Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2593. page

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>at the gym
>just ran for half an hour
>start feeling like I'm going to pass out but not before throwing up all over myself
>mash the stop button
>stumble over to the restroom
>stares into the toilet, feel barf inching up my throat
>FUCK NO, bunch of Chads just outside the stall changing and shit
>decide that I need to shit instead
>it takes a while, but some of the most foulest shits I've ever taken excretes
>takes a sneaky peek, looks pretty normal
>it's been 15 minutes now and I'm just sitting here, still feeling a little faint

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For me, it's alcohol, cause i wanna die young

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Anon, I understand you've been having some problem's lately. Do you want to tell me about them?

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im 19yo and i had sex for first time and i dont wanna have sex anymore, i'm too lazy for this shit, i had to suck her pussy to make her wet so i can put my dick, when i put my dick i cum in 1 fucking minute so i had to suck her pussy again, i waited 3 minutes i put my dick again and i fucked her for 5 minutes

and she didnt suck my dick, i didnt ask because i thought she would do it like in porn movies, in a natural way

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Get a job. Seriously get a job. As a cashier or anything. You are forced to interact with people on a normal basis and you'll find out that people aren't that bad.

>but I have had X experience in my past, therefore people are all bad.
If you think about it, the only reason this person in your past hurt you was because you gave them the ability to hurt you whether by (overly) trusting them or just not doing anything about it.

If you just want social interactions and the skills to be able to develop friendship, working a part time job is a great way to get rid of anxiety.

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"Champ, we've been through this before: It's time you got a job, and we won't stop until someone hires you right on the spot. Now it's as simple as walking in there and asking to speak with the manager. Stand up straight, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake. and hand him your resume. It's that easy, Champ."

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>Be me
>Born in 1999
>Same age as Maya Fey in-universe, so will always be same age as her
>She isn't real

This legitimately makes me sad, knowing she'll never be my gf. Am I past the point of no return, bots?

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>be me
>24
>depressed as fuck
>never express my grief to anyone and keep it all bottled up
>never had a gf or any sort of friends
>family says shit like "just be yourself" and "it gets better trust me" and bullshit like that
>decide to go see therapist
>shits expensive, but i want some actual advice and someone to confide in
>me and therapist talk for 2 hours, i tell her things ive never told anyone, im almost crying if im honest
>she hasn't said a word, but has written 5 pages of notes as i speak to her
>session comes to an end
>she looks over her notes and smiles at me
>"wow anon you've been through a lot, and i can see where your problems stem from and what you can do to improve your surroundings"
>She peers at her notes again
>"I think you just need to be yourself more"
>cancel next session
>

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how many women do you have sex with per week on average?

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What was your life like before it turned shit?

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>Be me
>5 months ago
>basement dweller
>got a job to be a wagecuck in an office
>reddit is not blocked
>it's_something.jpg
>being uncomfortable among coworkers
>The HH.RR it's kind of comfy and only women work there
>Got invited to lunch over there
>everybody talks about normie shit
>"Oh come on anon, tell us a funny story"
>remember a story of an anon that i read on /r/4chan about him changing the direction on the toilet paper on his office
>everybody laughs
>"oh anon, you are so funny"
>from that day on, i started to tell them stories of anons that i read on /r/4chan
>i was the fucking soul of lunch time
>actually getting the attention of a qt3.14 that works there because of "my" funny stories
>fucked her yesterday

Thank you, anons for being so fucking creative/miserable so i can tell your stories and get laid

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/r9k/, what are some true robot hobbies, and what are your personal favourite hobbies that aren't too popular that you partake in?

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>Oh fuck white boy! I can't believe it's going straight into my ass~

How do you respond?

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Do you have a good relationship with your father?

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>just finished up two whopper meals and a large onion rings
>used up all my calories for the day at 10am

it's not fucking fair, why can't the good tasting food have low calories?