Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 11209. page

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>Don't wake up sweetie
>Mommy just needs to relieve some stress

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How does it feel like to kiss a pretty girl who also wants to kiss you because she likes you and not because she lost some bet with her friends?

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Looks like I have prostate cancer, lads.
I don't feel like typing much, so can you post whatever and try to cheer me up?

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>5'5 160lb-ish natty bodybuilder Jeff Nippard with his Stacey-tier gf Robin

Reminder that a 5'5, clean looking, lean and muscular Jeff will get more women of better quality than a 6'4, fat and dishevelled Sam Hyde.

Facelets BTFO

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britbongs are so fucking ugly, that's a fact. Now explain, why this man was a solid 20/20 ?

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Is Chad real? A relative of mine ALWAYS talks about Chad - about how Chad has it easy, about how Chad gets all the women.

But, how I figure it, there is always another Chad to out-Chad Chad. So, who is Chad, truly? I'm not very convinced about the existence of Chad, to be quite honest, anon.

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>be 22 year old virgin robot, slightly autistic but fun
>dad tells me that he has had enough of his son being such a faggot even tho I am not
>takes me to a brothel that he apparently regularly visits called Angels
>its a stripclub with rooms in the back
>dad whips out his gold card
>adjustfedora.jpg
>dad whispers something in the ear of the hostess
>suddenly we walk inside, tens of amazing tits and some fucking 11/10 everywhere
>holyfuck.jpg
>get hard. dad gets me four girls that are all around me
>dad is getting a lapdance
>"hey anon, let me dance for you"
>hot blonde starts rubbing on my dick, tells me to take off her panties
>OMFG.exe
>once she is done, dad tells her something
>"come with me anon" the blonde says
>go to room
>she tells me to take a shower while she prepares
>ohyes.exe
>decide to jack off in shower really quickly while she is preparing the bed so I don't cum too fast; oldest trick in the book
>precum everywhere, rub my dick twice and cum with the force of a thousand warlords
>"I'm ready anon!"
>cummed so hard im flaccid
>she was sucking my dick with a condom for 30 minutes
>never got hard until time ran out
>mfw I cucked myself and am still a virgin

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Lord God
I come to you a sinner
And I humbly repent for my sins
I believe that Jesus is Lord
l believe that you raised him from the dead
I will ask that Jesus will come to my life
And be my Lord and Savior
I receive Jesus to take control of my life
And that I may live for him from this day forth
Thank you Lord Jesus for saving me with your precious blood
In Jesus name, Amen

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/r9k/, should i spend my money on a beach and weed or fucking a black girl ?

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Has anyone here ever left a shit small town for a big city? Tell me how

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>wife found the Klein bottle

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In a really bad place right now guys, girl really did a number on my heart. Does anyone care to hear the story?

Pic related. The red head

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https://youtu.be/0a6zMYHC98A

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>get 750+ matches on tinder
>be apparently good looking and 'attractive guy'
>fuck one chubby 5/10 who broke it off because I didn't want it to be serious and have a date with one other girl who I wasn't really attracted to
>most girls don't even reply no matter if i say something like 'hey' or put more effort into it

explain this

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Ok i know a lot of us play with this idea from time to time but this time i'm committed.
I'm done being a NEET, i want to move out, i want to be free, i want to be able to afford to take part in the great waifu era.

But i'm not going to fucking college, i know myself and i know i would become an hero on day 2.

Any brobots manged to do it? any wagecucks that can give advice?


What coding or whatever should i learn?
>can self learn in a few months
>doesn't update much so i wont have to go back to learning all the time
>a lot of jobs on the market
>good pay
>comfy work at my own pace with no one micromanaging me
>not much socializing


Fellow NEET robots, join me on this glorious journey of becoming a wagecuck.

Wagecucks, guide us and carry our stuff.

REEEEEE