Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 10109. page

I'm only 27

i don't degrease pizza enough

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I'm 21 years old, it's over..

>tfw fart 50 times a day
>stopped drinking milk
>Fart 49 times a day

Please send help.

Morning after drinking half a rack of PBR.
Never smelled anything more foul in my life

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>>34698197
man that was funny

anyone? Any normies wanna chime in on this shit?

>>34698010
Something something degeneracy something something

Oops sorry i thought i was somewhere else.

Normie here. This is not normie behaviour, this is either total manslut behaviour or a dude who has only had one gf in his life, which he never had to miss more than 2 weeks.

Most normal people have a lover, then break up and are sexless for some time, then find a new lover until they end up settling down.

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never refer to that ugly unwashed fag as a twink again

every time I see him I get more angry

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>>34697991
feel free to show off your dick to tumblr if you're endowed

but some people shouldnt be prissy fancy gayboys

I might fuck that one
I can't find any good twink/femboy porn, all the best twinks are turning into traps or trannys

Forget about her and move on. She's a whore.

>>34697975
You need to stop playing video games their beginning to warp your perceptions

Before I even read I was thinking "i met her online"

You gotta stop with this meeting over a video game shit. They are always whores like that.

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iktf bro

>mom makes big dinner when i say i just want a small portion
>there is leftovers
>have to eat all of it that night

goddamn fucking bitch

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>>34697953
>""have"" to eat it

I'm fat too buddy but don't make excuses for yourself. That's exactly why you're so fat.

>>34697980

fuck off, stop victim blaming

>>34697936
So then go to /pol/, you'll be in good company there.

>>34697936
why not just get inteligent yourself too?

>>34697936
I don't hate them, but I understand why you would. I'm sort of jealous of them

>>34697810
>I could beat up anyone on this board. Anyone.

prove it

>>34697810
*draws dual colt 1911s*
*one laser sight is on your face*
*one laser sight is on your crotch*

My pistols are painted black and white to represent my dual nature of ultimate gentleman and utterly demented a$$hole...what side are you going to turn activate....boy?...

Haha wow! You sure are displaying your DOMINANCE

>>34697802
Anon, sex shop clerks, or clerks in general don't give a single fuck what you're buying, you can walk in, choose anything, pay and walk out fine, you will never be their worst customer even if you stutter when talking.

Maybe store it in a shoe box in your closet, or alongside any other mess in your room, unless your parents creep through your stuff it's easy to hide.

>>34697802
>How is it possible to buy a fleshlight in person without feeling awkward and ashamed?
It's not. That's why you buy it online.

>Also where the fuck do I store it if I live in my parents house?
Hide it in plain sight.

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The porn store clerk and your parents know you masturbate, just walk into sex store and buy it like a boss, and put it in your sock drawer.

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>>34697789
I fucking hate normies who steal my yummies from the pantry.

Don't they know that a fat persons yummies are sacred?

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>get coupons
>have to buy two pizzas
>leave them in my room
>eat them over the course of three days

>was a thin kid by default
>barely ate and got full quickly
>always saved leftovers in the fridge
>go back for it the next day and it's gone
>happens every time
>beg family to stop doing this
>they don't
>start forcing myself to eat all the food on my plate at every meal
>it becomes a habit
>become chubby
>family starts talking shit about my weight
>start eating more to suppress emotions
>get fatter
>and fatter
>and fatter

and that's how i became 270 lbs bros

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Dear H.
I don't quite know what it is about you that's got me like this. You've got me going crazy over you, all I want to do is hold you in my arms and tell you just how beautiful I think you are. I want to get to know you better so badly and I wish you could make these feelings last. But there's nothing I can do, I know this one-sided romance could only ever end in slowly fading heartache.

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Dear A,

You're literally a robot's dream girl. I can't think of any other Asian girl who supports Trump and is a /mu/tant at that. I'd love to be there for you IRL. You don't even know I exist and you live in another state but I've been following your life for the past two or so years and it's a real treat to see you grow. I'm sorry for what you're going through at home and I hope your shithead dad gets what he deserves in the future. You're going to make it in life. Maybe when I'm rich we can vacation to Hawaii and relax in the sand like how you always wanted.

I love the way you wear that sundress. I don't love the way you conspire to shoot up your school since I wouldn't be able to take it if something serious happened to you.

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Dear E,
I don't know what I did to you, I don't know exactly why you left or why you started to feel differently for me, and I'm sorry for anything I did. I miss you ever single day, and it doesn't help that now I'm stuck in your country, missing the most important person in my life. I love you, and I always will. I'll always be yours.

I can unironically relate to him and my only friend is just like Nightowl too

>>34697710
*nite owl

>>34697710
Do you know any naked blue men?

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Def this song right here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zbaXVPV6X0

Walked home on last day of high school while playing it having realized I didn't do a single memorable thing in it. So every time I hear I remember depressing high school days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jxvy7W9bqo

I don't even know why, it just floods me with emotion.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B4qdpiad_Q0

literally every time but you have to play it to know why

>>34697530
Yeah, they usually give good advice too. I'd listen to what up hear and follow its instructions.

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There is a vent too. Could that be the source of the voices?

The voices can be explained, but first, what are they saying?

>>34697488
>The only good """"fembot"""" is one who doesn't browse this board and doesn't have 10-20 guys she can talk to at a moment's notice.

hey im dating one like this

she stopped browsing after we met around christmas time

she's still absolutely crazy tho

all fembots are

funny how you can be a guy and browse this site and be a semi decent human being but if you're a girl and browse this site there's some serious shit up with you

>>34697488
Actually I've met a "pure" one before.

Problem was she didn't want anything to do with anybody, myself included.

At least I know they exist though...

>>34697488
Just replying because Raistlin is the best character ever