Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2360. page

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>get raised by autistic father who had a kinship with all animals
>end up being a huge sap for the critters myself
>every time I see a loose dog I end up having to catch it, put it on a lead, and get it home
>even if they're scared of people I spent the extra half hour trapping them
>get doggo home

>their owner just treats me like some weird fucker
>laugh it off and wish them a nice day
FUCK YOU YOU STUPID FUCKING MOUTH BREATHER! IF YOU CAN'T KEEP AN ANIMAL SAFE YOU SHOULDN'T OWN THE MOTHERFUCKING ANIMAL! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO THIS POOR FUCKING BEAST THAT IT WAS THIS SCARED OF ME? IT DRANK THREE BOWLS OF FUCKING WATER! ARE YOU JUST LEAVING IT IN THE YARD WITH NOTHING TO GOD DAMNED DRINK!? NO WONDER IT RAN OFF! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>start working out
>start caring about my hygiene
>suddenly suck at league of legends

What'd they mean by this

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I'm going to get a haircut, robots. I'm too lazy to take care of my hair and it's too damn hot around here to keep it during summer. I'm not good-looking anyway. It's approximately jaw-lenght. Not actually too anxious to go to the barber, he's a good guy who usually has no clients around, but his washing aide is pretty young and pretty sexy. I love it when she wraps her nimble fingers around my head and washes it with warm water. Fuck, if I actually had a chance with her (she's legal)

But I talk too much. What hairstyle should I go for?

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Day 2 of my stay with Chad has been complete. I went to NYC with him and his gf. They asked if I ever had a gf and I told them I was a KHHV. They both looked visibly surprised. They asked what type of girls I liked and I said pale yong looking virgin asian and white girls with bangs. They smirked and looked away at me. I'm at their house now and they are in the bedroom together. I'm just sitting here typing this. I wish I was back home alone. Will do a status update tomorrow. Chad will be gone all day tomorrow and I'll be left alone with his roastie stacy gf. Wish me luck, robots. Any idea what I should do?

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>try not to tak it up the ass
>end up taking it up the ass

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Ever had a weird dream /r9k/?

I had a really weird last night and i was so perplexed about it in the shower I got shampoo in my eyes.

Now in the afternoon I can only remember parts like driving around late at night (I don't own a car) and shooting a cat (I really like cats and have 3).

Anyone have these feels?

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Anyone else feels so inferior to women that they can't be turned on by hot girls anymore ? Big beautiful boobs and asses don't turn me on anymore, i'm only a short guy with small bent dick, i think that i'm just wayy below her.

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Life is truly a curse, friends. I'm about ready to go.

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>Play online games to escape reality and feel like I'm doing something good
>Get reminded of how shit I am every time I play.

Just wanted to vent

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>"Hey... is that ANON? Whoa man where have you been it's been so long? Brad and I are now managing directors at the top performing Hedge Fund in Toronto. I trust you're still working on your business ideas? -- Oh right, that'll be two big mac meals. Oh don't worry about the change, you seem to need it more than we do."

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pls post whatever you want but it better be comfy

OC here:
https://apaleskinmexican.bandcamp.com/album/loving-u-ep
(just listen the first two songs bc the other two songs are me singing in bad english and screaming)

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I can't take seriously circumcised normies. Their sexual experiences literally mean nothing when they can barely feel a thing.

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what is that one thing you wish you could forget? that one thing that you could have lived without. here's mine.

>break up with gf
>get back together just before festival
>hang out a lot at this festival
>sleep together
>just sleep
>kiss each other that morning
>go to the festival
>she is fucked on mdma
>kisses some guy in front of me
>i storm off
>few days after i forgive her
>fast forward 4 weeks
>we are drinking
>i finally ask her about why she did it
>says she doesnt know
>gets sad
>i leave
>i come back
>i cant find her
>she is in the toilet
>door is locked, she is on the phone
>i get her to open the door
>she has cut her wrist
>up the road, not across
>i fall back
>start hyperventilating
>she tells me its not my fault
>we go up to her room
>keep drinking
>talk about random, stupid shit
>sun is rising
>both pretty drunk at this point
>i tie her up
>both her arms are tied up
>she has band-aid on her arm
>her arm is bleeding from the rope
>we have sex
>her arm bleeds most of the time

somebody top me, please.

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Hey fellow robot, I'm turning 23 tomorrow and I'm slowly realising that I'm rotting away faster than I would like. None of these 8395 hours have been spent wisely, no valuable skills learned, no relationships formed, hell, I'm not even able to write in proper English. So robots, please tell me, what should I learn to become a better person?

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http://themuse.jezebel.com/i-m-tired-of-watching-brown-men-fall-in-love-with-white-1796522590

wow, I never thought I'd actually see it, to actually see female mental gymnastics in action, but this article is a fucking GOLDMINE of it.

This was posted by this brown girl I'm friends with on normiebook, the SAME brown girl not one month ago I was riding in a car with, who was lamenting the fact that she wants to date white guys, but they don't like her. The same girl who almost exclusively has dated white guys in the past, and who always bragged about getting with white guys. The SAME girl who in that car ride also talked about how blatantly racist white guys have been to her, but she still wants to date them. Every single brown girl I've come to know has been white washed up the wazoo, and has exclusively been dating white guys for the past several years. It's guaranteed this girl only posted this article because she was butthurt about white guys not liking her, an article which was also written by a butthurt brown woman.

I fucking hate women hahahaha