Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3640. page

>get the aspire fucker in three of my 8 classes
>operation fuckery activate
>first few days, petty bullshit
>until I get into Yugoslav war history, for some reason
>just say "Yugoslavia" to him
>he flips the fuck out
>see him in hallways
"Yugoslavia"
>in class
"How can this be related to Yugoslavia "
>at recess
"For YUGOSLAVIA"
While playing games
>kid is at his breaking point
>one day, get earraped Serbia strong
>it's during a long field trip, he has Bluetooth headphones on
>connect to them before he can and blare my music
"AHH WHAT THE FUCK"
>because swearing on bus, he has to stay with a chaperone

Be prepared for the (as of yet) final chapter.

>freshman year of highschool
>Micheal is in none of my classes
>I have no clue where he sits for lunch
Oh yeah, our school has an open campus lunch policy, you can sit anywhere during lunch
>eventually, find where the fucker sits
>do minor shit, like dab on him or call his favorite band trash
>one day, get a devilish idea
>get a tyvek coverall hazmat suit thing
>get a massive roll of caution tape
>get a megaphone
>start cordoning off his lunch spot with tape
>he appears
"What?"
>start yelling into microphone
"ATTENTION STUDENTS, ATTENTION STUDENTS, THERES BEEN AN OUTBREAK OF AIDS IN THE AREA"
>entire hallway is having a good ass laugh at this shit
>Micheal chucks his chicken lo mein at me
>had to explain to VP why I was in a hazmat suit covered in chicken yelling about AIDS
>fast forward to end of year, me and my friends make a micronation in the school courtyard
>call it borkswansa
>make a flag and everything, wave it around and play the Konigrattzer march
>Micheal is having none of it
>he freaks out and says borkswansa is a false nation
>tell him it's not
>this goes on for days, every lunch
>one day, he gets violent
>banzai charge Across field
>one kid trips him
>Micheal faceplants
>Micheal runs away
>some time later
>it comes out he's been sending nudes to 7th graders
>decide we have to get one of his nudes
>catfish him with a fake snapchat
> after he sends his nude, he asks to bang me after school
>show up in a cop uniform
>Halt. You have violated the law
>he's furious
>and I have his nude now
>he has a jungle of pubes and a two-incher
>or a tic-tac
>call him tic-tac the terrible
That's the end of this story, /r9k/

Good story, guess I'll bump.

my parents pay for the place so I can live here alone and enjoy the occasional line of dope with my weed

I afford it with my job. It's lonely as fuck and boring to boot.

>>37897933
Wagie

$500/month isn't too hard when you make $20/hr

I think if you at least talk to her, your mind will ease up a bit

>>37897959
but i really don't want to talk to her. she will just try and lure me back into her grasp. thanks for the idea though. i might actually do it haha

>>37898015
If she does that act more dominative than a beta

>>37897919
>BPD gf
>good
You are in for a world of hurt, OP

>>37897948
I have bpd myselfbaka

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tomoko only likes dark meat

>>37897910
*girl pee

>>37898203
It's not pee anon. Girls have two holes down there. Pee comes from the urethra, sexy delicious squirt juice comes from the inside of the vagina. They are not connected, nor is the inside of the vagina connected to the bladder. Not to mention the volume of liquid that comes out each time, and how rapidly it can happen. It does share a lot of enzymes with urine, but not all of them, and it also contains some that piss doesn't. It also doesn't taste like owe
>t. Ex gf was a squirter

>>37898283
You are a fucking retard if you believe that the "juice" in the OP is anything but pee. Same goes for squirting in general. Some girls push lubricant out of their vagina while cumming but that's not what happens in 99% of "squirting" cases. Some girls just lose control over their bladder during orgasm.
Anyway, you're an idiot if you haven't figured this out while having a squirter gf. You're falling for urban myths.

>>37897883
>no comfy bf to watch shitty tv shows and be bored with

>>37897883
Just do it OP. Its comfy as fuck. Been in a relationship for over two years with my boyfriend and we love each other.

>>37897883

Dude, gay men are more shallow and chad obsessed

>>37897863
you'd probably flinch even harder not knowing what to expect,your best bet would be to put a few hundred rounds down range and get used to it first

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A shotgun is an excellent suicide choice.

But you should remember to
(A) Use buckshot, and
(B) Put the barrel against the roof of your mouth, not under your chin

This will ensure that your brains are literally blown out and that you don't survive, horribly injured and disfigured.

You don't want to end up like this guy.

>>37897863
Try pointing it to your forehead and use a slug
Make some magic happen and live stream in public

[s4s] is next door to the right. Good meme though.

>>37897841
Haha a pepperoni alligator does sound funny. Make a drawing of a cute cartoon alligator made of pepperoni before your blood clot bursts

>>37897841
This is a special message from God. Cherish it and meditate on the greater cosmological meaning.

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Currently, I think.

I like that medieval chink one with the river and all the boats in the city. I also like the Renaissance one with Florence under siege. I like old city paintings. Too big to post though.

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I yearn for a return to culture

How old are you?

FBI is gonna fuck you over

>tfw you're a creep who lusts over 13 year-old little girls

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>>37897811
>15 year old girl wont l eave you alone

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Hey, haven't seen you around in a while [x4]
I didn't go to work for a month
I didn't leave my bed for eight days straight
I haven't hung out with anyone
'Cause if I did, I'd have nothing to say
I didn't feel angry or depressed
I didn't feel anything at all
I didn't want to go to bed
And I didn't want to stay up late
When youre living your life, well, that's the price you pay
Whenever I breath out, you're breathing it in
Whenever I speak out, you're speaking out
I didn't go to work for a month
I didn't leave my bed for eight days straight
I haven't hung out with anyone
'Cause if I did, I'd have nothing to say

SITUAATIOOOOOONS

ARE IRRELEVANT NOW

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dj p-pls bring the beat back...

>>37897796
who are these women and why would anyone care to buy these when there's a practically infinite amount of amateur nudes out there

>>37897796
Can some post some of carlie