Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6364. page

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How do I escape my overwhelming despair?

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>you will NEVER taste dinosaur steak

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TFW you remember a hooker in a public area but she doesn't remember you

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Just looking through some old pics I've saved over the years and dug up this old gem of a screencap.
Always think back to this story whenever the term "omega" is mentioned.
Nothing really comes close to it.

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>"say anon, care to go for a dip? Im burning up out here"

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congratulations, guys. good night :)

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>Therapist: "Anon you need to get active and start exercising to get happy, also a job would help or maybe go back to school"
>Me: "How do I do those things when Im fucking depressed as all hell and have absolutely no energy or motivation to do it?"
>Therapist: "Well anon if you wanna feel better you just gotta do it lol"

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I need guidance

>moms best friend has daughter same age as me
>grow up together, inseparable as kids
>she puberties into 9.9999/10 qt3.141
>I turn into kind of person who posts here
>her group of friends bully me for a while
>got into a blow out with one of them, they mostly leave me alone now
>her dad gets riddled with cancer, her family lose house, mom invites them to move in with us "for a while"
>my room is biggest, has changing room/bathroom
>they divide my room in half with a big bookcase, and we're supposed to share a room "for a while"
>my uncle asks if its safe to have two teenagers share a room and my mom literally laughs feelsbad.cpp
>the week they move in her dad dies in hospital, she spirals into depression, barely talks, rarely goes to school, stays in bed all day
>desk built into wall, can't be moved, half on her side of the room, can't even browse my mongolian basket weaving enthusiast forum on pc when shes on her bed without her seeing it
>masturbating in peace is very difficult
>brimming with cum and hormones
>come home this afternoon
>check rooms, no one is home
>finally fucking alone
>finally
>I have literally 400 girlsdoporn videos
>start skipping through them, only stop to seek through ones with girls that look vaguely like her
>find a girl who is close enough
>thisisit.txt
>grab one of her worn shirts from the ground
>smell it while hammering away
>pop harder than I ever have
>cum overflows tissues, goes everywhere
>turn around to throw her shirt back near her bed
>shes sitting on the bed
>shes sitting on the fucking bed
>didn't see her under the covers when I came in, she didn't respond when I called out
>stand up, still dripping, run to bathroom
>throw up
>clean up
>mfw
>walk back out
>video is still playing
>cum on desk and chair
>shes still sitting up on the bed, looking at the screen
>walk out the door without saying a word
>haven't been back yet

How do I kill someone and make it look like suicide?

How do I even go home at all?

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Anyone know how to become a true emotionless robot in a quick way. I feel like i'm halfway there, but anger, sadness, and frustration still show the little humanity inside of me
>tl;dr how do i become emotionless quickly and cheap

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Is it at all realistic for me to just live on a boat in the middle of the ocean and avoid all human contact?

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How do you deal with your only friend that's a girl, is just as introverted as you, but doesn't want to date you? I've known her for 5 years now, and she's been with me even as everyone else around me left. Shes pure, and I mean that 100%, she's never had sex, never had a lasting relationship, and has never done drugs. She lives under a christian family but is more agnostic than religious. Shes white, with blue eyes. I asked her a year ago, she say no but in a really roundabout way. We hangout rarely since she lives in a town 25 minutes away from me and she does schoolwork online so she never has time. The last time we hung out, last year, we somehow had the house all to ourselves, and for some reason she was able to stay much longer than usual before getting picked up. She was 17 at the time and I was 18. Anyway, we spent the entire day and night on the couch, listening to music and watching youtube videos on my living room TV. She was a little hesitant at first, but after a while she told me "aw cmere" and we had cuddled. It'd been 3 years since i'd been cuddled from anyone since my first GF (which turned into a liberal whore that I hate now), and I had been dying for physical contact. Anyway we cuddled, and it was so fucking comforting and almost motherly in a way that I ended up in tears and said "you have no idea how much I needed this." She said "I know" and I just spent the whole time with my head nuzzled in her shoulder as she held me.

Anyway, that shit really fucking affected me. Problem is, after all that, she still didn't want to date me. We hung out again yesterday, and I wanted to try and relive that moment again but my parents were home so I couldn't. I tried to play with her hair like I did the time we cuddled but she wouldn't let me. After she left I messaged her, telling her I still really love her and all but she again told me she doesn't want to be with me, not exactly in that way but in a roundabout way again.

I don't know what to do.

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>get into heated argument

>intentionally make spelling errors and typos and type all-lower case with no punctuation to make it seem like I don't care much about what I'm defending or arguing against

>throw in plenty of "lmao"s and "kek"s

>opponent calls me a troll and gives up

>I win

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Has anyone here been diagnosed with depression?

How did it happen? I want to see my uni counsellor, show them my scars, show them my fucked up writing, my suicide plans, and some of the fucked up OC I've created. I also want to go with a letter basically describing every minor detail of the hell I've been enduring in my head from the daily 24/7 suicidal thoughts and debilitating depression. Basically show them all my power levels.

Care to share stories of how you got diagnosed with depression? And Is my plan a good idea?

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Lets get a consensus on /r9k/'s erect penises.

>Length
>Girth
>Width

Remember try to be honest and don't samefag. A consensus by the end of the thread.

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>finally try online dating
>get with this girl at a bar
>mfw she orders the "angel shot with lime" (codeword for calling the cops on me)