Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2893. page

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Am l gay?

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I'm a 23 y.o white male, and I have a strong desire to kill people.

Not innocent/random people, I'm not a psycho, but my enemies, I want to hunt evil people who really deserve to be dead. I have phantasies about craving a sword in someone's chest and see it bleeding.

Is that normal? Am I wrong?

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How does manage to be /fit while being smart and knowleageable and socially fit?

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Why is starting college so hard?

There's SO MUCH paperwork. So much to do. I need to call my old high school and get them to send over a transcript. Send a letter to the county with multiple proofs so I can get a certificate of residence. Get a physical examination and immunization records from the doctor's office. Fill out federal and state financial aid forms, with all my income and taxes that I've filed in the last years, apply for scholarships and awards, schedule placement testing then registration after that, rsvp for orientation and more and more and more and more there's SO MUCH TO DO AHHHH.

Every thing with it's own specific requirements and forms to fill and paperwork to provide and one single mistake fucks the whole process up. How do people do this?

It would be so much easier if they could actually streamline the process into one easy checklist. Do this, do that, when everything's done you're all set. Instead it's this schizophrenic mishmash of shit spread out all over multiple webpages hidden in little nooks and crannies on the college website. Not only there, but also in the state's website, and the county's website, and none of them interact or talk to each other so there's really no way of ever knowing when you missed something.

Do they seriously expect braindead 18 year old kids to figure all this out?

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How do I get a romantic relationships like the ones in anime?

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>mom found the cum cannon
FUCK

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how do i make a thread on here

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>Went to Asian massage parlor
>Decent looking mom-tier Asian with okay butt and legs comes in and gives me massage
>Flips me over and points at my dick "Is okay?"
>I say yeah
>She gives me an oily handjob while I feel on her butt
>I blow a load on my own chin
>All that for $50

Does this count as losing my virginity? I feel dirty like I lost it

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What's your guys' favorite television series? Pic related is mine

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WHY DO I HAVE TO SHIT? I HAAAATE SHIIIIITTTTING

HALF A FUCKING HOUR A DAY PAINFULLY FORCING AN EVIL SMELLY SUBSTANCE OUT OF MY BODY

WHY CAN'T MY BODY JUST USE EVERYTHING I EAT????????????

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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I know how much I'm adored here, it's so pleasant.

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How do you feel about people over 30 with nothing saved for retirement?
I work at a joint nursing home/assisted living home. There's the luxury side I work at and the other side for people on welfare. Most of the residents on my side are genuinely happy people. We go on trips to horse racing and stuff. We have happy hour once a week before dinner and Sunday brunch. These residents pay a 200k entrance free before rent and expenses. Then there's the other side. They eat basically bottom of the barrel slop. No outings, hardly any activities, no family comes to see them. A good amount are literally waiting in bed to die. All they have to do is puzzles while we have wii sports. Comparing the two, my side is in much better health. You can't walk 10 feet without passing someone who lost a leg to diabetes. There's very few diabetics on my side. There are no obese residents on my side. Money really does buy better health. I've can spend hours chatting with our residents. They're really interesting people. The poor people are eager to talk to anyone who won't walk away from them, like I do. They only reason I would ever sit down and chat with a poor resident is to find out where they fucked up in life to leave them here.
Sofrry for the rant. If you could experience this too, you would have such motivation to invest and save. One more thing. The smokers. These are some of the most suicidally depressed people you will ever see. The only receive $10 a month from their check and that's only good for one pack here. I've seen poor residents crawl into the trash can in the employee smoking area looking for butts to smoke. There's a group who are up all night, all in wheelchairs, all missing a leg. They literally face a brick wall, don't say a word to each other, and chain smoke hoping today is the day they die.
You see the difference for yourself, I promise you, you will take retirement seriously.

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hiiii anon~
eat my rear pls :3

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It's my birthday today and I received this out of the blue.
Did I hit rock bottom.

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>be me
>mommy's big bouncing 400lb boy
>having a bubbly bubble bath in my reinforced steel tub
>making tendie flavoured bubbles from my poopy hole
>love feeling them tickle past my mighty 2 inch peepee
>squeeze extra to hard to make an extra big bubble
>suddenly the water turns to gravy
"REEEEEEE! MOMMY! I POO POOED IN THE BATHY TUB! NOW YOUR BABY YOU MUST SCRUB!"
>no answer
"MOMMY! THE WATER IS ALL BROWN AND STINKY! THERE'S TENDIE JUICE ON BABY'S WINKY!"
>still no response
>i lift my ample frame out of the brown smelly sludge
>it has rendered me covered in slippery poop juice
>slide my way downstairs on my belly to see mommy and another new chaddy daddy cuddling on the couch
"oh, anon... i thought you were still in the bath... didn't you play with that plugged in toaster i gave you?"
"BABY POOPIED IN THE BATH! CLEAN IT UP OR FEEL MY WRATH!"
"listen champ, your mom and i are trying to watch the movie. how about you go upstairs and give us some private time. you might wanna clean up too, you smell like shit"
>i can feel my tard rage building
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>grab my loot crate exclusive replica minecraft sword and strike chaddy daddy in the head
"that's it you fat little shit! you're gonna get it!"
>he charges and attempts to grab me
>my shitty coating has turned me into a slippery brown seal
>i slip out of his grip and waddle upstairs towards the bathroom
"got you now bitch!"
>he charges me again but slips on a stray turdie tendie which sends him flying towards my rusty brown bath
>hold his head under the kf sea of poop as he struggles to fight for air
"DRINK MY RANCID TENDIE JUICE, THEN YOU AND I CAN FORM A TRUCE!"
>suddenly he stops breathing
>he must be dead lol
>talk to mommy
"CHADDY DADDY DROWNED IN CRAP! NOW MOMMY MUST TAKE THE RAP!"
"sure anon, prison has to better than this"
>get tendies at the police station
>turns out the death penalty is legal in this state
>mommy BTFO

I guess she should've taken better care of her baby.