Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3740. page

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Guys ive been single and have never touched a girl for the first 20 years of my life, but this stacy who works at the same place as me has FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON taken a liking to me. We hungout on her birthday and had a great time but there were other people there to keep the convo going. Tomorrow she asked me to hangout just me and her, but i have no fucking clue what to talk about. Im boring as shit and have no hobbies, shes super hot and has a ton of friends. What do i talk about?

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poo poo pee pee?
poo poo pee pee
POO POO PEE PEE
POOP POOP PEEEEE PEEEEEE

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>be me, grade 6
>on ski trip for school
>turns out there are not enough beds for everyone
>have to sleep in same bed with kid
>fuckinggay.jpg
>end up having to sleep with him
>fall asleep
>wake up in middle of night and look over at him.
>He's fucking jacking off in the same bed as me
>why.mp4
>moans quietly and finishes in the bed
>jump out of the bed as fast as possible
>he never apologizes
>MFW

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Bost
Sad
Music
Here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx-yMaW8WhI

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>shitposting from doctors office
>someone else got a ban from the office IP

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Is a friend so much to ask for?

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Is anyone else OCD and has obsessive unwanted sexual thoughts almost constantly? Half the time it doesn't even make me horny, just sick.
What do I do?

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Make your perfect girl in this confusing dressup game
http://pochi.x.fc2.com/kisekae/k_kisekae2.html
ask for help in the thread if you dont know how to do something specific

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>"yeah, all of my diamonds they shine haters like knock that off yuhh"

why does lil uzi make every song a fucking hit when hes on it, literally a GOAT.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ekqu_Ku7nuY

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When santa got stuck the chimney he began to shout
"You girls and boys won't get any toys
If you don't pull me out
My beard is black
There's soot in my sack
My nose is tickling too!"
When santa got stuck up the chimney
A-choo, a-choo, a-choo!

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>be khv
>finally get gf
>she's not a virgin
>has fucked at least 10 other guys
>has an alright personality though
>eventually she wants to have sex
>remember all the guys she's fucked
>can't get hard at all
>the harder I try the more disgusted with her I get
>eventually just tell her I can't do it
>she tries to tell me it's alright and it happens so we can try again some other time
>don't tell her I find her disgusting
>we break up a few days ago
well looks like I'm guaranteed to be alone forever robots

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I HAD THIS BIG OPPORTUNITY TO PLAY ASSASSINS CREED WITH MY CRUSH I WAITED ONE EXTRA YEAR AND NOW IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE FUCKING COOP?

SHES SMART, HOT, FUNNY AND LIKES RIDING HORSES WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE?

FUCKING ASSASSINS CREED WAS THE OPPORTUNITY I WAITED FOR SO LONG TO GET TO KNOW HER BETTER WITHOUT BEEING AWKWARD AS HELL.

I HATE MYSELF FOR USING A VIDEO GAME TO GET TO KNOW A GIRL.

I will probably meet her on monday, wish me luck i will try

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>don't have any hobbies
>decide I should get one if I'm ever going to be happy
>always thought the cello was a beautiful instrument
>drop 100 dollars and rent a cello
>have emailed all 12 teachers online and not got back one response

How the fuck do I find a teacher? I'm about to give up tbqh

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>"correlation doesn't mean causation!"
>proceeds to ignore that incorrelation doesn't mean incausation either.

fucking statisticslets REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Posted before, but did a mistake of posting on non peak hours

> Be me
> close friend and I plan to celebrate his b-day at his summerhouse
> He brings his gf and her sister
> So 4 of us at the summerhouse
> Friends gf has mental health problems and dep, had a migraine at the time aswell.
> She pretty much rq on everything and went in to a hysteria, started begging to go home
> In short, my friend decided to drive his gf home and leave me with her sister for 5 or 6 hours alone
> Sister is a roastie, but yesterday, there and then, I was still a fucking horny 19yo virgin.
> I met her only once and it seemed that she was into me, but it was still a little awkward
> Since our arrival we smoked alot of tree and drank some beers so I got pretty wrecked
> Internet was knocked out so i couldnt avoid her and desu I wanted to fuck her pretty bad
> We're sitting on blankets in the garden and grilling food
> Talking was gradually replaced with silence and we started to cuddle
> Eventually we got fed up with bugs/mosquitoes and decided to go inside
> Go to seccond floor to find my tabaco bag
> I'm standing in the middle of the room drunk and stoned feeling depressed about my life
> She walks in, leans her head on my chest and starts to hug me
> I wanted to burst into tears
> Eye contact happens and heads start to move in closer
cont.?