Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 10511. page

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>>34487536
Let's make this a rare pepe/helper thread, then!

Post rares! (rare wojaks are fine too)

OP. You are a faggot. I know you're reading this. Your mom will die unless you reply to this message. So, what will it be? Will you risk it? Will you show your true colors?

>>34487536
>>34487596
He's going to leave the thread what a pussy

>>34487502
Fag. Asses fatter than you have friends. You probably have a mental disorder or were very sheltered.

Maybe you won't get a non fat girlfriend, but friends are pretty easy to get if you have social skills.

Get on my level fucker. I'm ready to fucking kill myself because I hate every single thing about myself, and I deny that this is my body and that this conscious thing is me.

I can't possibly be me right now. I don't exist as this person. I'm not this person. This person is a piece of shit who wants to be that person, but I am not that person FUCK HIM SO MUCH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK HIM. I hate him. I'm not him. I only exist as myself without the qualities of said piece of crap that's trapping my soul in his meat body as a form of torture. He deserves to fucking die that piece of shit. Fuck him.

>>34487502
>tfw too fat to jerk off twice without getting heart attack

>>34487502
>be me, almost obese, make some online friends
>get invited to one guys house who is hosting a LAN party
>about ten people there
>within 2 minutes of arriving I have to do a stinky fart
>everyone coughing and gagging, have to open windows
>I don't admit to it, but they suspect me
>ask if I can use his couch as a seat as I can't fit onto the other chairs
>he is cool
>we buy pizzas and split the cost
>I eat almost three whole pizzas without realizing it
>bert stares from the other players
>playing games
>have to fart again, unfortunately it's a noisy one
>everyone gags a little but windows all open so it dissipates
>can feel wetness in my pants
>stay in seat as afraid to get up and reveal my mess
>get up, see a massive shit stain on the white couch
>cover it with my sweater every time I get up to go toilet or for drink of fizzy, to hide my shame
>at end of the night cover it with a newspaper just before I leave
>never got invited to his house again

Hey bro wanna just like masturbate and chill out for a bit

>>34487471
I HOPE SOMEONE CAN HELP ME
MAKE SOME SENSE OF THIS

>>34487435
Just look them straight in the eyes past the point of it being uncomfortable. It will hurt at first but keep it up. I'm in the process of overcoming it too.

Stupid fucking cumskin I hope you die

did she actually steal from you? do you have any proof of her stealing? if not just apologize and tell her and whoever she might have reported it to that it was a misunderstanding

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>>34487429
That actually made me kek

They almost always play green

>>34487378
Can confirm I play green.

>>34487399
Can confirm, your looking for beta orbiters

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Not exactly but about 30 minutes away

>>34487204
im in the other armpit, oshawa

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>>34487317
hmm would you take the GO bus here so I could touch your boipucci??

>>34487340
shieeeeeet

>>34487198
When my mother died and my first thought was how I really wished I had the chance to have sex with her or that it was at least an open casket funeral so I could imprint her image of final time for a good fap.

>>34487198
Um I don't there's there's a single moment...
It's just idk how to talk to people. Can't keep a convo irl, to someone on the internet, co workers etc + I have zero experience with anything relationship related at 26.
Clubs, sex, parents, etc hell I still live with parents. If I ever took a girl out I'd have literally no idea what to do, let alone keep one long term. It's just too late for me

when I bought the extra tinder service, used the boost, and got 0 matches near a very large city

>>34487176
This is the wrong place to ask a question about confession help

how do you like someone when you haven't met them

you like the image you have of them
which is different from the "online them"
and you place too much emphasis on words
which, irl, would only be heard in passing

good for you but i'm confused how you both can like each other? without knowing how that person is in person?

>>34487176
>to a girl who lives abroad
Sorry OP, but it loos like you fell for a Romance Scam. They generate $200mil per year from these scams

>>34487151
You should have taken me ya jerk

no man

hope it tastes good

>>34487164
You're too cute to be taken to olive garden

>>34487143
Hey, my really cool and handsome dad does that for his fat ass son too and he wants to know if your mom is single.

post fat pussy

>>34487143
>robots friends used to make fun of you because you hit the spacebar with your index finger

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bruh u dont have to

just dont fucking talk to them

done and done

next.

>>34487281
>Pretend 51% of the world doesn't exist

>>34487338
im not saying going 100% autist, my dude

what im saying is just do you, minus all the female bullshit

it's ok to talk to the female cashier, you autist
it's ok to look your female boss in the eye, you autist

but if it aint necessary or it's not going to benefit you, don't interact with women

been doing this for 4 years now and, lo and behold, i have exactly zero women problems

>>34487130
is he an angel?

>>34487144
Yep.

oregags

>>34487130
>kaworu
wtf? They spelled it Kaoru in the version I watched

and I am pretty sure that would be the correct spelling from my limited understanding of Japanese, also Kaoru just sounds a lot more natural imo

also Shinji is cuter. This is now a Shinji thread

>>34487092
nah i just lost my appetite

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>>34487092
>tfw no awkward aspie friend group to act retarded with

>>34487092
sure but me and green jacket will sit alone

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Hey, at least you're good at sucking.

>>34487075
Dedicate yourself to one thing fully and keep working at it until it becomes your obsession. Knowing someone better than you at that subject just means they're your next goal.

>>34487278
I kinda already dedicate most of my time to video games, its just everyone gets better than me super fast.

Survival Bump :)

Anyone seen it?

I hate that no show wearing hippie fuck

He always rambles on about his native ancestors like he didn't grow up in middle class suburbia