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What would you do if you woke up with a (fully functional) elephant's penis in place of your own?
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die from blood loss to the brain due to morning wood
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>>38616530
Kill myself. Why do you have to be such an autistic shit, OP?
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>>38616530
Kidnap little girls and reenact all the loli + huge_penis hentai I've fapped to
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Would you let a cute girl step on you?
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>>38616475
I like cute girls kick me in the nutsack. So sure if they step on me they are bound to step there. But I'd rather they be shoed like the Pic..cuz I don't want no gross ass feet touching me
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>tfw permanently scarred from that one ballbusting gif that always gets posted
heels are weapons
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>>38616585
What gif was it. I usually don't post stuff where the heel of the heel is om a testicle. I don't like the idea of possible piercing
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>"Ok, anon I followed you out here in the woods..now what was it you were so excited to show me out here?"
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Haha stupid roastie, you have fallen for my trap. Prepare to die.
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*rapes viciousIy*
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This cool trick of course
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>Robot doesnt think about minerals when chosing food
>Robot drinks tap water and no tap water
When will you guys realise the superiority of minerals
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*no mineral water
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>>38616318
I take a multivitamin + multimineral. All my micronutrients are accounted for. Bottled water is a meme.
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>>38616318
>not living dozens of miles away from the nearest city in an environmentally protected area
>not enjoying unpolluted spring water from an actual flowing spring
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>Wake up in your room
>See this
What do?
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please tell me you have more brown nipple webms
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-Fuck those tits
-Shoot her because it's MY private property
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>>38616252
Drink her nutritious breastmilk then fulfil my breastvore fantasy
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>smiled at a pretty girl on the train
>she didn't immediately smile back
Is this what it's like being a robot?? I feel horrible. How do you live like this??
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>get on the train
>old man sitting across from me and he tells a funny joke
>laugh and notice to my right a cute blonde with the biggest smile on her face towards me
>go instantly from laughing to a look of confusion
>she doesn't look at me again
i think smiling is just a contagious thing some people do if you do it to them
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Well... It's not like we have a choice anon. Not all of us were born into good homes to good socially healthy environments, or been given a free ride through life.
But whatever, no-one cares
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no, its even worse.
robots attract old people and repel young people
matter of fact, robots get the most respect from the elderly
Any femanons want to work as a bangmaid? $1000 a month not including free rent, food, water, electric. I'm not strict and you can still date just don't bring any guys over my place.
Please respond
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Wish I could throw a band a month to buy a wifey
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Where are you located? Are you a fatty?
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>>38616222
disgusting. fucking neck yourself stupid roastie-enabling degenerate cunt.
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>"Anon, your not like...part of the 'alt-right' nazi group or whatever, are you?"
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In fact, I am.
*unsheathes Swastika*
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Nah, I love Bashal al-Assad and hope for him to purge the terrorists
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>"heh, no my love, I am part of the trap-right, killing degenerates and subversive jewish influences while fucking that sweet sweet boipuss"
Anonymous
r9k population cleansing 2017-07-25 04:19:47 Post No.38616051
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r9k population cleansing 2017-07-25 04:19:47 Post No.38616051
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We had a poll. 1,000+ votes to get rid of the gays. Why are they still here? Why aren't we making a dedicated effort to get rid of them?
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>>38616051
because like 3 autists were changing their ip all day to vote 250 times each
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>>38616051
>Why aren't we making a dedicated effort to get rid of them?
We are. Join now and spread the cause
https://discord[dott]gg/fMCrAvz
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>>38616051
all of the self-hatred on r9k need to stop
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Why are mods letting us do whatever the fuck we want?
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>>38616021
Because the mods are Faggots who aren't doing their jobs at all.
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>>38616021
stop posting eromanga shit
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Maybe the mods went on a... Diet!
xD
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>summer is almost over
Just a little longer, bros...
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Winter sucks. Early spring and late fall are the best seasons.
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>>38615934
>It's only going up to 75 F today
Here's to an early fall blizzard guys
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>>38615945
Agreed
Spring and Autumn are the best seasons , both are aesthetic and comfy
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Why am I such a shithead, r9k?
>up all night (pdt)
>mom comes home from work at 7
>goes to change and comes back out to the kitchen to make decaf and then sleep
>i come out of my room and i talk to her about her night, everything
>i stayed up all night worried about her because of a friend who works the same job is dying right now
>get my mind off of it, and i ask her whats for breakfast
>she apparently got me a burrito while i was asleep the day before and had left it in the fridge
>brother ate it and I'm upset about it
>i make myself some cereal and sit down
>she tries to be playful with me like she used to when i was a kid
>take out my frustration on her, hence title of thread
>she gets upset, finishes her coffee and grabs her phone
>while she's leaving, she says "don't talk to me anymore."
>im sitting there alone and i finish my cereal and come back to my room to sit my ass back here for some more hours.
tl;dr I'm a jackass and what's the fastest way to kill yourself without access to a firearm
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>>38615899
How old are you? Once we know we can get to the fun suicide part.
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It's not a huge deal OP, just make sure you apologise later and learn not to take your anger out on other people, especially your mom.
At least you feel bad about it, a lot of moms really do have shithead sons who walk all over them and never feel any remorse.
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>>38616009
Just turned 18 about 2 weeks ago so this is my first post after browsing for about 5 years
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Should I hire a dominatrix so I can lick and worship her feet and asshole?
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>>38615892
most women aren't into guys that like being submissive. they all want to be dominated
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stop putting the pussy on a pedestal, it's the reason you are this desperate in the first place
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How do I become the next Mike Adriano / Prince Yashua / Mark Wood / Le Bald "Johnny Sinns" Brazzers Guy?
Who else here is unable to smile?
>be me
>full time employee at starcucks coffee
>actually good doing this
>everything but to connect with costumers
>this conection thing seems to be really serious
>constantly annoyed by manager for this
>we need to give a sincere smile Anon! so smile now!
>trying to use any power will to smile
>only achieve smile curve in my mouth who is imposible to see or rapist smile
>no like that! you look tired!
>guess why bitch
>fucking district manager comes twice a week to check everything
>excuse to use her fucking discount card in the store
>always being respectful and try to smile
>she do not say anything and then goes to store manager to complain about the lack of connection
>store is a shit and partners are fucking retards but that is not important
>Anon you are the worst worker here! just create an emotional connection
>try this once asking a costumer how was his day
>they ignore me or just have the eyes on their mobiles
>really close to be fired
>just because a smile
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Just smile like a normal human Anon
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Just got fired from starbucks before quitting. They take customer service seriously, which is good but some of the partners are just such retards. My boss for example used to shout in a high pitched voice at partners and sometimes customers. Fucking glad I left that shit hole
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>be robot
>work in place where you have to be sociable
That is the fucking problem
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>you will never experience teenage love
>you will never know what it feels like to be loved since middle school
>you will never know how it feels to receive a shy first kiss from your first true love
>you will never get to discover your bodies together
>you will never have her support you through your school exams and college applications.
>now you're 24+ and all you will get to experience is to fuck sad mentally ill girls off dating apps.
Why live?
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>>38615758
to experience the comfort of locking myself away in my room and just beeing myself
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>>38615799
>you will never get to be yourself with someone else
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sucks, anon.
hang in there.
death will come for all of us soon enough.