Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1239. page

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Anyone else think sex is such an abstract and fucking weird act? It sounds so awkward, showing your genitals to another person and intimately touching each other with said genitalia. I would never do it, even if I wanted to I could never bear myself to somehow initiate a sex session.

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Tried to have sex with a roastie last night...I always fantasized about eating pussy but this pussy man...it smelled like the grave. I couldn't even get hard enough to get the condom on.

I think I'm gay now.

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>globalism is bad

Time to hop off the pol train kids

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Okay fellow Space robots
Tonight 12:00 Est.
We will invade /b/
For too long they have been the section of 4chan people give a shit about
But No More!
Tonight we will raid /b/ and end them once and for all!

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I'm graduating college soon and I want to be an elementary teacher, It's the only job I can see myself enjoying while stress free.
What do you think fellow robots?

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horrifying parent experiences
>be me
>be 23
>meet my first girlfriend that I met at the grocery store out of all places but I won't go into the details
>we gave each other our virginity like a stereotypical hentai
>in love with her and we have sex regularly and without anything to prevent pregnancy because she has very infrequent periods
>gf gets pregnant and I panic
>she wants to keep it because she thinks we're ready for a family because I we both have a good income from my IT job at a large local company and she travels for business meetings at company branches around the west coast not to mention she's always wanted to start a family
>we marry before our kid is born and now live together on the west coast
>day my child is born and it's a beautiful daughter
>Parent feels hit hard
>fast forward to now. I'm now 39 and my daughter is 16
TheyGrowUpSoFast.jpg
>she is a nice, quite girl, we don't shelter her but some things are to weird even for a 16 yo
>cleaning our (my wife and mines bedroom) when I notice my wife forgot a sensitive item.
>it's a dildo/vibrator I gave as a present for my wife for whenever she travels
>about 2 days later I'm cleaning my daughter's room and I decided to wash her bed sheets
>there is a wet spot on the sheets and bed cover
>me and my wife know she experiments but this has never happened
>just work around it and get the washing machine going when I noticed a lone sock under her bed and inside that sock was my wifes dildo
>I'm horrified not because she was playing with herself, not because she was using my wife's dildo, but because it isn't any ordinary dildo but a very specific type of dildo
>it was a dildo made from a mold of my own penis
>my daughter used a dildo that is an exact copy of my penis, the size, the veins, EVERYTHING
I decided to post this for you robots to laugh at and to see if anybody has any Idea of what I should do (no wincest) I really have no idea of What to do
pic related of I used for the dildo

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Robots, I need your input on life, only a robot truly understands another robot.

>23 year old
>only son
>friendless robot
>third worldler
>no neetbux where I live so I have to work
>stressful job (Big 4 audit)
>move out at alone at 22 because parents kept telling me I'm an ungrateful shit

>start heavily drinking at 18
>start ritalin, weed and acid around 20
>at 22 I already use everyday lots of shit (weed, acid, MDMA, 2CB, cocaine, ritaline, trammies, clonazepam, DXM, dramamine, alcohol and still not enough)
>only reason I don't do heroin is because I'm too autistic to get it
>attempted suicide twice, ended up in ER in 2 consecutive weeks
>get mild psychosis from time to time because of drugs

>literally use alone locked up in my rented room every single second of my free time, crying from time to time

>some days after I turn 23 almost die of an OD
>most agonizing pain ever
>actually accepted my death
>wake up alive the following day, still with the agonizing pain
>ended up psychotic at the same time
>5 days in the psych ward in a psychotic state
>30 days in rehab


Cont next post.

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>gf's guardian is getting suspicious of why she wants to hang out with me so much
>get a text saying "we need to talk about amanda"

Should I ignore the text and just disappear from their lives? I'm fucking scared right now, I know it's not illegal but IDK what she's going to say to me.

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>tfw no aging Chad with a belly bf

why live

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>/a/ is full of basement dwellers
>/b/ is underage
>/co/ is a Tumblr safespace
>/lgbt/ is literally a Tumblr safespace
>/r9k/ is /soc/: pussy edition
>/pol/ is conspiracy cancer the board
>/lit/ is pseud
>/sci/ is pseud
>/his/ is /pol/: pussy edition
>/v/ is underage
>/vp/ is furry central
>/tv/ is GoT: the board
>/mu/ has always been shit
>all other boards are either dead or irrelevant
>/sp/ somehow is decent

What the fuck happened

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CC's maxed out, quit my job, no money, hate my parents, no GF, and nothing to live for. What's the best way to suicide?

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>tfw not normie enough for a gf

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How did you feel when early 2000s culture and shows faded away?

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If reincarnation is real, chances are you will experience hell after you die

From most likelineses to less likely
>chance x800000000 filthy insect like a fly or ant
>chance x5000 Wild rat/mouse or labrat
>chance x300 Wild bird
>chance x780 Other wild animals(fully random but for example less chance to be a snake than a bird)
>chance x100Animal food (Turkey, pig, cow, goat you name it)
>chance x1 HUMAN
>chance x0.4 pet
>chance x0.03 An animal in a zoo to be laughed at

How does it feel that the hell you're living in now is nothing compared to the rest, do you wanna be born as chicken in a chickenfarm??

>but anon, if reincarnation is real we would be humans cuz animals arent like us!!!
did you ever drink so much vodka b4 or used drugs that your head started to hurt and you stopped remembering stuff like that happened a second ago? that you cant properly talk anymore, you dont know what your doing and that you're just going by instinct?
well thats the same as being born as a animal, but the thing is. Pain DoES hurt, you will still feel that.

You got scared now? Good, thats where I want you to be, because no matter how shitty your life is now, you will experience literal hell after this for billions years worth of reincarnation before your next time as a human.
So yeah, make the most out of it, and don't even think about killing yourself because you are literally condemning yourself

Pic related is you the next time your born, as a spider is slowly eating you while keeping you alive over a span of weeks

b happy ur alive as a human now okay?

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>stop smoking weed
>suddenly want a gf more than anything
damn you healthy test levels. I'm not even horny I just want companionship.