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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5803. page

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>was a virgin up until I was 30
>finally started the online dating thing
>ended up dating some woman the same age as me
>kinda good looking, 7/10
>knew she'd had sex with plenty of guys before, figured i should just accept it and settle because every woman my age had baggage and it might be my only chance to have a real relationship
>end up getting married, own home together
>both work full time, neither of us wants kids, sex twice a week

I thought this kind of life would bring me happiness. Why do I still feel so shit? Why do I still hate my life, why does it feel so unsatisfying?
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Because you married a woman out of desperation, not love.
>>
Because having other people in your life won't fix you. See a therapist and work your shit out before you ruin everything.

Related

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/problems
>>
You're a man, and other people can't make you happy. Only you can do that for yourself, on your own terms.

If a man can't be happy alone on a deserted island with just a cave, bananas and coconuts, a few palm trees, and sand, then he can't be happy in any situation.

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>Wow anon, you're a virgin? Haha, that's so cute! You're lucky, I wish I was still a virgin.
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>tfw I have heard women actually say this shit
No shit you wish you were still a virgin you dumb slut men and woman are not the same and virginity is valued in women
>>
If people are going to make these roleplaying greentext threads they should at least post shit that human beings would actually say.
>>
I've been told this before, minus the cute part. Normies seem to think its so cool that I'm a virgin, although deep down they probably pity me.

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Yo who else have been actuality v& and have it ruin you life that all you do is drink as a ' functional" (())) alcoholic that cant deal with real life, here.
39 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>36786271
How and why'd you get V& anon? What happened? How long were in for?
>>
>>36786284
This. Greentext it OP
>>
>>36786271
How long were you in for?

I'm literally aryan and a spic stole my crush.

pic related, im at least a 9.5/10 and get rated 10s by stacies on reddit all the time, what the fuck is wrong with this world? is the media brainwashed or something? i want to go to 1940 germany and have a qt jew slave but i cant
24 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>36786200

I know those feels bro ;-;

tfw the jew stops me from my rightful stacy
>>
>>36786200
hope that's not you...
>>
Fuck off to the_donald or /pol/ masterracefag

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> never was good at getting girls
> starting to run out of options and scared of the forever alone
>only girl I had somewhat of a relationship with was 4 years ago
> things were great til she moved a thousand miles away (big country life)
> haven't talked to her since
> still loverher
> have moved to same state since we last met because dad got a new job
> try to find out what happened to her
> looked up a few days ago that she is now in jail til september

Should I pull the trigger and bring her back under my wing robots? I work as a electronic repairs shop owner that makes decent salary every year.

I also have hope for her.
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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why is she in jail?

oregano
>>
Do not try to revive a relationship with a highschool crush. It's beyond pathetic and you (more likely she is) are vastly different people.
>>
>>36786202
possession of adderall

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HOW THE FUCK DO I END DANDRUFF

I just want to have a clean scalp that doesn't snow on my desk
53 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>36786097
Wash all the shampoo out of your hair when you shower. Don't leave residue behind that irritates the scalp.
>>
>>36786097
Have you tried conditioner after you shampoo
>>
literally just oldspice/head and shoulders wash you retard

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>at mcdonalds
>go on the touch menu
>order 3 sausage and eggs, 1 pack of pancakes and a large chocolate sundae
>pay for it
>don't get the ticket
>the fuck
>order number doesn't even pop up on the screen
>keep looking at the receipt scanner thinking it'll come out
>cashier comes along with order 115
>go get it
>has everything I ordered
>walk back home

>police car stops half an hour after leaving mcdonalds
>ask if I've been to mcdonalds today
>they start asking what time, what I ordered, how I ordered
>what the fuck
>one of the workers checked the security cameras when I left
>they think I stole the order
>now getting charged for stealing from myself

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36786047
cant b real m8
>>
>>36786047
You did pay with a credit card, right?

You have a record that you paid them, now you can sue them for slander.
>>
if they have checked the security cameras, they saw you paying it.

try harder

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Tfw nobody loves you

Not parents, no siblings, no mentors, 1 girl whom forgot about you, 1 girl who you fucjrd uevethibg up eith, no friends

Can we be here for each other right now senpai
13 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Ok but my parents and siblings love me they make sure to (annoy) remind me every single day even though I moved out 5 years ago PLEASE STOP CALLING AND TEXTING ME
>>
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I love you anon, you matter to me. I hope you are okay, it would upset me if something happened to you
>>
>>36785950
You just sound like a schizoid who doesn't want love

It's just a saying in their case most of the time but they probably do. It's still not really that big of s deal senpai

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How fucked are you when your 4chan history becomes accessible to all? I've posted my dick at least 100 times and gone into excruciating detail about my degen porn. Also everyone would be very confused if I'm straight or gay
23 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36785889
Implying anyone would care enough to look at your history.
>>
I've been a real asshat
>>
>>36785889
you've got that problem where you think anyone gives a shit about you. must be rough. grow up.

