Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2516. page

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>get promated to manager at the hardware store i work at
>gm invites me to his home for a bbq with him and his wife
>"bring a guest if you want" he says
>he says to arrive at 5, get there 15 minutes early, want to make a good impression
>"oh hey anon, i was just about to bring out the steaks. have a seat on the patio"
>"sounds good. oh, my date is in traffic, she will be here soon"
>his wife walks by in short white shorts and a tight shirt
>stomach rumbles
>"how do you want your steak done, anon?"
>"uh, medium"
>"ok..."
>crack open bear from the cooler i brought with me
>"want one sir?" i say
>"no, i don't drink, but you enjoy yourself"
>drink the beer
>"i guess your date will be driving tonight?"
>feel a sting around my belly button, stomach rumbles
>"yeah, she wi-"
>release liquid shit through mesh chair i am sitting on
>get up and leave, without a word
>have work tomorrow

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I need advice right now robots, I had left this site a while ago and I'm coming back to ask this question. So I messaged a girl I had a crush on in high school when I was a beta and she said she never knew I had a crush on her and always though I was pretty mean. Anyways, she hit me up the other day and asked if I wanted to come over, mind you were 2 states away. So my question is, does she want to smash? I'm not about to spend 300+ dollars on a flight to literally hang out. Thanks robots

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Okay So I'm a new fag first post so I'm not familiar with making a thread mostly read threads so this is my first attempt I don't know why but every time I see peeled lemons I get really fucking mad like I want to punch someone multiple times

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Let's have a nice POO POO PEE PEE thread my fellow NEET'S

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Does it count if I didn't cum?

>be me
>meet girl off tinder (I know very degenerate)
>pick her up drive to secluded parking lot
>get into back seat of car start making out, i start fingerbanging her
>she sucks my dink (she was very good)
>30 minutes go by of oral sex (fap 6 times the day before so my nut was being particularly resilient)
>do one of those things where you finger her pussy and put the fingers in her mouth for her to taste
>she says she tastes blood
>wtf.gif
>turn on light to check
>no blood, but she has hella razor burns on her pussy
>next thought that pops into my mind is herpes
>thinking of herpes and periods
>ohgod I should just finish this before I lose my boner for good.
>doesn't help that condoms usually make me go limp
>put condom and insert in her snatch
>can't get into good position to fuck her, dick starts going kinda limp, and keeps sliding out
>still thinking of herpes
>trying pumping harder to keep erection but alas, the thought of herpes had killed the bloodflow to my phallus
>pic related happens but in a car
>take her home and never contact her again

did it count /r9k/? D-did I lose my virginity?

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Anyone else drive distracted as absolute fuck?

I look down at my phone and browse 4chan or watch YouTUbe and only periodically look up

<perfect driving record

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I've fucked it; managed to get girlfriend preggoo, say I want out because of suicide threats as blackmail to stay with her and she told the popo I hit her and I'm facing charges. Now her durdynigga "ex" friend is posting about how girls are stupid giving abusive boyfriends second chances deeeeery me

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Less than 15 hours.

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Thus consience doth make cowards of time, the unworthy take cowards of us pause. There's the resolution devoutly to sleep; to be wish'd. To die: that we have, the thousand the pangs and the pangs and arrows of this regard the slings of action: when we end the insolence of great patient with and sweat undiscover'd country from whose ills we end to sleep to be: that that pith this more; and, by a sea of something end to sleep of action: when he himself might his regard the oppressor's wrong, there's th

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hloo

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Why are college students so fucking full of it, dumb and mentally ill?

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Hey r9k

Come check out our discord. Were a nice group of diverse individuals and we love to meet new friends.

/ktdZw

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What are some things that give you boners but probably shouldn't?

For me it's udders, like on cows and stuff.

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Anon, look away, my top is falling off

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>Looking on backpage for an escort
>90% of them are black girls

I feel bad. I live in Denver it's not even a predominantly black city and yet a large majority of the girls advertising on backpage are black