Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5267. page

>>37228305
F amoebanon

you're an idiot
the bad news is you can't die from ignorance

>>37228350
why am I an idiot? I'm in the one of the states it's most common, not that it isn't rare.

http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/23/health/brain-eating-amoeba-florida-teen-survives/

>>37228253
When I was 12 I wasn't near as confident as I am now. Had alot of lady friends but always was afraid to take the next step, especially because I had the feeling that my next gf would be the first to learn my kink.

This goth girl moved with her mother to my small town, let's call her Lexi. she stayed off on her own and seemed like a bitch. she had a great rack for as young as we were and jet black everything which really turned me on. She would sit and read anime every class and refuse to do any work.

I ended up talking to her about a Manga she was reading, maybe inuyasha, but we hit it off and I got her number. Through alot of friends convincing me to, I asked her out and she said yes.

Moving things along...I used to go to her house every weekend. Her mom laid in bed all day cuz she was morbidly obese, her aunt wandered around the house cooking for herself and the fat mom and lexi's cousin stayed in his room so we would stay upstairs in her room all day and not be bothered.

She loved giving blow jobs more than anything and I never told her about my Ballbusting kink but she hit me in the balls once when we were fooling around and I didn't act negative about it so I think she got the message. She wasn't like what I have now though, she would bite, squeeze knee and kick me in the balls for fun or to get what she wanted from me regardless if I wanted it or not.

Fast forward more, lexi became crazy. She wouldn't let me have lady friends, she always accused me of cheating. And her Ballbusting was turning severe. So I went home after school and broke up with her via text.

>>37228266

For a month after she would choke me at school and attack me, my friends held her off me best they could. Then when I was talking to my new girlfriend in the hall Lexi ran up and kicked me in the balls so hard I fainted. Waking up in the office I learned she was expelled for ten days, then she was moved to Alt. Ed. Then my family started offering money to anyone who would attack her. She ended up moving off to live with her dad.

I don't deal with her today but my wife's cousin is good friends with her. Apparently she still hates any girl I talk to and wishes me a slow and painful death or a lifetime of suffering

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To avoid all the reading, I date a goth chick from a shitty home. She went crazy and got herself kicked out of town

I just want to impregnate as many women (females) as possible to be quite frank

>>37228145
You didn't have to mention you were a virgin. Your most made it apparent enough.

>>37228145
Yeah but I don't think they could every truly love me back.

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attractiveness class war when?
BETA UPRISING WHEN?

i wanna put my peepee in her pusy

Promotional models make on average $40,000 a year, how Jessica does it per month is crazy

It's pretty gay. I can't think of a more feminine hobby than gardening.

I used to be 6'5, 280lb of shredded muscle. I fucked different girls every single night and I never paid for drinks at bars because the owner would always be impressed with how fucking manly I was. I had it all, the motorcycle, the big bangin house, 65" flatscreen, bigass couch for all the boys to come lounge and watch football on, a 12 inch cock.

Then one day I accidentally touched a plant. My dick shrank to the size of an acorn, my knees went weak as I shrank an entire foot, all my muscle turned into pasty flab and my chest grew sad little tits. My balls shrank to the size of jelly beans, and all my clothes became pink lace. My asshole started sucking inwards with the force of a small planet, jamming itself as full as possible with as many dicks as it could find.
Before I knew it my sad little dick was spewing its sterile jizz all over and I was moaning like a whore.
Don't end up like me. Don't touch plants. It's gay.

>>37227911
Well yes its very gay, gardening is feminine as hell man, I mean a man if he plants acres of corn is farming thats fine but a man gardening no thats 100% gay

>>37227597
if you kill yourself now you won't get to see drumpf impeached in july

>>37227610
who fucking cares
the world could burn or all diseases could be cured, my life will still be shit

Do it, you pussy. Also post a video. I haven't fapped yet today.

just hit 20 a week ago, shits getting real fast I dont even have a job yet and im gettin married in august

>>37227538
I feel you brother, I'm turning 21 in a few weeks and I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing

>>37227538
>>37227571
>>37227592
You babbies have no idea of the pain yet to come. I'm almost 22 and still here.

season two when?

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>>37227438
Disgusting. But here's a cute trap anyway.

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>>37227524
?
Originally accusing the robot

>>37227236
>BE A MAN AND PUSH THAT TRIGGER
I bet it would cause a system failure in her roastie brain.

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>>37227273
>OMG DID YOU SERIOUSLY CALLED ME MAN YOU WHITE MISOGYNISTIC CIS SCUM??

I'm glad you're taking careful aim at point blank
wouldn't want to miss, bet you don't even have a bullet in the gun goddamn
and point that shit up at my eyes bitch

>>37226937
because it makes me look cool. im not joking either

>>37226974
I always assumed it calmed nervousness....

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>>37226937
lung cancer then death duh dumbass its like why do people become alcoholics it to speed up death and escapism

>>37226761
the text was already made me super glad, and the rikka just made me feel even better, thanks anon

No thanks OP I think I'm gonna kill myself

If only I wasn't too much of a pussy

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To find a what
A WHAT
Please Rikka tell me I want to be happy too.

/pol/ is the only unbiased reputable source of news.

>>37226754
>unbiased

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>>37226730
>Where do you get your news

I trust nintendo

>>37226597
glad you got her anon, i hope your couple will last long :)

now, get out ! >:(

My LDR worked out. It's been a year.

findre...?

>>37226567
You could start by realizing virginity is a meme and you're being a tremendous faggot.

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>>37226868
What are you talking about? I don't care about some abstract concept like virginity I have a biological urge to release my semen in female orifices and by having this urge supressed I am in extreme physical and mental anguish.

Whenever I have one of those reoccuring revelations that I'm wasting my life on my computer instead of spending it with women having sex I remember almost immediately that I'm unable to have regular PIV sex and basically, the choice has been made for me so then I calm down. I was never meant to have a normal life, and there's no point in worrying about it because I simply don't have that option of being in a normal relationship.

>>37226268

Just pretend you're gay.
You'll get to do everything you just listed.

>>37226376
Nah, I think that is a meme.

I wonder are women naturallyy lesbians?
Researchers have found out that straight women get turned on when wathing lesbian porn, whereas straight men don't get turned on while watching gay porn