Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3857. page

>>37799693
is this meant to be bait

>>37799692
i have tons of pissed people calling me hacker and general butthurt noobs

It's dumb when guys upload a selfie to their accounts on porn sites.

>>37799692
nice light fixture, homo
the '70s called

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I was sitting with my wife, god rest her soul, sipping on sweet lemon tea.

I believe it was homemade by my sweet wife, God rest her soul.
Or wait... Maybe she bought it from the store in a bottle.
You know, like a plastic bottle?
Well hold on now, that would be ridiculous to buy a bottle of sweet lemon tea, then transfer the contents into a glass.
Why not just drink it from the bottle?
I guess maybe so she could put ice in the glass?
But then again, making tea homemade would be just as time consuming, if not more! That sneaky bitch...

Anyway, I'll greentext that story later! So, I'm sitting on my porch drinking sweet lemon tea.
From a glass of course, ho ho!
When suddenly... A great strangeness fills my body... Something was wrong... I've lived many years, and I've never felt something like this before.
Do you know what it was? Yup! It was my rocking chair!
That wooden son of a gun stopped rocking! So I looked down and realized a little rock had gotten caught beneath my chair! A rock under my rocking chair! What a day! I decided it was time for bed, I had had a little bit too much excitement for one day! Hoho!
I slid into my jammies, brushed my teeth, and said my prayers. As I was climbing into bed I noticed my wife, God rest her soul, brushing her hair in the bathroom.

As I peered across the hall my body swelled up with emotion...
>Why can't I be married to an attractive woman?
>Is it me?
>My bank account?
>I'm a tall guy, I workout forty minutes a week... Is that not enough?
Now my neighbor at the time, Tom Foreknight, was very short. His wife, Karen Foreknight-Blaghenberg... Yeah, one of THOSE women.
Well, she was more attractive than my wife.
I'd say she was a soft six, whereas my wife was a hard four. What's the deal? I thought women liked tall men?
Why was Karen with him?
Why is life so cruel?

you're fat anon, just face it and the shallow fucking world we live in

>>37799638
>my school had clip on ties
>friend of mine unclipped mine and ran off
>ran after him
>slipped on a banana skin, cartoon style on the wheelchair slope

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>be at school sitting next to oneitis (she used to sit next to me everyday)
>start talking with oneitis
>no spaghetti yet for some reason
>"friends" see this and start saying shit at me, trying to make me feel bad
>ignore
>oneitis stands up and leaves
>she noticed that im a beta phaggot
>ignores me since that day

Your parents gave you an intervention? I honestly don't get this struggle, it's pretty simple to solve. Get a job and an apartment, you can do this within like two weeks.
>make a resume
>apply to as many wagecuck food industry jobs
>Once you get the job, find sublets or studio apartments
There you go now you don't have to deal with your parents anymore

>>37799579
I'd say self-improvement first, then secure a job. At least your parents have shown they care- they don't just pity you and then one day throw you out
>start having a better diet
>unplug your computer
>start reading or get some other hobby you can do outside
>once you feel better and less angsty, start applying for simple jobs, like a cashier

>masturbation song
Girls are weird.

I like listening to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYmykiu3t-M&lc=z121ytlx1tmrxjerr04cin1ottyqzn3qlq00k
pretty /comfy/

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkzQtdU8q04

Sage, and remember everyone, ignore these threads and don't bump

>>37799551
Why?

>originalagio

I have none.

I've just never cared for it and put my energy into other things.

>>37799488
I have sexual desire, my dick just doesn't work.
I'm a kv so it doesn't really matter.

>>37799263
Thanks for the reminder.
I forgot about mothers day and she said she cried all day

It's in September here in Aus but it's going pretty well. Going to go see my son after work and gym. He makes me so happy