Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3456. page

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>tfw spent all day on 4chan again

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Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.
You guys please help
>after months of searching finally get a job offer
>they request I mail them some paperwork to finalize it all plus a picture of myself
>today while printing off my picture I was curious about what my asshole looks like so I sat on the scanner to scan a copy of my asshole
>go do some errands and shopping
>send the paperwork
>get home and find my profile picture still sitting on the printer rack
>can't find my asshole picture anywhere
I in all likelihood just mailed a picture of my hairy gross asshole to my future employer. Is there anyway to salvage this? Can I say my mail was tampered with or something? I really need this job, my parents were about to kick me out before I got it

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>Find another hot tumblr slut to follow
>"Black guys only ;)"

RRRREEEEEEEE THIS IS THE THIRD ONE REEE REEEEEEEE

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What are you drinking tonight robots? Let be alone together

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Jesus Christ is the light that never dims! His love for you is so great that he sacrificed himself in order to ensure that you will not perish in death! He is the beacon of hope and optimism in a world full of sin.

Many of you are saddened; unhappy; perhaps afraid of the current state of our world. we humans are sinful by nature but God is a pure divine grace like no other. He is pure love and not hate. He is devoid of sin. His grace alone can provide you with the courage and strength we desperately need. We must pay tribute to our Lord by worshipping him and praising his almighty strength.

Jesus was hated and despised by many in his time in this world. He rode into town on a donkey and had nothing to show for in terms of money. He was humble and meek and obedient to his father. His time on this earth was to fulfill the role of saving us from our own wicked nature. Jesus knows what it's like to experience rejection and ostracization. He allowed for himself to be captured, humiliated and executed before crowds of spectators. His own body which was pure was beaten and bloodied on behalf of YOU and ME! This alone should tell you that one no one else is there for you, Jesus is there for you.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

- Jeremiah 29:11

Amen

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Lets revive /stupid/
>always thought i was above everyone
>superiority complex
>sub 100 IQ
>steady C GPA at uni
>shitty with computers even though i spend all day on them
>always leech off freinds for decent grades
>still try to act alpha
>attention span too short to learn anything new
>going for pilot in ROTC

Hows it going for you?

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I am looking for females to copulate with.

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LOLOL
Who here is a literal sadist!

>show guys my picture to prove I'm real girl
>they get their hopes up as I tell them I love them.
>when they show me their picture I call them gross/ugly and get disgusted
>cut contact with them immediately
>last one just deleted all his social media

XDDDDDDDDDDD

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Ok, story time:

>Be me
>Live at home alone with my mother
>Have an older brother but he moved out years ago
>He'll be important later
>Anyway, Mom goes out of town for the weekend
>Can't remember why, but it's not important anyway
>Have the house to myself
>Remember Mom mentioning having cooked some potatoes
>Find the pot they're in and proceed to smash on boiled potatoes all weekend
>Saturday night, I'm fumbling about in the refrigerator when I find a pot
>Open it up to find cut and seasoned potatoes
>Time seems to freeze around me
>Oh shit
>Realize that these are the potatoes she left for me to eat
>Meaning I just ate her potatoes
>"Oh shit, she's going to fucking kill me!"
>Calms down, look to see how many potatoes are left
>"Maybe I can play it off."
>There are fucking 3 left
>Decides that I need to replace the potatoes
>Need to get to the Trader Joe's and buy more potatoes
>Only problem is getting there
>Can't drive (Which is another story by itself) and it's too far to walk
>Past sunset, so I don't really want to take the bus
>Probably doesn't help that the closest bus stop is a half hour walk from my house
>Mom's coming back tomorrow around noonish
>Need to do this quick and soon
>Call my brother to ask for ride
>Explains the situation
>Is strangely sympathetic to my plight
>Probably because he's pulled worse shit than this this behind her back
>Picks me up about twenty minutes later and drive me to the store
>The drive there and the actual purchasing of potatoes are both pretty unremarkable, so I'll skip it
>Brother drops me off back home
>Before he goes, I tell him that the next time he sees me may be in the obituary
>Ok, time to boil some taters
>Look up a recipe online
>Should only take 20 minutes
>Fucks up, ends taking and hour and a half
>Here I am, alone on a Saturday night boiling potatoes
>Briefly contemplates suicide but manage to persevere
>Finally have perfectly boiled potatoes
To be concluded in Part 2

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Why is this show so comfy guys?
I just want to live in it.

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What do I do if I've suddenly been hit by the fact I've done nothing with my life for 3 years and could have been in education, making money or doing something more productive than sitting around on the internet which I was fine with until this realisation of wastefulness I had yesterday.

Its bothering me a lot.

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How do I drink whisky without throwing up? Advice?

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I can't do this anymore, Sam.

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>be 15yr old me
>hs sweetheart gets pregnant
>after fucking my best friend, father, and uncle
>have sex all the time for 2 years
>no condom but am pullout king, like Srsly 2 yrs straight not one bun have mastered this. Only time I cum in is with condom
>I know it's not 100% safe, but for those 2 years no babies
>after finding this out, and hearing she's fucking around with three and even some more, asks me over
>last xmas fuck
>Do the deed pull out, cum, but she strains to keep my dick and pushed back in while load on belly
>few months later - preggs.dll
>due to the time we had sex, start to question anyone but me for the conceptioner- time line is off
>father, uncle, best friend, new bf
>can't be mine
Time passes, 9 months
>baby born everyone says oh look at how much she looks like you. Nothing like me, but looks like could be from my family.
>DNA test
>not 99.6% accuracy on my result (the usual accuracy if it's 100%)
>little lower than that.
>what's this mean?
>oh sometimes it's not always 99.6% sometimes lower
>at the time I think I'm fucked
>court hearings
>child support,medical bills, the whole nine. I'm over 15k in debt at 16
> 10 yrs down the road, a cos of mine I've always trusted tells me
>uncle fucked ex gf
>kid is looking less and less like me as time goes on No resemblance
>thinking she forced me to try to partially cum inside her that one night around Christmas.
>think what's if she wanted me to do that because she knew my uncle, dad, bf at the time, or friend. One of them came in her and wanted to protect them.
>I'm perfect scapegoat
I have a question w this. Can uncles and family members, especially fathers have the same DNA as you? Maybe not 99.6% similar tho? Im fucked and many questions and bad thoughts.What the fuck do I do? I don't want my dad to get ass raped in prion for fucking a 15 yr old girl back then. I don't want my uncle.. Well fuck him What the fuck would u do in my position. With every new pic I see, she seems less like me.

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>Haven't fapped in 4 days
>Suddenly have more energy, no more anxiety or constant brain fog, and can articulate my sentences easier when speaking without awkward pauses
Why do you still watch porn?