Sad monday edition.
>>39514306
jak wam poszlo w szkole chlopaki ?
u mnie bylo dosyc niezle nie zrobilem z siebie blazna
+ na rozpoczeciu jakis geniusz puscil https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_jWHffIx5E
How was szkolka anonki
>>39514394
Nudy w chuj na rozpoczenciu tylko siedzialem i czekalem az plan wrecza i od razu w dluga
Anyone else have lolcow siblings that their family avoids?
>brother is a die hard trump supporter who teaches english in Japan with a 2/10 wife
>always posting his autistic pro life anti gay views on normiebook
>he's the laughing stock of the family
>during his wedding my grandma called his wife "very ugly for an asian"
>always shunned and hated by everyone
Because of him I'm not the biggest lolcow in my family
Wtf is a "lolcow". You guys are getting younger and younger every day.
I think it's pretty much just me.
>>39514316
you cant be serious. youre just pretending to be retarded.
how does it feel knowing that white women are flocking to black men in droves because their dicks are LITERALLY as big as their forearm?
How does it feel knowing your thread is being saged?
>>39514264
Feels good. I can only say thanks to niggers for weeding out white trash females.
>>39514437
thanks for the bump white boi
My dick is 14cm long and 11cm in girth. Is that acceptable?
>>39514144
it's smaller than average. Yes it's acceptable unless you plan on sleeping with stacies/sluts only.
Be good with your fingers/mouth.
But desu becoming a trap/sissy/cuck is the most logical choice
>>39514838
Bullshit
13.12 +-1.66cm is average
>>39514875
Don't lie 7.5 inches is the average
Ideally, how often would you be fucking your gf if you had one?
>>39514121
everyday nigga are you serious
>>39514121
never. i want to be locked in chastity and only allowed to masturbate when she is fucking another man in front of me
>>39514121
Maybe 2-3...3-4 times a week? With multiple instances per day depending~
So, do you remember the days before you found 4chan?
What were they like?
>>39514092
yes i would spend all day browsing reddit instead of here. now it's the other way around
>>39514092
everything was lovely
>>39514092
I was 16. It was 2011. I remember playing skyrim all weekend and listening to fedora tier atheist videos while I 420 gamed bro. They were the best of times, they were the worst of times.
>Go to veterans Office in uni with Navy friend so he can sort out his transition from Navy to school
>See qt veteran girl and sit next to her
>Mathematics major with a 4.0 average despite full time school and work
>We strike up a conversation about different jobs in the military and how some people don't see combat :^)
>Tell her my friend who's sorting his stuff out just worked an office job all day and that the most combat he saw was "getting scared but old shot up SEALs war stories of how they killed people"
>"OH wow that sounds horrible" she says in a cheerfully submissive tone
>proceeds to brush me off and ignore me to do homework quite bluntly
>temperature of the room changes and people there think I'm a dick
IT'S TRUE THOUGH. Dude like, the whole 'solemn warrior' thing is a fucking meme, a lot of these dudes are just callous meatheads who will talk about punching someone's card while eating a sandwich. It's not like I lied.
>>39514075
Don't trash talk the military to the military. Even if that is your real feelings it definitely made you sound like a dick.
people who go into military are indoctrinated to some degree that any criticism makes them circle the wagons
more people should criticize them to be honest. they do a lot of wrong to the world
>>39514118
But I wasn't trash talking them or him. I was just poking fun at a silly reality. You sure her skin wasn't too thin?
Like, my friends boss literally made jokes about dead kids he saw laying around baking in the road.
I just got raped by my "best" "friend."
What do, /r9k/? How do I ruin his life?I'm not a girl, btw.
>>39514030
>post his information here
>sit back and enjoy
>>39514030
You call the police you fucking retard.
Being in prison kind of sucks ass.
>>39514062
Yeah, but then everybody will know that I got raped by another man.
My first kiss was with a friend of my mom's. She was drunk and I was helping her down some stairs to her house. I couldn't stop thinking about her after that. I felt vulnerable. It was like Stockholme Syndrome or something. Two years later, I tried to fuck her. This is my story:
>>39514017
Bumping for milkies!
>>39514017
How about some greentext?
I tag along to a party at this woman's house. Jennifer. After its over I leave with my parents.
>I help my parents into the taxi but then say I need fresh air and will walk home.
>Parents to drunk to process information properly.
>Walk around the block a bit (because I really do need some fresh air to sober up) and then head back to Jennifers house.
>Can I fucking do this?
>No
>I walk away from the house again
>No, wait, yes I fucking can!
>I kneel down on the pavement and scuff my wrist as hard as possible against the concrete.
