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>be me
>driving around with friend
>trying to find a homeless guy to buy us alcohol
>get ripped off, little fucker rides off on his bike
>me and my friend go look for him
>ask his homeless friends where the piece of shit went
>told us their camp was like on one of these trails
>go to this fairly open area that leads to multiple trails
>step on something
>feel my right foot get poked by something
>walk a couple more feet
>take my shoe off
>it's bleeding barely
>my mind immediately jumps to HIV and other shit
>see a green tent
>it might be them
>pussy out, want to get get this thing on my foot fixed up
>go home, take shower
>told my parents about it
>yelling at me for trying to buy alcohol
>they so "OPE WELL NOTHING WE CAN DO NOW"
>(even though there is an HIV cure within 72 hours right?)
>they just fucking call me stupid and paranoid
>this is how im going to fucking die
Nice knowin you /r9k/
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>>38509749
Underage? Goodbye indeed.
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>>38509763
I'm 18, you have to be 21 to buy alcohol where I am.
Original
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>>38509865
Poor baby boo got an ouchy boo boo. He's big enough to post on 4chin but not big enough to take his wittle footie to the hospital.
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>intrusive suicidal thoughts are getting worse
>can't do anything or tell anyone about it without being committed to a loony hospital
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>>38392694
Buy some niacin and take up to 3000 mgs a day you can get it on amazon
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>>38392694
It takes more than that for involuntary commitment. If you're scared just say you're having intrusive thoughts and you're not comfortable disclosing their contents
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>>38392694
You can tell me about it if you want. I can't stop you and I'm not patronizing enough to try and convince you that life is worth living when you've probably already heard that argument a hundred times, but I can sit here and listen to you talk about you feel without judging you for it.
>when I ask for a bit of democracy in the government I get tear gas'd and shot with rubber bullets
>when I ask for a bit of democracy in the workplace I get fired and blacklisted
how is this fair
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>>38509718
Should've been real bullets, we wouldn't have this problem
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>>38509718
Yeah yeah sure but what about those MUSLIMS and those BLACKS and what about those FEMINISTS now shut up you COMMUNIST and stop wanting to kill A 100 MILLION people and also JEWS and FREE MASON and muh WHITE GENOCIDE so you can't question the way society lol what are you, a sjw cuck? lmao so edgy xD kiddo..
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>>38509718
country? oregniolio
Anonymous
Mistress T, Stand-Up Comedienne 2017-07-15 07:35:29 Post No.38392651
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Mistress T, Stand-Up Comedienne 2017-07-15 07:35:29 Post No.38392651
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Mistress T, Stand-Up Comedienne
Anonymous
2017-07-15 07:35:29
Post No. 38392651
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>HELLOOOOOOOO MAANITOOOOBAAAAA!!!!
>Great to see you all tonight.
>Sorey, to everyone for our late start.
[white males nod respectfully]
>My slave saw a cock and nearly crashed our car.
[crowd chuckles as the tension leaves the room]
>Could not help himself.
>Bad Slave! Am I right, or am I right?
>Turns out
>That freakish cock that nearly killed us
[Mistress T is clearly pleased with what she's about to reveal]
>Was the US President
[Crowd is riveted in high-spirited righteous laughter]
>I kid, I kid, Sorey to any YANKS in the crowd tonight.
>We really do appreciate you coming to our fair Canada.
>And not to be a debbiedowner but would you please leave your firearms and bombs at home please?
[Solemn affirmations ripple through the crowd with furtive clapping my the scattered Americans]
>Sorey, where were we?
>Take my cuck, Please!
[Old joke reassures the audience]
>Oh I love me some Manitoba, lemme tell ya
>In fact an older gentleman just bought me a chesterfield so long as I sent him a couple pairs of my runners.
>Very open minded people here.
>Oh, ya, so I just flew in from Vancouver and boy is my slave's wallet empty.
>Good thing the hosers a Canadian submissive, ya know?
>If he was American he'd surely die in the streets
[Restrained laughter]
>Bankruptcy is no fun in the states, no-sir-ee
>But I do like the FinDom, I do.
>Ladies, any ladies in here?
>C'mon we all do it, more or less.
>Financial Domination that is.
>I'm just very, very good at it.
>For instance, one time, I ordered a Saudi Prince to wire me $7400, Canadian, to a Tim Hortons at 3AM, just so I would poop onto my iPad while Facetiming him and his drunk brothers and cousins.
