Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3349. page

>>38045752

Stop fapping and stop looking at it for two weeks, and you'll go back to normal.

>>38045801
two months would be better. and you have to quit cold turkey.

>>38045801
I thought that nofap was a meme that only makes you think about non-vanilla shit

>>38045735
Chimpanzee Consciousness

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>>38045813
Simian Standpoint

/r9k/ turning into the anti-/pol/ backlash board would almost be worth the janitard interference

commies don't like incels though so your strategy needs some work

>Listen to AM radio

thread bumperoony

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>>38045730

>piss in private restroom sinks no matter where I go

Sirrah, my matters are not to be explained to thee. Get thee gone from my chambers, harlot!

>>38045687
Oh it's good yeah

Roasted cow meat harlots, begone.

>>38045674
Don't worry. A girlfriend will fix us. We will experience emotions again. Just wait....

>>38045695
i dont want a gf, sometimes i feel like i prefer just drifting.

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>>38045695
>tfw can't even feel tfw no gf anymore

All of them
Next question please

https://www.youtube.com/user/MatthewPatrick13

>>38045984
>8mil subs
>over a billion views
>meanwhile im 25 and idk what to do with my life and just make funny videos i don't post anywhere

also Nostalgia Critic

>>38045534
Only if its a dirty anus

>>38045534
Ew dude, is that rat shit near her butt hole?

>>38045534
Yes
Only done this with girls I'd later realized i was being beta with
Same with eating pussy

Am done with both now lol, if a chick wants either instead of sucking my dick she's not into me and we should both move on

>>38045531
Your a faggot lmao just end it m8

anon you got bigger issues than what you posted seek professional help

>>38047532
Being asexual isn't a medical issue. Asexuals still have perfectly fine sexual functions. Some people are sexually attracted to the same sex, some people are sexually attracted to the opposite sex, some people are sexually attracked to both and some people are sexually attracked to none. Sexual attraction has nothing to do with sexual function.

>>38045522
can i talk to you yet
nice dubdubs

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>>38046008
[SLUUUUUURRRPPPPP]
What was that?

>>38046141
Did you finish it yet?

>>38045389
>tfw never ever
muted for 16 seconds

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>>38045389
>FB IMG
pls go back

>>38045389
I'd bet anything you're not even cute yourself, now fuck off back to Faceberg.

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Oh fuck INTJ is too accurate apart from the 9gag thing

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>>38045482
>apart from the 9gag thing

INTJ - Ultra Chad

>>38045351
I was really surprised at how narrow TP tubes are when I first friend this.

How thick are they? My dick doesn't even look big and I can only fit the tip in

You do realize they aren't all made in standard size? Pointless fucking test you retard.

>>38045351
depends how long are you..? I stick out an inch or even more and the TP roll fits very snug, almost have to be forced on

if you are thicker than the roll but not that long you basically have a chode and that's disgusting

bitch how long would you have survived without birth control and condoms?

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I would have fucking died

I have 20:20 vision and it's a definite turn-on when girls ask you what your eye vision is and you can proudly you don't wear glasses. I also have an 8 inch cock but have only had one pretty lady touch it in all of my 21 years.

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The hype is dead, the genre not.

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It's just getting less popular, which is better than being bastardized by normies

>>38045257
I wish there was more Elliotwave.

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>be me
>400 lb beautiful boy
>one afternoon mummy is helping me into my onesie
>mummy pinches one of my succulent rolls while buttoning up the front
>"anon, you're getting a little chubby chubby, you might need to cut down on the chicken tenders!"
>I turn around with the speed and grace of a master samurai, freeing myself from her grip
>bitchwhore mummy shall not get away with this insolence
>release my warning REEEEE to give her a chance to run
>mummy starts to back away but her words demand retribution
>grab my katana from the side of my computer desk and lunge at her
>as I surge forward, a bit of poo escapes from my bumhole and onto the floor (mummy forgot to button the backflap!), propelling me forward
>the force of my attack knocks mummy to the floor
>I fall on top of her and my wee wee starts to feel weird
>I lay there until mummy stops moving and my wee wee stops pulsing weirdly (I had also used all my power in my attack)
>when I roll away I notice a forgotten tendie under my racecar bed
>mfw I still got tendies

Don't have this one hand, but my favorite is the one where anon decides to save up a billion GBP by getting his life together getting a job and family and raising his kids through college but the instant the now 50 something anon hits a billion he instant reverts to shitting himself ditches his whole family and runs off to his elderly mothers old folks home to demand tendies again.

>>38046676
I've seen that one, want me to post it for you ?