>AhhhFuuck.jpeg
>Big red graze, no bleeding though
>Head down the stairs and knock on Jennifers door.
>She opens the door, tipsy, and just stares at me not saying anything.
>I tell her the technical half-truth
>I was walking home in the fresh air and I fell down and scuffed my arm.
>She stares at me for a little longer and then springs into action.
>Drags me inside and starts talking about getting some disinfectant
>Still drunk and fairly autistic, so I stop her and shout
>NO
>I grab her arm and start kissing her
>To this day I still dont know if she was actually just trying to get me medical help or was guiding me toward the living room
>We get to the couch somehow and shes kissing me back but not saying anything
>Im surprised by how clumsy she is, could have been the alcohol or maybe it had just been a really long time for her
>Doesnt matter, getting hard now
>>
>I put her hand near my belt but she doesnt do anything with it
>Takes her hand away
>Put it back
>Takes it away
>Wtf?
>Really hard now, I start grinding my cock up against her leg
How often does /r9k/ masturbate?
It varies depending on my mood and such (and privacy of course), but something like 3-5 times a day usually.
Pretty much doing it all day long
>>39514012
typically going 2-3 times weekly but this past few days I upped it to daily
I tend to up it when I feel sick or trash in general and these past few days I've been staggering around with turboDOMs in my legs and lower back from a bunch of lifting I did Friday, no chance to sleep it off
Not weight lifting I threw out a bunch of furniture I didn't need
Racist Test!
If you had to choose which woman to be in a relationship with, which would it be? A beautiful, sexy, sassy black woman? Or this evil, twisted, dark sadistic demon with the legs of a deer?
>>39513982
Give me the demon!
New question
Would you rather have a big, beutiful, sassy black woman or a female version of Lord Beerus the destroyer?
anyone who seriously chooses the demon is a Nazi kkk skinhead motherfucker
>>39513982
>wanting a boring as fuck nigger over a demon
>>39514067
>being this autistic
How does r9k feel about this? Cuck shit or a redpill?
>>39513979
It's the truth.
No one really cares about others, they just want to keep and own others.
Emotional maintenance is a burden.
>>39513979
>implying there is a single soul on /r9k/ who has a "her"
>>39513979
Love urself famalam not some skank ass bitch.
Without going off their appearance
Share methods and stories
I have one, it's great for spotting hidden normalfags
>ask them what their opinion on suicide is
>if they answer like pic related then they're massive retards
>you have a completely different worldview than them
>you probably won't be able to relate to eachother
My sources tell me you're kind of a normalfag.
>befriending people in real life
No anon you are the normalfags
>they're massive retards
They have never experienced real suffering
> one chance in life
> born in russia
Just why. I hate my parents so much.
Also fuck you westerners with your """""""""problems""""""""".
Me too, buddy, me too. At least we're not from India.
t. Russian
>>39514015
There is no big difference between Russian and Indian citizenship. Actually India is better, warm and no conscription.
"Champ, I hate to interrupt your 'Kiss your Yamamoto' thread, but there's a job fair is being held tomorrow down at the city center. Lots of people will be hiring, and that's the perfect opportunity for us to meet them face-to-face. I'm driving you there, and we're gonna stay there until someone hires you on the spot. Get your best clothes ready, Champ. Button-down, dress pants, tie -- you name it. It's gonna be game time!"
"To make sure everything goes smoothly, Sherry down at HR will be over for dinner to take a look at your resume and give you some last-minute pointers on interviewing. Whaddya mean 'it's gonna be embarrassing?' You've gotta get a job Champ. Everyone works.It all starts with that first step, Champ. I didn't think I had the gumption to ruck through the blizzard of '67, but by God I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and snow shoes and plunged headlong into the driving snow. Sheer luck I barely got out of there with all my fingers and toes intact, but the boss was so impressed he gave me the job on the spot.I'm expecting a lot from you, Champ."
>>39513932
>"I hope no one interrupts me while I drink my coffee. God traffic was shocking today."
'b-but dad it is going to be e-e-embarrassing'
*spaghetti sauce drips out of pocket*
>>39514102
>"Come on now champ it's super easy. Look get in the car and il drive you to the jobs fare. The manager over there seems like a nice fellow. It's simply champ. You look the manager in the eye, give him a firm handshake and ask for a job. It's easy champ. It's all down to the handshake. I heard your friend chaf or Chad or whatever you call him is looking for staff. You were great friends in highschool! I'm sure he would give you a job! Like I said before champ. Look him in the eye give him a firm handshake and ask for a job. You can do it champ. I believe in you!"