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Poisoned my neighbour's pitbull with a sausage filled with rat poison. Watched him barfing blood and grey stuff while smoking a good monte cristo. Tough motherfucker, he didn't even die and got up on his paws, so I had to strangle him through the fence with a phone cable.
He was an aggressive cunt, always barking at people for no reason. Not that my goof neighbour learned the lesson, now he's got a fucking dobermann.
But hey who gives a shit, another retarded dog, another poisoned sausage. This time I'm getting the dose right.
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>>37761250
I would feel anger, but Pitbull...You probably save some childs from an unprovoked mauling. Next time pick something like a Border Collie, that'll piss people off.
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>>37761250
rip off from some flick
forgot title
kys
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>>37761250
Hey what's cooking? Because I think I smell PASTA!
>I need a girlfrie-
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>start foreplay with a girl
>she's laying on her back as i stand near the edge of the bed
>im finger fucking her as she jerks my cock off
>kind of only looking at her face and amazing tits at first, as well as generally closing my eyes/moaning etc.
>she's getting more and more into it
...
>suddenly i realize her other, empty hand
>her hand is completely empty and JERKING OFF THE AIR
>looks literally exactly like vid related
>simultaneously arouses me and disgusts me for how slutty the act is
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>>37761037
woah great thread
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>>37761037
woops meant this oregano gif origarnero
Just Had a panic attack lost my grip on reality
Started doing slow deep breaths ,always works
I'm so glad to be back
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>wanting to have a grip on reality
Fuck off normie
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>>37760967
I remember my first panic attack. I miss not knowing what is real
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>>37760967
>tfw taking slow, deep breaths just made me feel like my chest was growing tighter when I had panic attacks
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>Nephew said he wants nothing more than to be a girl today
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Beat the degenerate
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Rape the degenerate
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>>37760988
This is his mothers fault. She watched drag shows with him when he was 4. He used to say shit like "in the show everyone wants to be a girl"
Anonymous
How should I spend my Friday night? 2017-06-17 12:35:25 Post No.37760846
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How should I spend my Friday night? 2017-06-17 12:35:25 Post No.37760846
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How should I spend my Friday night?
Anonymous
2017-06-17 12:35:25
Post No. 37760846
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Should I play Persona 5 or watch Serial Experiments Lain?
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>>37760846
How is Persona 5? Thinking about getting it.
Anonymous
I'm going to write out a story that happened to me 2017-06-17 12:33:10 Post No.37760801
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I'm going to write out a story that happened to me 2017-06-17 12:33:10 Post No.37760801
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I'm going to write out a story that happened to me
Anonymous
2017-06-17 12:33:10
Post No. 37760801
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>Be me
>24 yo kissless virgin
>Working first job out of University as a programmer for a big tech company
>Live alone in a messy basement apartment
>Get lonely sometimes, but also sometimes thankful to be able to live like a slob and do what I want
>Have been steadily getting less interested with programming since early University
>Decide to revive a passion from high school and audition for community theater
>Some lame comedy about married couples
>Unexpectedly get part
>Part involves getting to kiss a grill
>Meet grill at rehearsal
>Petite brunette with a nice body and expressive face
>Find out she's 39
>Married
>Who cares, she's pretty hot desu
>First kiss happens during rehearsal in front of everybody
>Talk to her backstage between scenes, she loves 80s movies because she grew up with them
>Watch a lot of RedLetterMedia, so no shortage of familiarity with 80s movies
>She seems to really enjoy talking to me
>One day while going over the kissing scene, reveal that she's my first kiss
>She can't believe it
>She thinks I'm good-looking or something
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>Have late dinner after rehearsal
>We talk about her relationships, my near-relationships, and sex
>She reveals to me that in her childhood/youth she fantasized about: Kurt Russell,Darth Vader, Bill Murray, Spock, Data, and Worf
