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>Be me in 8th grade
>This Japanese toy called a kendama got really popular
>it's the late 2000s and sillybandz had already gone out of style
>Every chad had some cool trick that he could do
>After begging my mom to get me one she finally caved in and bought a cool one for me
>Normal wooden base and a red ball
>Practice with it every day when I got home to impress all of the chads
>Finally get the courage to show the chads that I can do cool kendama tricks
>I sperg out and fuck up each time I try to get the ball onto the spike
>They laugh at me
>One asks me to follow him into the bathroom to show me how to do one of the tricks
>Im embarrassed and naive so I follow him
>He tells me to drop my pants
>Confused as fuck
>My stupid ass does it anyways
>He asks me to spread my legs
>My stupid ass does it
>He begins to push the ball into my anus
>I start to whimper and ask what he's doing and how it's going to be a good trick
>"Shh anon I'm telling you it's going to be great"
>He finishes shoving the ball up my ass and drags me outside
>mfw my pants are still down and the base of the kendama is dangling from the ball string
>The group of chads starts laughing
>Im too afraid to take the ball out of my asshole in front of them so I ran back into the bathroom and took it out and sat in there until the period ended
>Nobody but the Chads knew it happened because they knew they would get in trouble
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Bumping because this story needed to be told on here in its own thread
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>>38004220
Why? It's just more gay bullshit..i don't even like coming to this board now because it always ends up like this.
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>tfw I thought this was gonna be a relatable story
>I was not wrong
Tomorrow is potentially the day a woman touches my genitalia for the first time
>Found lump on testicle
>Could be cancer but probably just a cyst or something
>Going to the doctor tomorrow to get it checked
>There are 4 main doctors there, 2 male 2 female
>One of the male doctors is a paki so hopefully it's haram for him to touch male patients' balls
>This potentially leaves me with a 60 percent chance of seeing a female doctor
>One of them is an asian milf
This worst case scenario would be finding out I have cancer but it's worth it to have a nurse feel my balls
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>>38004056
they escort you out if you get an erection. i know from experience, and yes, I do have cancer
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>>38004056
so.. made a thread about having a third ball.. make another thread about """"female"""" touching your neggytalia...
>urologist
>old man
>all hands in the dark are female hands
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>>38004099
This isn't what I've read online, lots of people said the female doctors are used to it but I suppose it's different in certain places. What country do you live in?
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I somehow talked a girl into having sex with me but she expects me to dominate her. I have no idea how to do that. Can you guys give me some tips?
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>>38004050
Is that her? Orgenalo.
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>>38004050
Instead of googling it you came to the most autistic place on the internet mostly known for virgin anons to ask about sexual advuce when most of us never spoke to a girl before.
Yeah, makes sense.
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>>38004050
>no anon stop
>no not that hole anon!
Just don't stop when you hear this. She asked for it. Slap her tits too.
Are any of you robots that don't hate other people and try to remain optimistic even though you are sad and alone? I'm miserable and depressed but I still think kindness and acceptance are really important and it makes me really sad to see other mentally ill and lonely people becoming cynical and hateful. I don't fit in with normal people but I don't fit in with robots either because I think both groups are too judgemental in general. I accept normies and robots but neither group accepts me. I just really want to meet other people who understand what it's like to be strange and deal with anxiety and depression but also haven't let that make them bitter or hateful.
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I find most other people boring and hate talking to them, but I don't pretend that they're the cause of my problems. I don't mean them any ill will, I just want to be left alone. Being bitter and hateful is tiring
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I'm usually really nice to people and somewhat optimistic in social situations. The problem is the rest of the time when I'm alone I become very hateful in my way of thinking. I feel like a hypocrite but I just hate hurting other people's feelings, even if I secretly hate them in private.
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>>38004113
Yeah I find that most people aren't strange enough to interest me, or I'm too strange to interest people I like, but I try to send positive intentions to everyone I meet because it's not their fault that we're different. I'm just holding out hope that I'll meet some people that are strange AND accepting that I can be friends with one day.
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Come on, anon! Hop in!
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Alright lemme put a little oil on meself and I'll shimmy in :)
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>>38003962
B-but I'm trying to take a nap, senpai
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>>38003962
that's too much hurr durr murica for me, no thanks!
>You are convicted for Murder
>You are in the electric chair
What will be your last words?
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>>38003952
Why won't a soup mix the kept jazz?
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>>38003952
"I need to scratch my nose"
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"You will regret this. I'll become stronger than you can imagine"
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>tfw no qt trap gf to pick grapes with
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>>38003911
thank gott
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no trap or grapes
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please stop posting this thread everyday
>Sure Anon, we'll hook you up with Stacey
>But first, you gotta suck our cocks and swallow
wat do?
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>>38003909
You don't even need to anything tbqh. I'll do it for free.
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>>38003909
>offer to film them fucking Stacey if they let me escape unscathed
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I don't need to suck dicks to be rejected by women, I get that for free.
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Anyone else kinda hope Hell is a thing so that they can suffer like they deserve?
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we are in hell right now
the only way to escape is to never breed
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>>38003898
Hell is real and is defined as the eternal seperation from God.
Repent now and seek out God so you don't lose sight.of him forever
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>>38003974
>implying Jesus doesn't save
Whatever. If there is a god, he has gotten me this far.
Thinking of going to 711 guys, what should I get to eat and drink?
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get a fidget spinner normie
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>>38003966
pretty sure only autismos play with those
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>>38003873
A medium slushie and 5 MilkyWays
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Normies have taken away our internet
Normies have taken away our memes
Normies have taken away our inside jokes
What is the next thing normies will take away from us? What is something we can think of that normies won't think is funny until another five years when they sheep it again?
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Gore threads and goatse or whatever it's called.
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>>38003845
I just hope they delete this board. It's depressing to even look at it now.
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They won't take away this website. It's safe here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrZHYfX4cGA
You're safe /r9k/ just as safe as anyone else I guess.
Why aren't there any fighter pilots who are robots?
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Do you trust a robot ?
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>>38003830
Because robots usually have something emotionally physically or mentally wrong with them.
One Pilots don't have to be Olympians or geniuses by any means they have to be decent enough to receive a check mark across the board. New robot can do all three of these things and truly be a bot.
Asthma and poor eyesight was my downfall, which leg did self-hatred which led to a loss of confidence which led the social isolation.
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Because they have some of the biggest balls on the planet.
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Where can I get a submissive virgin wife? Can a white boi get one in muslim countries? Or in Mexico?
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Has everyone just given up here?
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>>38003780
I live in Mexico and I don't know any place that sells virgin wives.
If you are blonde they're gonna throw themselves at you though.
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>>38003949
Hah, I am dark and ugly.
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About to go into an inpatient mental ward, any tips?
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walk right up to the biggest motherfucker there and deck him right in the face
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>>38003597
Are you going willingly
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>>38003597
Follow every rule they give you and don't be disobedient. They can really make your time suck if you act out.
what would an /r9k/, but only for women, look like
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>>38003557
Tumblr.
I'm not sure how this is even a question.
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Lolcow
Cmon we've been over this
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>>38003557
Seeing the roastie in that picture makes me want to PHYSICALLY, SEXUALLY and VERBALLY HARRASS her, since she would not be able to do anything about it.