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You wake up in an endless white space. Shallow warm water caresses your ankles and covers the featureless flat surface that stretches as far as the eye can see.
You are overcome with the sudden feeling that you could will anything to happen, and also that there is nothing in this world except for you, the water and the ground.
What do you do with your powers of omnipotence in your new universe?
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>>34311319
Picard's worst episodes were originally written for Kirk.
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I touch myself. As my seed touches the water, life springs forth.
I go around the expansive place, pleasuring myself and creating life.
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cum in the water because i'm ultra edgy
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>tfw 21yo
>tfw kissless virgin
>tfw talking to my muslim neighbour
>tfw 'yeaah i convert to islam last year' with sarcasm
>tfw he didnt undestand the sarcasm
>tfw he asks for my hand to marry his qt daughter
help me, his daughter is 7/10, i see her everyday but she has hijab so i cant see her hair, what can i do?
im a neet living with my parents, im sad because im virgin but i think im not ready to get a wife and make children, also im not muslim, i can stop eating pork or alcohol, thats not a problem but i cant believe in god
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biggest problem here is you wont be able to support his daughter's shopping fetish. if you get a job this is over and settled and you get a cutie 3d wifu. become the normie that is deep inside you
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>>34311257
At least Picard used his head, the only head Kirk used was between his pants.
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>>34311257
if this is legit op, i would fucking do it.
Sure you have to put up with all the bronze age bullshit, but in return you get a faithful wife with strong family values and a whole new support system.
you won't be drained for resources and be discarded as an emotional tampon
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>so called "friends" never invite me anywhere
Where do i find better friends?
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Steam is only place for friends kiddo
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>so called friends invite you to everything even though you always reject them because you're always 'ill'
LEAVE ME ALONE
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How about you start finding fun things to do to invite them to for once? Nobody always wants to lug that fifth wheel around everywhere who basically just leeches
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>"how much money is in your bank account?"
>"how old are you?"
>"where did you go to college?"
>"what's your opinion on race relations?"
>"post your first name"
>"fill out these questionnaires and post your results"
>"do you own a weapon? where in your house do you keep it?"
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>le gubmit is gonna profile you!!!! (even though they could find out all these things instantly)
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>>34311061
Kirk was a leader of followers. That's the only reason he (almost) got away with it.
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>>34311061
>people with internet connections think the government doesn't already have all this information
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>go to /b/
>brows first page
>flooded with garbage
>catalogue
>only garbage
Hmm well, pff /b/ was never good haha, lets check /r9k/ and see how everyone is doing, theres always a couple of good threads right?
Wrong
>I want a tranny gf
>online dating
>why do people protest trump
>Okay unironicly and all memes aside. How can liking traps or trans people make you gay?
>If this ass arouses you, you might be gay.
>Post your hand thread (seriously...just)
etc
Get out!
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I don't know, picard is a pretty good captain but does he have that WOW factor that kirk did?
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Seems as if robots have left this board. (Almost) nobody complains about normies anymore and instead threads are full of anons talking about wanting a gf.
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>>34311340
honestly ive left more or less, i just come back every once in a while hoping things have blown over, but these faggots are here to stay it seems, other chans are starting to get infected as well...
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>I voted for Trump because of the inevitable Purge night we all need
>I voted for Trump because we need another holocaust for non-whites and gays
>I voted for Trump just so we could have a world similar to V For Vendetta
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I voted for him because he's the only one that would kick the bankers and lobbyists out of Washington
And reduce our dependence on foreign oil by drilling for it ourselves
He's the objective best choice
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>>34311039
Trump is just the white Obama, keeps talking how he will change shit while everything will stay the same at the end
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>>34311019
I'm too stupid to actually understand what I don't like about him beyond the obvious (racist, sexual predator, no political experience) so someone explain his politics to me
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>Havnt shat in days
>Decide to fix this
>Eat fucktonnes of strong curry and vindaloo
>Eat pizza, loads of bran stuff and lots of fibre
>Woke up this morning with severe abdomimal aches
>Shitactivated.exe
>Run to bathroom
>Struggle with this collosus shit for the better part of 20 minutes
>Clenching and sweating
>Can smell blood too, my ass is being sliced but itll all be worth it
>Afterwards im physically exhausted
>Stand up to wipe and turn around to admire my hard work
>Its not there
>It slipped down the u bend
How could this happen anons? I worked so hard and feel so betrayed.
