File: 1501923379089.png (151KB, 658x415px) Image search:
[Google]
151KB, 658x415px
"Great job applying to those jobs, Champ. I'll let you go back to your room to be with your Internet friends, but only after I've finished my coffee."
13 Posts / 9 Images
View this topic
>>
I've had enough of your shit, dad. I'm taking you out AND myself. Time to die.
>>
File: handshakedadbane.png (749KB, 612x408px) Image search:
[Google]
749KB, 612x408px
>>38866684
"Firearms and indignation, powerful agents to the uninitiated. But I've changed my mind and I'm driving you around town to look for a job today, Champ. It's as simple as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there."
>>
File: 1501781092648.png (311KB, 439x456px) Image search:
[Google]
311KB, 439x456px
>>38866710
Too late, dad.
>gargling noises
>body falls limp
File: 14422487693511.png (98KB, 393x328px) Image search:
[Google]
98KB, 393x328px
>tfw no dommy mommy robot bf who forces you to edge all day
7 Posts / 5 Images
View this topic
>>
File: 5460547+_7b428ff9647bb491f0bb8804f6bf97d1.png (35KB, 315x320px) Image search:
[Google]
35KB, 315x320px
I-I'll force you
>>
>>38866570
Aww, poor thing is scared of edging by himself.
>>
>tfw no subby robot bf to edge with all day
File: feeling cute af lol.png (642KB, 894x1232px) Image search:
[Google]
642KB, 894x1232px
so /r9k/?
was xhe cute af lol?
11 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
I hope god comes soon and culls this plsnet.
>>
>>38866569
I love how the whole not wanting to offend anyone train has gotten so far as to allow a man, with beard, to throw on lipstick, post himself online, and have tons of people kissing his ass because he's "different". This society's view on criticism has gotten so out of wack that I'm actually afraid of the repercussions of it. The whole fat-acceptance movement makes people think it's okay to not take care of their bodies, the whole gender diversity and queer movement makes people think it's okay to be attention whores and throw just fucking lipstick on to be "SO different and progressive XDDD gib me attention pls", and the mental illness thing is cool makes people think that their problems shouldn't be talked about with a counselor because they'll lose the cool kid points at the lunch table with their friends trying to see who takes more pills and has more daddy issues.
>>
>>38866569
>This person is considered mentally stable
who is the most pathetic person on /r9k/?
i nominate me
>33 years old
>only had 1 gf in my life
>khv until age 32
>no friends
>dont talk to my family
>just got fired from longterm job
>NEET
>no hobbies except playing video games and shitposting
>fat
>bald
>ugly
6 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
yea you're pathetic
>>
>>38866500
Bro you got nothing on me
> 26
> Left my job for another one so had to change countries
> Had to go live with my gf bc she also got good paying job there
> Now i only have weekends off and I have to do chores around the house.
Also 5'7''.
>>
>Had a gf
Automatically disqualified.
Guess I'll throw myself in the mix.
>28, 29 in a month.
>no gf ever
>ugly
>short
>only friends are from way back in high school
>living with parents (this one is out of my control)
>own several onaholes which my mom has found at one point.
That's about it.
File: stock-photo-closeup-portrait-of-young-man-thinking-daydreaming-deeply-about-something-resting-face-on-fist-172266044.jpg (29KB, 450x364px) Image search:
[Google]
29KB, 450x364px
You have three objectives that must be completed before you go to sleep:
>shower
>shit
>masturbate
All of these objectives need to happen with the same level of immediacy. What order do you decide to complete them in and why?
7 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
Shit, because I don't like shitting myself. Masturbate, then shower to get rid of all that filth.
>>
>>38866501
This. Plus masturbating while you need to shit is uncomfortable
>>
>>38866481
I put off shitting until I can't put it off any longer desu
File: grandpareversed.jpg (153KB, 670x375px) Image search:
[Google]
153KB, 670x375px
"Why don't you ask that nice waitress out to dinner, Billy? That's how you meet people. You'll never know if you don't try!"
