Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 536. page

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>tfw no gf with a big fat gut

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ITT: fastest you have seen someone fuck up their life

I'll get the ball rolling

>be me
>cousin just turned 21
>cousin is a bit of a retard but pretty nice so I don't mind him
>to celebrate, he buys a handgun (AZGunLaws.exe) and decides to get smashed later with some of his coworkers
>instead of going to a bar like a normal person he just buys a fuckload of cheap whisky and goes home
>decide to go with him for luls
>after he gets sufficiently drunk, decides to order pizza
>rings Papa Johns and basically screams "meatlovers" into the receiver for like a minute
>being the nice guy I am I call them again and place a real order
>DingDong.mp4
>cousin goes off to door but grabs his handgun off the dresser on the way
>wtf
>we didn't try to stop him because he hadn't bought ammo & it wasn't loaded so I didn't think he could do any harm
>opens door, waves gun in pizza guy's face and manages to slur out something like "drop the pizza"
>pizza guy, wisely, drops the pizza, books it back to his car, and GTFOs
>we all laugh our drunk asses off, eat the pizza and eventually disperse
>the next day he gets arrested
>NoDuh.gif
>being brought up on armed robbery, which apparently can get you 10 years or more with no chance of parole until you serve at least half of that
>mfw 10 years for a $7 cheese pizza

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>be me
>mid-30s
>never had friends, never felt like I needed any (thought i would burden others with being around them due to how i can be)
>only living relative is my sickly brother
>had my own online business that I ran from home
>didn't make much, made enough to get by in my apartment and to pay for my brother's medical bills
>about 2 months ago fire breaks out in my apartment
>freak accident, not due to anything I did wrong
>lose everything, all computers, notebooks, and files
>I have always been extremely paranoid
>never saved anything online or in cloud
>always wrote all passwords, e-mails, and log-ins into my notebook which I organized extremely well as to never get hacked
>all passwords and e-mails were randomly assorted numbers and letters with no rhyme or meaning
>lost access to everything when fire burned it all
>rewind to about 2 weeks ago
>brother needed big surgery
>had to choose between using the last of my money to re-open my business or pay for his medical bills
>chose to pay for his bills
>surgery went though
>last week he committed suicide and left a note saying he felt like he burended me too much
>now I have no money as it was spent on surgery and my online business can no longer be restarted due to my having no money
>think i might just end it all soon
>help me

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>a man with feminine looks, feminine fashion sense, and a dominant personality

How does society react to someone like this? Could a person like this pull a decent amount of pussy?

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Goodbye NEETdom and goodbye existential suffering. Just accepted a $75k job offer. No more weeks of only eating ramen and eggs
Are you guys excited for me?

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>be me, 5'6
>see shit every day on social media, shows I watch, 4chan, etc using the word 'manlet' and pretty much calling me inferior because of something completely genetic
>can't even try to challenge it because if I do, ill just have 'short man syndrome'
>go to therapy because of it, and the first thing the therapist tells me is 'you're a pretty small guy'

considering ending it desu. I feel genuinely inferior and like there's no way to get away from it

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>develop crush on qt waitress / clerk
>make sure to read her name tag / ask her name
>go home and log onto fake facebook account
>search her name and narrow location
>save every self photo of she's ever posted, been tagged in
>read her timeline, learn friends and family
>visit their profiles, save photos of her they've posted (this often takes hours)
>create a folder with a fitting yet unrelated code name
>move all saved photos into it
>connect to my server
>leave tabs open on her profile and the profiles likely to post new photos of her
>check the photo alerts from then on, saving new content to her code folder

So far I've planted 37 flowers in my love garden. Only requirement is they have to be of legal age and more attractive to me than vanilla celebrities are. Boyfriends, undesirable personalities, reasonable deformities (lost limbs), tattoos are all negligible as I can digitally remove them over time. I should note I won't share any of these photos as if any ingredients become self aware or upset with me, it could alter my attraction and pose a systematic threat to my entire body of work. The biggest obstacle comes once the planting is over and the harvesting has become sufficient. I've been mapping their bone structure and measurements, skin tones, iris patterns and hair quality among other things, and documenting them in their respective files. Comparing the results shows a diverse, yet overall consistent attraction criteria.

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Was anyone ever going to tell me that a girl's fuck hole and urethra are two different holes?

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I'm out of money, robots. I've leeched my parents of all they're capable of giving, I don't qualify for NEETbux, and I can't hold a job. The clock is ticking before I get evicted and die on the street like a dog.

What's the least painful way to commit suicide for less than $100? I'd prefer not to leave a mess.

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Anyone here convinced that they cannot get lonelier than they are now?

I mean for myself, I'm a Uni dropout (4th year sigh) and a NEET. Didn't make friends in Uni or Highschool. Never had a job. Also never used the normie social sites and apps.

In steam I have like 10 friends who I never talk to. I don't play online games at all. I don't play video games anymore. My family doesn't talk to me. So its just me in a dark room.

I don't even post on 4chan anymore, just browse it. This might be my first post in months. I just don't know. No one knows my birthday, no one knows anything of me and they don't bother cause they don't even know I exist. My perception of life is what I see in random youtube videos. I simply have no interaction with other humans. I just wanted to know if someone else feels the way I do.

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Post your honest confessions

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>be me
>about 2 months ago
>homeless for a few days
>decide fuck it, lets hang out with an anon
>we meet, lets me shower and gives me a bed for a night
>asks to cuddle
>"w-well ok"
>extremely_aroused.png but too tired to think about it
>next morning, we talk about robot shit
>traps come up and asks if he can dress me up in a schoolgirl outfit
>"I-I mean I guess so"
>takes a few pictures and says im cute
>I leave shortly after

I had the opportunity to be fucked in a schoolgirl outfit and I didn't take it. I think about this often and i'm seriously considering suicide now.

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ITT: we try to cheer each other up with normie stuff

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How do I cure my WASP addiction? They're just so cute hot and rich

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Ciara v2.0