Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1473. page

okay my friend

please reply to my reply

>>38749735
sent, friendo. is something giving you the blues?

Only if I got multiple husbands.

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>>38750092
Polyandry. It's far rarer than polygyny for obvious reasons, but OP was vague enough to allow it.

I basically am yeah. Works out fo rme.

>>38749718
here's an even worse one
>on okcupid
>check global profiles
>find the perfect girl
>unabashed nympho
>gamer
>INFP (she actually had the personality test results in her bio)
>wholesome moralfag values
>overall 93% match with my questionairre results
>lives in fucking new york, 1000+ miles away

should've asked her for steam acc so we could at least be buddies.
if you live in new york, best luck to ya.

>>38749718
nobody has any shit online dating experiences?

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>>38749718
Had experience similar to that yesterday.
>playing Oblivion
>making hand to hand orc with big fatass cartoon face
>random chick messages me
>"Your name popped up from the random friend search, I'm looking for some new people to talk to,"
>k
>"Whatcha doin'?"
>nigga I'm playin video games what the fuck else would I be doing
>"I just got done playing infinite warfare, it's summer so I'm just enjoying my time with my friendos."
>k
>"Wanna try something?"
>Sure, whatever.
>"Me and my friend came up with this weird idea, I thought she was crazy at first, but it was really fun. Don't laugh if I tell you."
>"what is it?"
>"We fuck ourselves with random objects on stream."
>k
>"I think you're pretty cool so I'll set up a room for you and my friend, here's the link."
>k
>"Just set up a profile and put in your credit card and you're good to go."
>They've activated my trap card.
>"Seems shady, but I'm bored so whatever."
>"Yeah well, you're pretty shady yourself."
>skepticism instensifies after this
>"You're telling me that out of all the millions of people you chose me to watch you stir your guts around with a dildo?"
>"Yep, special page for special people. brb getting ready"
>"This is a very elaborate attempt to steal my credit card info"
>no response after this
>go to link
>fill in form with fake meme info
>her profile pic is a generic shot of a white woman's ass
>360 and walk away
>check her xbox account
>0 trophies
>entire feed consists of friend requests
>double 180 and walk away
>get back to oblivion
>it shut off because I was away from the game for too long
>lost all the work I put into making that dumbass orc face
>just turn on youtube and go to sleep
Smart fuckin' bot.
Bastard just wanted to mess up my Oblivion playthrough.

>>38749709
I like it :)
Keep up the good work OP

This looks like shit. Like you can tell the person who did this shit was autistic as fuck. What the fuck? And someone had the audacity to lie and say they like it? Either theyre just as autistic as you are or they dont wanna hurt your wittle feewings. Pathetic.

>>38749810
How about you shut the fuck Up?
If you're gonna criticise, at least make it constructive.

If these guys aren't then I don't know what a chad is

>>38749657
there the protagonist that save people and always win of course they are

>>38749706
>he hasn't read part 6

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What is the point of these threads? All you guys do is say dumb shit like that, OP. No body cares about some computer background. I thought these threads were supposed to be about pointing out some of the more funny or relatable tropes we grew up with, not nonsense like this. Your's isn't even all that bad, but the thread will slowly devolve into shit like "2 stairs" or "ran in the hallway"

>that kid who asked if you watched hentai and made shit anime drawings

>>38749612
>Lamborghini

I know right. What a loser. I had a Maserati.

>>38749477
>half because I'm into that and half because she'd be the least picked one and I want to make her feel better

believe you me, she won't be the least picked

>>38749495
I sometimes have an alternative fantasy where I ask for the aging madam of the brothel to accompany me

bump, I can't be the only one with cringe fantasies

no fap is a meme isn't it?

you probably jerk off too much. Jerking off less often feel way better anyway

>>38749530
is once or twice a day too much? i have a friend that faps 4-5 times a day and still gets boners

no fair

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ill be your firned ;_;

>>38749384
d-do you have steam fellow cat anon

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>>38749486
yes and discord and irc and etc

i have all these weays to keep in contact with friends but now friends to keep in contact with ;_;

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>>38749332
>start reflecting on life
>oh fuck fuck fuck here it comes again
>start pounding booze to drown the feels

This unitonically what I'm doing right now at 11pm because contemplating my life and the hell that awaits is me is too painful. Sleep is the only reprieve we have from it, why are you scared?

>>38749413
sleep is a double whammy.
Going to sleep means admitting I've wasted another day, that the future is coming, that there is something fundamentally wrong with my avoidant personality.
Waking up means having to face another day, a forceful reminder of all the things that lead me to this state, and ultimately a promise that the cycle will repeat.

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>>38749332
>when you look back and realize that no matter what choices you made in the past you probably picked best outcome
>could have been dead by now
>could have gone to jail
Never had a chance to make it without pretending to be someone im not

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>>38749296
Wish i couldn't relate to this feel so much

>>38749296
I can definitely relate. Why is this even a thing?

>>38749296
u seem cute l hate you

>>38749289
You either fall headlong into this delusion that romance has any real meaning beyond feelings, and you have a great time, or you think the person is physically ugly or in some way unattractive, and then you see all their real and actual characteristics and personality traits, which are typically unflattering truths for a large majority of people, and are disgusted and utterly creeped out.

The difference is the "fun" version is complete emotional delusion that almost always burns you out over time, especially as the couple ages and becomes unattractive, and the "creepy" version actually involves real character traits.

Relationships are mostly work like everything else in life.

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>>38749289
>implying anybody that knows that feel should be on /r9k/
A mixture of dopamine high and crippling anxiety I think. Someone without brain problems might tell you otherwise though.

>>38749289
On the one hand, you're flattered and you heart swells.

On the other, it makes you feel very self-conscious and awkward.

I say give it a shot, you'll probably end up beating yourself up later on if you don't try. I suppose any relationship is a risk, but the alternative is being alone. I should say that I'm saying this as someone who has never romantically pursued anyone, much less been cheated on

>>38749411
You're right. I gotta give this a shot, it'll probably be foolish not to. I've always wanted her. I gotta go get her.

>>38749271
Not that you deserve to be cheated on, but maybe think about why that happened to you TWICE before you jump into another relationship without confidence. Twerk on urself and then go for it

>>38749233
If she's nice and detests hook up culture, yes.

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>>38749254
would you let a nice Latina woman sit on your face?

>>38749524
Forgot about this thread, sorry.
Uh, if we were in a long term relationship and our future together was looking well, yes.

existentially murder yourself

If beating your dick is making you think about that, should probably just take a break from jerking off an do something else instead.

>>38749212
Think of it this way anon: If you hadn't wanked, and refuse to wank, eventually they'll come out in a nocturnal emission or they'll just die in your balls. Even if you managed to impregnate a woman, all but one of the sperm would die anyways in most cases.