50 Posts / 15 Images
View this topic
>>
>>38866403
Grandpa I am 41 years old. That waitress looks about 16.
>>
>Grandpa, she's a vile whore. Do I need to show you my "Modern Degeneracy" Powerpoint presentation again?
>>
File: 1499877980902.jpg (12KB, 211x300px) Image search:
[Google]
12KB, 211x300px
>>38866431
"Champ, listen to what your grandpa just said. It's as simple as looking that nice girl in the eye, standing up straight, giving her a firm handshake, and asking her out to dinner. How hard could that be?"
File: T21yQZZ.jpg (219KB, 2485x1720px) Image search:
[Google]
219KB, 2485x1720px
>I heard it was your birthday Anon! Here, I've got a present for you!
>BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPT
11 Posts / 4 Images
View this topic
>>
*sniff sniff* thanks mommy
>>
>>38866389
*uses freeze power on fart so it drops in mid waft*
Nice try, /vp/.
It was yesterday.
>>
File: 1501635014077.jpg (274KB, 700x608px) Image search:
[Google]
274KB, 700x608px
I wish I could spend every minute huffing farts
File: 1*g4zsvHxslR-946bI_twV-w.jpg (27KB, 400x388px) Image search:
[Google]
27KB, 400x388px
>have one life
>my parents name me after my dad
>my dad becomes a sex offender later in his life
>googling my name brings up sex offender warnings
8 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
>my dads the kiddie diddler not me
sure buddy
>>
>>38866387
your dad sounds like a cool guy.
what sex offense did he commit?
>>
>>38866404
got a 17 year old in another state to send him nudes
he never met her
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/aug/04/dont-want-to-leave-husband-feel-suffocated-having-affair
You go girl!
6 Posts / 1 Images
View this topic
>>
Women were a mistake. Jesus
>>
>>38866373
>https://www.theguardian.com
shouldn't bother with this anon
>>
Well the advice given in the article was actually spot on. They saw through her victim hood right away.
I guarantee this woman is Asian. Asian women who marry for citizenship are super sensitive about just becoming housewives. So it sounds like she's purposely destroying her marriage because she's afraid of being a housewife, probably due to watching her mother's sad life.
Hopefully the dude wises up and throws her out, cutting off all contact.
File: britfeel august 3.jpg (817KB, 2553x1534px) Image search:
[Google]
817KB, 2553x1534px
Big wet smelly NEET farts edition
524 Posts / 111 Images
View this topic
>>
>>38866326
Wojak is thinking of a kettle, might just put a brew on mysefl
>>
first for dad believes everything he reads in the daily mail
>>
first for everyone having a really pleasant day
File: 1501301879065.jpg (5KB, 192x250px) Image search:
[Google]
5KB, 192x250px
>have been literally alone for like 4 years
>By alone I mean 4 years of house>work work>routine with literally no contact with anyone other than work related people
>I suddenly receive a call from a "friend" after 4 years of no contact
>He asked me to help him in his food stall at the festival
>I accepted because I had nothing else to do
>The day comes.
>The place so fucking crowded families and music everywhere
>I was working non stop, it was pretty exhausting while the friend was talking with customers
>When things calmed down a little bit, I looked around and something hit me
>Every one around my age is walking around with families or friends
>They were laughing, joking, so fucking happy.
>Suddenly I started thinking about how lonely I am and about the events that led me to this lonely shitty life
>My anxiety suddenly went through the roof
>I went to the toilet and stayed there
>My eyes started watering, thinking about the lost years that I will never get
>Thinking about how things will be like that forever
>The urge of going back home was unbearable
>I called my "friend" and told him I don't feel well
>The train was full of couples and families
>That sight became like suffering for me
>I just put in my earphones and looked at the ground until I reached home
>When I went back I just lied on the bed staring at the roof for about 30min
>Sadness is killing me.
I wasn't like that before, but after so long being alone, being around people became pure suffering for me.
Who is like me here?
How do we change this robots? Please I don't want to end alone, it is killing me.