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Have you grown up with an abusive family?


Last night thread was a good way to talk and pass time and other anons may have stories.
36 posts and 5 images submitted.
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To start it off I was sexually abused by my older sister when I was in around first grade. That kept up for a year or so (don't really recall) and after that she turned to bullying. Both verbal and violent. Single parent household, shockingly, and my mom never really stopped her. It was an open fact that she resented me. Possibly because my old man beat her but not me. I was around 2-6 when this all happened so if I really was the mastermind behind it, I don't remember it.
Being a bit over four years older than me, you can imagine it didn't take a ton for her to do whatever she wanted.
Due to her and schools turning heavily ghetto, I ended up trying to off myself at 12. Spent a month inpatient and six months in outpatient. Every morning I had to say "I'm anon and I'm here for depression and thoughts of suicide". I eventually dropped out of school for 7th and 8th grade with my mom failing to keep a home school project up for me. I ended up going back for highschool.


The one time I hit her back was in San Antonio. In the Alamo, surprisingly. I can't remember if I was 12 or 13, but the place was packed like sardines. She pushed me since I was the one in front and could only move as fast as the person in front of me. After pushing me, something gave. I turned around and punched her square on the jaw. I think I even busted her lip. She was speechless. My mom took me and a friend of the family took her to cool off and debrief on what exactly happened. My mom said that she was proud of me for standing up for myself.

I remember the Alamo.
>>
>>36785860

Daddy0five is such a worthless human being. Same with his wife. I've met people like that in real life, they're so fucking worthless. His wife is so ugly, she doesn't even look like a human. And he looks like an angry retarded child molester.

And 700k normies watched his shitty channel where he harasses his kids. What a piece of shit.
>>
>>36787104
you don't know his audience were normies
I woulsn't classify him or his wife as normal

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Is there any youtuber more vapid and useless than this basic whore?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8T3qoBjzRMs
86 posts and 16 images submitted.
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She's a fucking whore because she won't fuck me.
>>
>>36785837
She kinda reminds me of boxy so i watch her videos on mute.
>>
>more vapid and useless
There's literally billions

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>Decide to get my mommy a phone for mother's day because she's never had a cell phone
>And she's a fantastic mommy who always loved me and made me tendies
>Father finds out that I bought mommy a phone
>He starts screaming at me, telling me that she doesn't need a phone, that I'm wasting my money, blah blah
>He says that I'm only wasting my money because I hate him
>Tell him that he's right and I do hate him
>Later on he needs help with his cell phone (he's completely retarded, has had his phone for over a year yet still has trouble with the most basic of shit like silencing his phone)
>Give him the silent treatment
>He's completely clueless as to why I'm not speaking with him
>He tries to figure it out while he's in the bathroom
>Drops his phone in the sink, phone is water damaged
>blames me
>My sister tells him to put it in rice
>Father takes it out of the rice after 2 minutes because he's retarded
>Says he needs a new phone
>I'm a phone salesman in the local store he has purchased all his cellphones in
>I'm literally going to make commission off of him being an asshole

Thank KEK.

KEK giveth and KEK taketh away. Father was telling me how my mom doesn't need his phone, less than 15 minutes later
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36785783
>less than 15 minutes later
his phone is fucked up by water in the sink
>>
please respond guys i put effort into this green text
>>
>>36786025
Be patient.
All comes in due time.

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My teenage cousin posted this to her Facebook of her and her friend. I guess they don't mind everyone seeing their tight little butts
42 posts and 4 images submitted.
>>
They don't. To them this is nothing more than a silly picture to show their friends. They have no idea that one of their relatives is a sick depraved individual with nothing better to do with his time than to oggle underdeveloped family members like a fucking creep.

See, they're innocent like that.
>>
>>36785795
FLAT

nothing good about a flat butt
Flat tits can be amazing but a flat ass is just a genetic failure
>>
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>mfw OP saved this image off of Facebook
>mfw Facebook sends a notification to her that OP downloaded this photo

coitus is for procreation, not recreation
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Then explain traps.
>>
>>36785625
Traps are not peopIe
>>
Coitus is for both procreation and recreation. In its core, the marital act is procreative and unitive.

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Is there anyway to pop this without it scarring? It's really grossing me out tbqh
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
gently squeeze it so the skin gets taunt
then poke it with hot needle
???
enjoy zit goo spraying everywhere
>>
>>36785638
I don't own any needles. Will the tip of a box cutter work?
>>
get a pistol to shoot it off

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