Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 10715. page

>>34381816
>tfw I only dream about masturbating, never sex
What do I mean by this?

>>34381816
>You weren't even man enough to cum inside a girl in your dreams.
You're more of a virgin than before

>>34381829

>tfw I only dream about getting publicly humiliated.

>Each night before I go to sleep she'll put headphones on me and start a playlist.
>First song must be really relaxing because I never stay awake to actually remember any of the programming afterwards

Triggers I've found throught trial and error:
> Anytime she dangles a shoe off her foot I can't look away or think about anything else, not a full on trance though
>"Pop goes..." whatever she says after that I can't remember until she reminds me, it can be scary in a really sexy way. I've forgotten my name, how to count, how to write etc for a bit. As far as i'm aware she puts everything back in my head, I hope.
>general tit fixation
>oral (giving) fixation, she's really done a number on me because its more than a fetish now, I've cum hands free before just because i was going down on her
>The big one was she must've planted some triggers about proposing; came from almost no stimulation after giving her the ring, calling me "Fiance/Husband/Hubby" registers in my brain as a synonym for slave now, its craxy how much control she has over me

>>34381760
I am very interested, OP, go on

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>>34381760
Interesting
Please share

>>34381716
Meh, my room is too comfy.

>>34381716
I like how you say this as if the opposite weren't the case for some 3000 years.

>>34382040
>3000 years

Europeans didn't start colonizing other countries until 400 years ago at most, never causing demographic displacement in a vast majority of them, and since then we've been kicked out of all those countries leaving them in much better shape than we found them.

kys shitskin

what how why

You're on the money with the fiber stuff. Eat some vegetables and fruit, at least an apple or banana a day, and your shits will be much more manageable.

1. Clean up your diet and hydrate
2. Wipe until the paper is clean
3. If number 2 fails, take a quick butt shower after you poop or get a bidet.

league o legends tbw senpai

F-Zero GX.
I first got it when I was 8 years old, it quickly became my favorite game and is still my most favorite game today.

The characters, the music, the tracks and the machines make the game absolutely perfect, I wish I could play it right now but my computer is shit.

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over 9000 hours in tutorial stage

>>34381317
let's not

originaI

>>34381317
>be positive
>be yourself
>don't think of the negatives
>say affirmations

fuck off normo

Too late for me. 4 am and I have already fucking ruined my day.

>>34381296
I'm 6'4 and black, not sure what you mean. You just gotta set up a solid profile dude so your personality shines through.

6'3 white chad here, sorry that you have a small penis Tyrone... but I'll fuck LaQuisha and Stacy and tell them all about you I promise! Maybe they'll pity you!

>>34381296
>You fucks
Who you talking to? You're preaching to the choir here.
>>34381309
Oh right. Fucking Tyrone.

If the defendent is black just be as southern white hillbilly as possible
make you self look like the opposite of what the defendent would want

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>>34381288
>have to report for furry duty today

>>34381384
yiff yiff hurray :3333

Original fuckingbumpstupid

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Bumparoo you faggit ass mods, lets get this thread going chop chop!

>>34381415

TWENTY. YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I SAID MOTHERFUCKING TWENTY! TWENTY. POUNDS. OF. PUSSY. AND. ASS. T W E N T Y

Don't do it
It's a shit-tier habit
Do other drugs instead
The slow descent into lung disease is not fun and is not to be romanticized as a method of suicide- it will give you more than enough time to regret your decisions and by then it will be too late.

That won't solve a damn thing and you know it kiddo

>>34381190
Go up to the counter and say "gimme a fucken ciggy cunt"

>>34381065
>Who /iron will/ here?

not you

>>34381065
>iron will
How long can you refrain from masturbating?

>>34381088
Not OP, but longest I've gone in the past year is one week. I'm currently not even 3 days since my last fap and it's really difficult.

>>34381006
I'm sorry, but in this case it's the roasties fault. Anyone can see that this was a bad idea. She's lucky if she's still alive.

If I stick my head in an alligator's mouth and it bites my head off, who will people blame?

I'm a muslim. Can I be trusted?

>>34381006
She was a drug head and they offered her some drugs, but then just gave her roofies and fucked her while she was out, streamed it all on facebook, and laughed at her as they said they raped her.

A lethal injection and mandatory donation of organs would be more sensible.

>>34380983

This. Forcing people to be around you would just make them hate you more OP

>>34380972
If you made it more broad so that I could benefit from this that'd be great.

No, everybody knows how to play the guitar, and Chad will better at it than you like everything else.

Long answer: looks only matter

Short answer: no

>>34380958
If you can play well and, perhaps more importantly, sing well then you'll get some attention.

Regret every breath, brother

>>34380924
What do you regret the most?

This is original

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>>34380917
I regret dumping my high school girlfriend. She even came to see me, crying, begging for me to take her back. I hugged her and she left and for a moment I thought about chasing after her and never letting go, but instead I went back inside and played Team Fortress 2.

I haven't been with a girl since. I wonder what would've happened if I'd gone after her that day.