Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5883. page

>>36743138
i open doors with my pinky

>>36743160
That's kind of odd! How and why did you start doing that anon?

>>36743138
when i have to return short distances i move as if i was rewinding time

Okay. Do you have anything else to say?

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First screencap to prove my point

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>look at all these threads
This is supposed to be an original board. The fuck happened?
>>36743126
You fags ruined /r9k/. It used to be original and it used to have oc. Now it's just ">tfw no gf" the board

stop telling me to do stuff

>>36743100
The only one that are the losers are those who partake in the game.

>>36743119
vvhat game?

>>36743071

Did you feel it?

Proof or it didn't happen

Also if you want an hero or some shit idk maybe get therapy or something

>>36743071
kill yourself too you know..

If you can't handle the NEET life, the NEET life isn't for you

Oh and look up mamamax on YouTube if you want motivation. I'm not typing 7 paragraphs of bullshit you'll skip.

>>36743062
doesn't look too bad, mate

>>36743062
>my body would never look great
I've seen people with birthmarks that take up half their face and burn victims whose bodies look like Frankenstein's monster. That scar is nothing

>Alfie

She was a complete plank until one summer over 6th form, she developed tits.they kept growing over the years until she was a H cup

She was called Helen
Massive 36cs in HS
Grew over years to be a 38M and naturally lactated
I sucked milk from her tits when we dated. Shame she was a nutjob

>>36743113
>>36743200
Why the fuck do you pretend to know the exact cup size of random girls? They don't make this info publicly available.

>>36742961
~9 hours ago.
Mommy needed a ride home from work.

I'm a wageslave so a few hours ago desu.

April of last year after I was released from the psych ward.

>>36742904
>how does a 23 year old robot achieve this?
By getting off this board and meeting local women at uni, your job, social events, clubs, etc.

>>36742904
>how does a 23 year old robot achieve this?
By staying on this board and seeking a nice fembot

>>36742904
Nobody likes you when you're 23


Origvaginal

>>36742836
Stop watching porn and do some physical activity to build testosterone

going to need some original sauce for that

Is that Uncle Hank?

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>>36742827
>legal to sell but illegal to buy
what

>Resorting to a prostitute

I think I'd rather stay forever a virgin.

>>36742827
>Being a virgin is so socially abhorrent we should pay a soulless sex worker to pity fuck us
Sex is for love.

aaaaaaaaaand when I awoke
I was alone
this bird had flown

so
I lit a fire
isn't it good,
Norwegian wood?

>>36742822
Just shave and clear your acne and you're good

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>take the poo to the loo starts playing

Trump says media lacks credibility and professionalism
Media responds with a long winded verbal tirade of slurs and insults
Even if you don't like Trump personally or his policies, he's got a pretty good point that's practically impossible to ignore after that sort of thing.
Really not a big deal and all we all have outbursts so I really don't think any less of colbert but damn that was way too much

the world is in such a fucked up state. it seems like the media figures mostly all just want it to be worse

>implying Colbert actually wrote that joke

What the fuck are people blaming him for? He's literally an actor, they should be mad at the writers for the show.

Also, this "outrage" is contrived as fuck. So fucking what, he said Donald Trump sucks Putin's cock, how is that homophobic AT ALL?

I don't even like the guy, but this liberal outrage bullshit, is out of control.

What did Colbert say?

I eat too much
265lbs currently

>>36742769
How tall are you bud?

Copious amounts of caffeine help reduce your appetite ;3

>>36742792
I am 5'8
I doubt that would work

Jokes on you, we only have each other and no friends

>>36742753

Get yourself manic stalker friends like me and I promise I won't go after your gf. My desires are set in stone, I'm still chasing the girl I loved 3 years ago, and I don't even have a cease and desist yet

Men can be untrustworthy, but women are not trustworthy. They won't get anywhere unless the wife/gf consents, but there's an instinctive lack of faith in her ability to remain steadfast. Men would rather take out their fury on the guy his wife/gf cheated with than on the cheating wife/gf herself.

>>36742743
>robot
an insult. No one wants to be a robot.
>Chad
Compliment. Literally the perfect human specimen. Women want to be with him and men want to be him.
>virgin
Insult. Only used by jaded cumdumps to make unsuccessful men feel alone. Women allow men into them, they aren't the ones hunting. Virgin women are rare to find in real life., so if used against a woman, it could be either an insult or compliment... women really do value having sex, even on easy mode.
>normie
An insult for use by robots for robots. any normal person wouldn't be here. Something had to go wrong in your life for you to end up here.

>>36742783
fpbp
Originally accuratee

>>36742783
>No one wants to be a robot
Blatantly false. Being a robot is a choice.