Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4051. page

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Do you always go through people's files? Do you save things for yourself? What are some interesting/strange things you found? How much porn do people usually have?

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is golden era of chad vs virgin finished?
can good OC be created again?

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Where do I find rich western man to escape Islam/run with? They're forcing me to get married this year to who knows who

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>Be me
>be 2017 april
>be 17
>work at small store
>kids keep asking for fidget spinners
>I have to put sign out saying we dont sell fidget spinners
> autists dont stop and still go in asking
>then comes the autistic duo
>these kids wont stop screaming
>tell them what they want
>they want autism spinners
>look around for parents
> no parents
>tell them theres no fidget spinners here
>they scream so loud my eardrums rumbled
>they stop
>WRONG
>they threw all the shelves to the ground (small shelves)
>then they stopped and asked the question again
>do you have fidget spinners
> i told them we dont
>and they left
mfw they leave
mfw i lose my job

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Fuck timezones

why cant the earth be flat

>inb4 "globehead"

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>arrive home at my apartment
>my absolutely unfuckably hideous neighbor is standing by the door smoking with some average dude
>"Oh hey anon, this is my boyfriend Norm Normington"
>exchange minimum pleasantries and go inside
Dude was one of the most completely average normies I've ever met, and yet apparently thirsty enough to be with a female with the most disgusting fetal alcohol syndrome + long time smoker face I've ever seen. I'm not the most shallow guy, but here's no way I could possibly ever be horny enough to achieve an erection in her presence even with all the boner pills in the world. Females really can't be robots. They can literally at any time get a 6/10 average dude no matter how fat hideous and unlikable they are.

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ITT: Painful realizations you made about yourself
>thinking of starting lifting
>realize that even if I get a good body, I'd still be an ugly autist, both on the inside and outside

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Be me
16
Drink a cold one with the bois

Offend us mutually to the fun very rough

I say to him when he calls me once again cock lollipop I come to his home rape his pets and his sister and beat his mother. Normal insults.

After a while I look at my mobile phone and it has been calling my grandma alone since 6 minutes ... And I hear her laugh loudly ..

Ashamed me in the ground and lay down.
Grandma is the best ...

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>be me
>Rocky
>born sideways through poodernut so autistic
>speak spaz language
>growing up speak poodercooch
>get offer
>looking for a spaz that can take a punch
>become boxer
>get gigantic spazboner from money and fame
>make pooderpond in pants
>want to be bigger spaz
>start injecting steroids
>anus turns into giant truffel
>Shove hose in truffel and fart in wifes coffee
>laugh and do poodersault
>poodercave getting bigger
>hard to walk
>rub oil between buttcheeks
>less friction on swollen poodermelon
>need to make pooderpoo
>pooder trick to toilet slam
>comes out like star shaped licorice strips
>cant wipe own arse
>get pooderpole
>wrap in toilet paper
>pooderpolegrind
>shit all over arsecheeks
>upgrade to horseroids
>Pooderhole gets bigger
>turn into mutant
>put rubberband around cock, helps to train stomach muscles when pee pee
>develope back problems from poodermountain haging out of arsecheeks
>shove giant spine supporting dildo in pooder
>wish i was someone else

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This thread is for robots who want to be cyborgs, its simple really you post your relationship status and we will help you out and your way to get a relationship and free yourself from that hell whats called 4chan
>Their is no end
I'll even start:
I told a girl I like her, she is the quiet weard type, she said that she ''maybe'' likes me but her parents wont let her go out with me, what to do?
>Pic not related

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Post your story of that one time you were sent to another universe.

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just kidding. Chris-chan isn't a virgin anymore fuck you r9k.

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>I will never be Chris Evans loving wife
Why live?

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wish me gl

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ITT: unexpected waifu thread

I stumbled across this qt on a random headphone review channel