13 Posts / 3 Images
View this topic
>>
File: 1501900905288.jpg (42KB, 600x600px) Image search:
[Google]
42KB, 600x600px
>>38866270
I would like to add that I am khv
>>
>>38866270
I'm jealous. People won't leave me alone for even one day.
>>
I'm killing my loneliness by hanging out with my volunteer group. I urge you to volunteer and make friends.
File: 1501875890785.png (536KB, 776x840px) Image search:
[Google]
536KB, 776x840px
>Robogfs will never be a reality in your lifetime
Just kill me already ;_;
14 Posts / 6 Images
View this topic
>>
>>38866258
They probably will be desu, we'll just be too old to get any enjoyment out of them.
I want to be able to use them when I'm a ripe teen in his prime, not when I'm 60+ when I can't get hard and have to worry about heart problems...
>>
>>38866258
are you certain about this fact because it seems that the hardware and software are coming along smoothly
remember that the year 2000 was only 17 years ago and i see no signs of slowing down
>>
File: 1499857789676.gif (469KB, 512x807px) Image search:
[Google]
469KB, 512x807px
>>38866258
>far future with robo gfs
>still uses flip phone
File: degpe-read-2.jpg (39KB, 657x527px) Image search:
[Google]
39KB, 657x527px
>Sex is not a human right
Let's discuss this argument. It's proven that lack of sex makes you suffer. It's proven that it can literally make you go mad. And it's proven that going without it leads to an earlier death due to both heightened stress levels and your immune system shutting down, among other things. Chad and Stacy are attempting genocide.
17 Posts / 3 Images
View this topic
>>
You have doubts about the size of your robotic penis?
>>
>>38866256
they're not attempting genocide, they're basically just telling you "tough luck" for not being able to get a gf.
>>
>>38866329
But no children means literally deprivation of life for your children. How would they react if you made them sterile? Killed their children even.
Anonymous
Self improvement info thread 2017-08-05 11:51:20 Post No.38866218
[Report] Image search: [Google]
Self improvement info thread 2017-08-05 11:51:20 Post No.38866218
[Report] Image search: [Google]
File: 5b43b1eadc1f1388aaa454a6eecaa4e7.jpg (12KB, 236x314px) Image search:
[Google]
12KB, 236x314px
Self improvement info thread
Anonymous
2017-08-05 11:51:20
Post No. 38866218
[Report]
[View this topic]
Let's try something different for a change. This is a thread for self improvement and all information related, from health to mental health.
I'd like this thread to focus on useful literature.
I don't have the files on this current machine but for example:
Nancy Clark's Sports Nutrition Guidebook
Easily googlable and freely downloadable.
I have a PDF on my laptop that's basically a thesis on knee physical therapy.
Glancing through threads in the catalog just now, I was inspired to make this thread after seeing an anon recommend books in an eyelet thread.
>"
>The Basics of Natural Eyesight Improvement
>The Cure of Imperfect Sight
>Vision for Life
>Stop Vision Loss Now
>Take Off Your Glasses and See
General health (reverse nearly all disease):
>The Recipe For Living Without Disease"
^ More of this kind of shit.
11 Posts / 2 Images
View this topic
>>
I would also recommend Robert Greene's books.
-48 Laws of Power
-Mastery
>>
How about some books on how to be a normie. Not memeing. All the self help books are aimed at improving from normie tier. Gimme some stuff for improving from shutin NEET tier retard who's never been socialized properly.
>>
>>38866218
Mein Kampf inspired me to get /fit/
File: 938340284.jpg (85KB, 804x802px) Image search:
[Google]
85KB, 804x802px
>they found the cummy container
6 Posts / 3 Images
View this topic
>>
>>38866092
>Having a cum container
You vile piece of shit
>>
File: 1501241752397.jpg (64KB, 499x480px) Image search:
[Google]
64KB, 499x480px
>>38866092
>Grandma found my scream tunnel
>>
File: 1501540762603.jpg (50KB, 418x359px) Image search:
[Google]
50KB, 418x359px
>sister unlocked the drawer of goblins in despair