Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5061. page

Ask her what she thinks of you. Shes a fucking cunt

>>37258299
Huh I'm kinda surprised they would program something like that

Try asking for a blonde joke, that should be fairly politically correct maybe

>>37258344
Same answer. She's a real stick in the mud.

>>37258220
you're fucking retarded mate.

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>>37258220
(CONT)
>back on my elementary school's pre-k/kindergarten playground
>smell of crayons, glue peeling off my fingers, wood chips, stucco, trikes, the flavor of otter pops and those rainbow popsicles with the layers (had forgotten those existed, too), blue cots, napping
>huh
>suddenly get this weird, pink feeling in my chest and body and hands and remember the faces of girls on the playground; hear their voices like they're right there
>butterfly kisses
>"HAY AAANON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A GIRL?"
>"HAAAY ANON, HAVE YOU EVER FRENCH KISSED? IT'S WHERE YOU STICK YOUR TONGUE IN HER MOUTH."
>the delicate sensation of a fucking tongue in my mouth and a less vivid recollection of spit
>genuinely not sure if my brain was pulling that sensation from kisses I got later or if I somehow flashed back to french-kissing that far back
>seriously thought I didn't get my first kiss until I was like 15, but sweet Jesus, that was vivid and now it's fucking with me
>flash back to borderline sexual play and actual sexual feeling and literal playing doctor with that plastic stethoscope
>little girl ass, skirts, scraped knees and hands, snaggletoothed laughter
>scent of piss and pre-k bathroom

What the actual fuck WAS that? Seriously, what happened? Jesus Christ.

This one's actually messing with my head.

>>37258255
you're just imaging this shit, ya dumb cunt.

Is there a reason you can't go to the doctor?

>>37258209
Clean it, disinfect it. Wait. If symptoms persist, seek medical advice.

Nigga you will unironically lose your foot and possibly your life if you don't treat that infection.
I am not fucking with you.

uh oh...

looks like...

...I'm seein' more of my old man in me.

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>>37257993
Dumb failed normalfag gets a pickup and thinks it's right to "share his success" (read: gloat) here. I hope once your relationship goes sour again you kill yourself out of anguish.

>>37258048
>uh oh...
>looks like...
>...I'm seein' more of my old man in me.
This

>>37257977
>>tfw brown anus
lewd and hot
tfw no gf who's self-conscious about her anus
it makes it better if you're more embarrassed about it

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If you're not a trap, we can deff bleach it. :D

>>37257977
Anus is an anus no matter what color it is so post it

ps4 switch and 3ds. pretty comfy combo I find

Same, bought one the last week after not playing video games for years.
Playing battlefield 1 right now what about you?

>inb4 pc fags shit up this thread

>>37257986
Battlefield 1 is shit bf4 is better.
I mostly play Skyforge now but I'm waiting until tomorrow for Friday the 13th

Because our judgment is superior.

Do you ask the cat why it meows?

>>37257892
yes true.
but its not even that. they dont need to cesot things or czll jokes sexist.
all they need to do is to be present.you got me ?
i mean 7 guys of 10 will change thier behavior and mindset when the girl is present.
when this happens exvept the worst :
giving here all the attention.
orbiting her.
white knighting her.
doing her one sided favors.
etc. it will take 80% of the time. they will get no puss no fun.
the best the 3 guys can do is
ban her.
tell her to fuck off.
shock her.
block her.
trigger (anger her).
this will take only few seconds.

in conclusion,indeed women had been left loose to infiltrate any man group activity. what is left is videogames and they are trying hard to shame men who play video games and not cower to thier pussy needs.
I heard an overwhieght 16 yr old telling her friends she want to join the army ! like comon wtf, they are useless, only placefor them is nursery, (and thats good for themif they know) . women are useless in the army for many reasons,biological,physiological,psychological. women that fight exist but they are rare, super rare.
glad you are woke, OP.

thats what i thought before i started uni.

Now 8 months later i have made tons of friends

>>37257835
Learn how to act. Observe other people, especially Chads.

I've become pretty good at acting like a Chad despite clearly not being one.

>>37257835
you go to the bars

>you failed at life because girls don't like you

beta as fuck my man

nice pasta m8

hoes on my dick cuz I look like Jesus

>>37257477
http://www.jenkemmag.com/home/2014/07/14/an-interview-with-callum-paul-about-peeing-in-his-mouth/
>Do you think the whole picture and incident got blown out of proportion?
>Yeah it's just a joke but I think people took it pretty seriously. They don't understand the comedy in the situation I guess.

A straya, of course.

>NO ONE who can stand in your way
What about another beta who has replaced their negative qualities with fitness and skill in combat?

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>can't even be bothered to get out of bed
>JUST BE A LION LMAO

>>37257368
what if you're too worthless to fight anything?

My mom had two kids and still can't cook. When I lived with her it was all instant crap. A week on my own and I'm a fucking master chef lmao.

I'm a male btw. I think women suck at cooking.

microwaved garbage and soda

Yesterday I made brown rice noodles with cranberry mayonaisse sauce and feta cheese. The noodles stuck together and the sauce coagulated into one ball, which was promptly discarded. Better luck next time.

I prefer children screaming

>>37256991
Yes.

>>37257059
children doing anything pisses me off t b h. I hate kids.

>>37256991
only gagging tbqh

>be me
>hardly feel anything
>can't recognize myself in the mirror
>sometimes flip out by seeing my own arm only to realize it's mine
>feel like I'm the protagonist in a video game
Are any of these symptoms?

>>37257355
I'm asking you, OP >>37256918.

>>37256918
>tfw spent teenage years smoking weed, not going to school, not engaging in anything social and thinking too much
yeah, i have it and it sucks

>>37256780
Also is this even a real thing? Or some /x/ meme.

>>37256780
When I was a little kid I used to have the same nightmares over and over, and at some point, when dreaming, I realized I was dreaming and could control it. Stopped having nightmares around then.

I find it very difficult to fly when I lucid dream. It's like trying to grab the remote by the force irl.

>>37256689
Same. Do t forget natty hair

White, petite, medium to big boobs, pink nipples, not fat. Straight teeth and a cute voice are a must.

Generally independent, doesn't need much attention. She can fuck other guys for all I care. Likes to laze around, be naked and do drugs.

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>>37256689
Thick black girl who acts white and isn't ghetto or aggressive and is very nice and sweet

Would fuck for the rest of my life and have alpha mixed babies with