>That's my little contribution to the war on terror, eh?
[A triggered betacuck cries out, voice cracking on the immediate syllable, "Racist!"]
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>>38392651
>Racist, Eh?
[the crowd quiets as an inebriated negro suddenly hollers "white bitch!"]
>Now, hold on dont spill your Molson, Mickey
>I run an afterschool clinic for at urban youth at risk of sexual emergencies.
>If black cocks were poutine, I'd have gained 500 lbs from this past week alone.
[intellectuals cheer]
>Mmm, Black cocks.
>Why do Americans call it a "dick?" What even is that, a dick? Darndest thing, a dick. You dont have to say it much for it to lose all meaning. Just more Yankee gibberish, ya know. Gimee a Fat Juicy Cock!
>Its not just Americans that got cocks for leaders now. Us Canucks got more than our fair share! Shame on me for casting the first stone, but, sorey not sorey, am I right?
[Mistress T looks to a sheepish beta in the front row]
>You get me, right?
["y-y....y-yes-ss"]
>Aw, he's scared, everyone!
>I'm not gonna make those virile beastly Mandingos in the back rape your boy pussy in front of your date!
[wounded, the beta murmurs, "s-she's no-oot my date. thats my mom"
>Oh, that's his mother everyone. I guess they can't fuck then, no-no-no, can't have that. Mother and Son intimate relations, what a thing that'd be, eh? Can you imagine rushing to clear the dinner table and clean the dishes just so the family could lay down the tarp or patchwork of yoga mats and just go at it with eachother?
>Call me sick, but that's just organization more than anything,
>Maybe a bit of incest.
>But mainly a well run household that has made time for fucking.
>Goddess Bless, Canada!
[Mistress T looks to the Mother]
>Miss, you should definitely fuck him. Or better yet, spank him and make him eat his cum.
[Wooping and woooing echos affirmatively]
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Mistress T's experimental comedy side is an acquired taste, but she's a big deal in Canada's underground comedy scene. She even mentions it on her blog in her 2017 NYE resolutions post.
I just wish there were videos of her performance.
please dont let roze threads die she's still relevant
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>>38509689
I love Rose, and I want her to come back.
I hoped she was making a comeback with the new vids she posted around christmas, but there hasn't been any more...
What do you think she's up to?
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>>38509856
Saw a thread on either here or /b/ a while back; some dude has been keeping tabs on her family's facebooks every now and then, there's a pretty recent photo of her so she definitely isn't dead. Probably teaching or some other physics-y stuff
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Who is that? Does he make videos or something?
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JDIMSA Thread
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PSA to all NEWFAGS
If you open a thread at least have the balls to commit to it. Look at this thread shit thread >>38386754 the moment OP ditched it it went to shit. I can't believe it. Fucking bullshit. Do NOT ditch your thread. Commit commit commit.
>pic unrelated
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>>38392564
>OP unrelated
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>>38392618
As OP I must reply to every reply in my thread
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>WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
What did he mean by this?
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Let me see the pain in your eyes. I'll decide if you belong here
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>he tells people that Evas are not mechas
Pic related is literally you.
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DAVID BECKHAM IS AT SOULCYCLE IN HOLLYWOOD RIGHT NOW
WYD KEKOIDS TECH GEEKS
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>>38392373
What is going on in this gif? Why would they let him have a gun/not check him?
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Because they find it entertaining. Different people enjoy different things. Is that really such a hard concept for you to wrap your mind around?
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>>38392582
Yes, because that still doesn't explain WHY THEY ENJOY IT.
If I enjoy smearing mustard all over my dick, the fact that I enjoy it doesn't make it any less unreasonable.
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Come chat with us.
X3CfNB2
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You've been hit by
*clap clap*
You've been struck by
*clap*
A smooth criminal
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Kek this girl is like 5'2 and still thinks 5'10 is too short..how the fuck do guys who are 5'8 or under survive in this cruel world?
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Shit added the wrong pic..here it is
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>>38509679
They go out with another girl? Better to be short then fat or even worse just butt ugly deformed.
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>>38509690
>only 5'10
that's about average height for a white guy, is this girl stupid or what? what is she expecting, and who the FUCK puts someone to the curb based on like 2-4" or whatever this twat wants so badly? What a shallow person.
in before mad manlet, i'm 5'10
and in before 5'10 is manlet, fuck off.