>Actually a nympho
>Decide to reveal to her that I have always been turned on by the part in Return of the Jedi where Princess Leia is captured by Jabba the Hutt and enslaved
>Like the idea of submissive slave-girl forced to be with me against her will
>Girl finds it hot, too
>Holy shit this girl is everything
>Too bad she's married
>Jack off to her, accept that she's married, move on
>Play runs for four days, give good performance, have fun, got some laughs, ready to move on
>Invite girl to birthday party with some friends and co-workers
>She stays after everyone else has left
>We go for a drive
>Talk about sex more
>Getting turned on
>Pull over into a parking lot
>"Girl, I think I'm in love with you"
>She talks about how her husband doesn't satisfy her sexually
>Starts making out with me
>I tell her I don't want this because she's married
>Actually having raging hard-on
>Drive her back to her car, drive home, jack off
>Explain to her over email that I want to keep things platonic because I really don't want my life to change
>Can't stop being a fucking slob
>We meet up a couple more times
>We're talking at the mall
>"Anon, I bought a Princess Leia bikini"
>Flaccid to hard in .5 seconds
>Start telling her what I'd do to her if she were my sex slave
>She's clearly getting turned on
>Start feeling her up in the mall parking lot
>Go to her car
>She sucks my dick
>Say good night
>Next day feeling regretful
>Don't want change, don't want to take a chance
>She wants to meet up on Friday
>Talk to one friend, tells me to fuck her hard
>Talk to friend who is girl, tells me not to do it
>Talk to Internet friend, tells me not to do it
>Fuck
>Meet her on Friday at restaurant
>Tell her I can't see her anymore
>She storms out of my life
>>
That was a few hours ago...
I'm sitting in my apartment right now, relieved that my life will continue to be uneventful and static for the foreseeable future.
I think I am lost
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>Be me
>Walking down the street
>Garbage man gives me a stern look when I pass him by
>Forget jizz stains still all over my shirt from furiously masturbaiting last night
Even the garbageman loathes my existence.
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>>37760717
the garbageman doesnt loathe your existance, he is disgusted by someone wearing jizzstained clothes
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>first learned about masturbation when i was 12
>have cum stains all over my shorts from masturbating for days
>walk around like this
>my mom says something about it "whats that white stuff all over your pants"
>realize what ive did and say its ice cream
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I liked /r9k/ more when it was still called /jp/.
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>tfw you accept that you fucked up
>you know you were going to fuck up eventually
>you are finally free from the anxiety and constant fear of fucking up
in 5 minutes I'll be feeling regret, in 1 day I'll be cursing myself and in 1 week I'll be trying again.
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>ywn go to a summer music festival with a group of your best bros
>ywn walk through the crowd smoking a joint and waving glowsticks around like idiots but have the time of your life with your best friends
>ywn meet a cute, petite girl with glasses and long, straight brown hair in high-waisted denim shorts and a black and white striped t-shirt with a flannel over it
>ywn go over to her and smile at each other
>ywn dance to the music with her, carefree, and happy, enjoying the limited time that is your youth
>ywn kiss her beneath the stars on a warm July night, surrounded by young, joyful, beautiful people with loud, fun music blaring in the background
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>now i can really capitalize on my Frozen fetish
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What is this from?
origimalion
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So what happened to this roastie?
She get busted? Dude still with her?
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>>37760308
>White knights defender her fiercly for the promise of pussy.
>She's on an airplane right now going back to her hubby.
>He's forgiven her and say said they are gucci.
>Now he will be forever be made fun in his streamAnd she's probably carrying Tyrone's baby so she has to fuck her husband bareback very quickly to fool him for 9 months.
Overall I give it a wediditleddit/10.
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>tfw no cold blooded bf
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>cum
>Somehow life is even more miserable than it was 5 minutes ago
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>>37760264
>he doesn't get the afterglow
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>fap
>wonder why the fuck did I do that
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>cum
>Slightly easier to sleep