rich so he said that if I were to go and see him he would pay for me him AND my friends to go to Valcano Bay (A really good water park. And I really like amusement parks laugh at me and call me a kid all you want idc) I've REALLY been thinking about this because this is a once in a decade kinda thing in less than a year I'm going to college and my friends would have a lot of fun to and they're REALLY good friends like known them for 8 years good friends. But I would be taking a really big shot for the team because of my previous mentioned social anxiety and my lack of trust in him and general opinion he's still a shit person. Basically what should I do, take one for the team and have fun with my friends or avoid the social tax that such a trip would put on me

>inb4 >>>/adv/
I want opinions from like minded people like me who understand how bad social anxiety is

original as shit
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39267030
I guess i'm not gonna get any luck here on /r9k/
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>>39267597
also tl;dr
very shit criminal dad wants to take me too very good water park(I like those shits) with my friends in order to see me but social anxiety is a bitch so idk
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>>39267030
>>39267597
>>39267635
Do it. social anxiety is always fucking hard to deal with and you may feel like shit half the time you're there (or more) but if you don't go out you will never get better, and probably regret it forever.

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Dang ol /r9k/ man, talkin 'bout them there masochist manchild man dang ol' ain't got no girlfriend but ain't got no housebroken neither, whew I tell you what
8 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>39266867
>this character was based on a real person
what the fuck is wrong with southerners?
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>>39266947
Y'all have the audacity to sit right dere and act all tuf n scruff over dat puter box but ain't got the calf fries to come on over ere and tell a boon or oak dat sumthin be wrong wit dem. What is yalls deal then? No answer from y'all ain't got nothing huh??
>>
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>>39266867
If you aren't a Bill Dauterive, you're on the wrong board.

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Can we have an /r9k/ music thread?

Post songs that make you feel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IKddfxkDWk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR52MIJuZJY
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
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love me some gorrilaz
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Can't copy links very well on this damn phone, but a song in particular that hits me is Pink Floyd - Coming Back to Life
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>>39266843
If this doesn't make you feel, you're dead inside

what is yoour experience with suicide hotlines?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39266798
They pretend to care just long enough to trace your call and send the police. Who then cuff you and drag you off to be locked up in a renovated jail block as if you did something terribly wrong.
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>>39266798
I only called one once. They just said not to commit suicide and then I hung up with them.

Well, technically I called two of them. The first one I called didn't pick up on me, so I called a second one since my phone was about to run out of battery.
>>
>>39266798
they dropped my call

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Why do people do this?
Wearing clothes with huge brand names?
I'd sort of understand it if the product was cheaper because you're providing free advertising, but usually they're quite expensive even.
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39266790

massive fucking logos are the worst shit to cop, 100% everywhere who wears this shit are just hypebeast faggots

>t. /fa/
>>
This takes a special kind of retard.
Don't forget to apply a pound of hair gel.
>>
>>39266790
because showing you can buy expensive things is important to normalfags

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What's your favorite band, robot? Pic Related is mine.
16 posts and 8 images submitted.
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Very originally: Slowdive.
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The Velvet Underground. Since my mid-teens.
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Sabrepulse

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>Taking black girl to prom
>Her dad takes me aside and gives me the talk
>"You have her home by eleven, no kissing, no touching, if I find out you had sex with her I will kill you"
>Sweat and nod
>Leave dime bag between couch cushions on the way out
>Go to prom
>Finger negress behind gym after, get a clumsy but ok blowjob
>Drop her off
>Call cops, tell them about the threat on my life
>They say that's not something they are going to prosecute but they can go have a talk with him
>He apparently gets defensive and angry
>They wind up searching the house and finding the weed
>He goes to prison
>I am now free to slam his daughter after school every day
>She cries constantly about her dad though
>I can't get into it when she cries so I dump her for Nintendo
>Her dad later dies in prison as a result of internal injuries from fighting
>She is a stripper and single mother living in Orlando now
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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you're not even going to try to write a believable story?
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>>39266776
Pics or it didn't happen faggot
Origin
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>>39266776
Didnt happen, but good story anon

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There is nothing I love more than cute female butthole
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Here's another cute female butthole to enjoy
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Where's all my CFB lovers?
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I had to wash my gf's butthole in the shower earlier, she looks like pic related. Her bum was sore and I had to look at it to make sure her skin was ok then sponge her down for 10 minutes

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banned for something i never posted
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>>39266548
it fucking happens, feels bad man
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>random bans being lifted from 2013
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>3 day ban for something that wasn't a rule violation

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>meet new r9k bf on r9k
>get intimate
>he has a 4 in
>every. fucking. time

fembots, share your experiences. SPs are the male roastie.
8 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>39266521
>meet bf on r9k

there's your problem, idiot.
>>
>tfw ugly but huge dick
It is pain. It'll never get any use.
>>
>>39266521
Women were made for the glory of men, not for your glory. You were made to help us. That is why we rule the world and the majority of positions of power. That is why you are dependent on us for survival and depend on our cities and infrastructure we built to give you somewhat a delusion of independence. You should be greatly a humble man has taken interest you in the first place. You are a harlot, quit being promiscuous or your creator, which is my God, will reject you and you will go to hell miles beneath the Earth to dwell forever with people who act and behave like you.

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>can only get morning wood
>can't get a boner for women
>was never able to get a boner for men

My sex life is over before it even began
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Do you jack off a lot?

When I did no-fap I would get erections in public just by seeing a girl's ass in tight pants
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>>39266472
>fap a lot whole teenage years
>can't even get a proper hard-on now

mfw
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>>39266499
Max 3 times a week

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