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>>34311004
>tfw constipated stomach
>tfw haven't taken a shit for 5 days now
help me bros, I can feel my bowels puncturing with each passing day
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>>34311004
there's something wrong with you scots
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>>34311004
Take a laxative, you'll be shitting rivers
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Why did people protest Obama? He won the election. You guys lost, get over it. I'm not protesting when a vacuous, attention-whoring, spray on tanned jackass has won, so why did people protest when Obama won?
You know, on second thought, maybe I will go join a protest.
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>>34310964
K.
>You have been muted etc.
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He was black DUH.
just like hilary was a woman.
I know we've progressed but some ppl still feel that way.
Its not inhearently bad, its normal and natural.they just aren't there yet. They will someday tho. We have patience.
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>>34310964
I will never forget Obama roasting Trump at the correspondents dinner.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7eJpWOY3r18
Just look at Trump. Humiliated. Cucked unbelievably. Trump then goes crazy with rage because a fag like him can't let it go. He runs for president...and wins. Finally he's popular. But oh wait, most of America immediately hates Trump and mainstream America adores Obama.
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I was watching this yesterday... why so many feels ;_; help me robots
>TFW no taiga GF
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>>34310844
I often find romance anime overbearing, the emotional outbursts become ridiculous. There's a few more subtle ones like Maison Ikkoku, altho in the case of that it gets tiresome to see one awkward misunderstanding after another for some 100 eps. Todadora is one of those that try way too hard, I managed to finish it but it was pretty shitty in my book.
Get a Taiga daki and some drugs and you'll be all settled though. If you want you can probably makeup yourself some Dragons eyes easily,or an hero and be with her forever
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>>34310981
Taiga daki is an option desu, I saw one IRL and secretly i want one
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>>34311047
Would your parents have anything to say about it?
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Alright r9k, help me get some sweet roast beef.
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My interests
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>>34310816
>>34310850
>Troy
You have a chad name f am, you should be right. Pretend to have chad interest and remove the reddit tier ones.
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>>34310816
OK OP
>Step 1
asking a bunch of kissless virgin to help you get laid is not going to work
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Has a girl (not family) ever farted in front of you?
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I like the feetfags better. Just throwing that out there.
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>>34310814
2 past gfs have farted directly in my face while 69ing
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>>34311304
I wish girls could fart with their feet
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I'm in need of a new Steam avatar, using pic related for about 5 years and I think it's time to move on.
Dubs decides my new avi, will deliver
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You'll be the most popular frog on steam
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Try this one, OP.
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Go for this one, orginalo!
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Why would anyone join the military if your country is not being invaded by a foreign power?
>be constantly yelled at by other people
>have constant pressure to not fuck up because everyone is relying on you
>get sent to foreign countries to fight for something you don't care about
>risk seeing your friends die or yourself dying
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It builds character
Helps develop skills
Makes you stronger
Helps you deal with stress
Keeps you fit
Everyone should at least train in the army for some time in there life. Helps keep them to earth
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stop being a fag, you're going to cry because some instructor is yelling at you?
>brazilian army sergeant
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>>34310775
because they got abused by their caregivers and haven't processed it so need to feel hypermasculine to compensate but also feel it's normal and almost comforting to blindly follow orders and be yelled at
Anonymous
2nd anniversary of the departure 2017-01-21 02:58:29 Post No.34310573
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2nd anniversary of the departure
Anonymous
2017-01-21 02:58:29
Post No. 34310573
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2 years ago today. Pay respects in this Moot thread
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>>34310573
Sad face. I am a sad. Sadz.
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>>34310573
fuck this kike
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>>34310573
Who is gone for 2 years?
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Getting the beta out of you
I'm tired of being a bitch so i'm working on hammering out old beta-isms and replacing them with more commanding phrases. So far, instead of:
"umm.. I-i have a question" or "can i ask you something?" You say:
>Let me ask you something, *person's first name* (Or, "MASKEW SUMP'N RICK.)
Instead of "Umm.. I'm not sure yet", "i don't know", or "i don't t-think so", you say:
>"i'm gonna have to say no on that", "no", or "no, i don't think so."
Instead of "Excuse me?" Or "sorry, can you say that again?" You say:
>DO WHAT? (Bellow it out sharply and abruptly)
That's all i have so far. What do you have?
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once I started standing like CIA just to amuse myself, with my hands on my belt, and my boss became visibly scared of me and asked if there was a problem, now I do it on purpose whenever I need to seem alpha
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>>34310626
The power stance is real
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>>34310544
I'd say take out saying their first name. Also nothing wrong with saying "excuse me" as long as you don't sound super submissive about it.
You're making progress mang.