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>your phone starts ringing
>Its your GF
>She is in the U.S. while youre on a business trip in europe
>You answer and hear loud moaning
>"F-Fuck tyrone your cock is so huge! Go faster!"
>in the back you hear "YEA BITCH DIS COCK BETTA THAN THAT CRACKAS DICK HUH?"
what do?
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>>36825228
Hijack the plane and pic related
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>>36825228
>having a gf
Das a good joke.
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>>36825228
immediately begin to record the phonecall, take all the money from our joint bank acc, and live in EU for the rest of my life, sending the audio to everyone I know
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THIS IS A NORMIE BOARD NOW
ROBOTS GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT
GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
ITT: we talk about our relationships with our loving partners.
>tfw my gf claimed the tv and is watching Greys Anatomy while I browse my trusty /r9k/
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>>36825170
ugh.... just stop. you're not funny, and you're not welcomed
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My girlfriend is learning Spanish while I'm grabbing her thick-as-fuck thighs and posting on /r9k/.
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>>36825170
>he says while posting a pic of a dollfie dream figure
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I don't find twerking sexy and don't understand it.
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>>36825130
You're right. It just looks retarded, especially if it's some niggress throwing her body around.then again I have like no sex drive so maybe I'm just retarded
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I think girls who wear leggings are disgusting, all I can think about is how much sweat those collect and how much pop is getting stuck to it if they're not wearing underwear.
Looks trashy as fuck.
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>>36825130
It looks like an epilepsy crisis, never got it either. Floppy asses are also super disgusting.
>>36825850
Same opinion.
Skirts and dresses are the cutest things a girl can wear.
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Fembot here. I'm getting increasingly more worried about my anal addiction. I've been rubbing my anus since I was 8 and as far as I can recall it's always felt so good for some reason. I don't know why.
I'm 21 now and while I don't feel much pleasure from stimulating my clit, I finger my ass daily and it makes me pee myself in pleasure. I'm afraid that if I ever get a shy robot bf he will feel awkward and think I'm a weirdo... ;_;
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>>36825071
Thats pretty hot. Post tits and timestamp.
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>>36825071
Sounds fine with me.
Just continue doing what you're into and don't let others push you away from your pleasure
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You're most likely lying, but-
There's nothing wrong with that. How you masturbate doesn't affect anyone else. If a guy doesn't like you because of how you pleasure yourself, he's not good enough for you.
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Robots! Guess the language spoken in this short clip
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1dZlmw3HE9u
The winner gets the rarest PEPE or Wojak of all time.
Also make your own clips and let us guess.
Let the games begin
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>>36825042
ISIS MY ANSWER IS ISIS,gimmie gimmie
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>>36825042
I wanna say that it's russian
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>>36825042
original portuguese?
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I am officially a 26 year old virgin
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>>36825000
Cheer yourself up, only 4 more to become a wizard!
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>>36825000
How tall are you?
Originally speaking.
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>>36825000
congratulations. Just 4 more years to go
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Who else is drunk again ?
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slipped back
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i haven't drank in 82 days man if i can do it so can you. I believe in you!!!
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>ever letting your blood alcohol level below 3%
>why even not even
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Post tinder qts
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>>36824932
Lucky for me, I stab animals to death THEN pose with them
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>>36824946
fucking savage.
>>36824932
how is that a cutie, she's a cringe machine.
>those attention whoring piercings
>that choke me daddy necklace
>the fact that she wears all black, coupled with the last two just shows the fact that she has daddy issues
>going by the picture I assure she smells like ass
>that much stuff on her face just says "look at me I'm special!"
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berry berry qt
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Have You Ever Had a Business Idea?
Not like Microsoft or PayPal, but something more simpler. Like the guy who invited Pizza Delivery.
Any story? Post a idea, anything that come to your mind, you could be a hidden genius.
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Nobody? This is the most original thread in years!
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>>36824931
I wish there was a way to make fireworks not loud or some dog device dogs don't hear it
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Yeah but I'm not posting it here for you fags to steal
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Which side of the fence are you on?
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>>36824901
The "not interested" side.
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>>36824901
The hetero one
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I like girls (female).
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I spent the whole day doing nothing. It passed faster than a speeding bullet.
What did you do today, anon?
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>>36824900
Studying semiotic for college and contemplating suicide.
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>>36824900
what would a slowpoke bullet be like
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>>36824900
Played runescape all day while watching one and a half seasons of mad men.
Thank god summer brake started and can do nothing for the next 3.5 months
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So I'm thinking of hiring an escort. Anyone got any tips?
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>don't get arrested
>don't get robbed
>don't bareback her
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>>36824684
don't do it. good luck.
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>>36824767
I think the last one is a given.
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>unpopular /r9k/ views
I think you can have a gf/bf and still be a robot. Being a robot is about social awkwardness and not fitting in with the normies. there are plenty of robots that fit this description, it makes sense if they would start dating.
this only counts if youre dating a fellow bot, if you date a normie then you're a normie.
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>>36824606
My unpopular opinion is that you don't have to be a virgin to be a robot, because it doesn't count if you lost your virginity to a hooker, or in a one night stand to a slut. Robots aren't robots because they can't have sex, but because they can't have relationships. Think about it, not getting sex is not as devastating as not having a gf, and anyone can just hire a hooker anyway. Of course this means that people who have or had gfs still aren't robots.
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>>36824606
if you're a "robot" who fits in with other "robots" to the point of being able to gf one of them, I've got bad news for you /reddit9k/
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>>36824606
Wish I found a fellow bot
Anonymous
Are Vidya and the internet the real reasons we're robots? 2017-05-06 10:26:34 Post No.36824603
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Are Vidya and the internet the real reasons we're robots? 2017-05-06 10:26:34 Post No.36824603
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Are Vidya and the internet the real reasons we're robots?
Anonymous
2017-05-06 10:26:34
Post No. 36824603
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Think about it, if we weren't addicted to Vidya and sitting on the computer all day, we would be /fit/ and be forced to go out because what else would you do? We would find other Hobby's which would certainly be more productive and we would be forced to socialize or read books in order to gather information. Porn wouldn't be as easy to access so you can't even save a pic of your oneitis for you to bust to or x ray, making it more likely for you to approach her.
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I'd be sat mindlessly watching reruns of shitty tv shows.
I'd feel even lonelier because I wouldn't even have internet friends.
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>>36824603
no we wouldn't be fit. I'd just be watching tv,probably playing with toys,and hanging out in a fort.
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>>36824603
Obviously, if I wasn't exposed to the internet when I was only 8, I would have kept reading books and being outside. I was captivated by the internet and there was no going back. But I prefer this existence. Once I find a lifestyle that involves as little normie interaction as possible, I'll be in bliss. Until that day, I'll wallow in misery and regret.
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How much are you supposed to pay for chinese food?
>ordering takeout
>first time since parents usually do it
>nam man speaking incoherently on phone
>oregano thought he said nagasaki at one point
>get food
>23 fucking dollars
What the fuck. Is this how much its supposed to be or did I get gooked
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I've spent anywhere between $6 and $70. Rally depends on portions and quality.
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>ordering on the phone instead of through an online form
this is what you get faggot
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>>36824599
you didn't include ANY fucking details, so yea 23 sounds "right"