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Post No. 14177796
fell in love with a girl last summer (im 24 and she's 23), desperately and strangely in love, we spent time together, we had a good time, we laughed, but she had a boyfriend, he beated her once, i man'd up, talked to him about it, helped her through, they break up. she's free, and after 3 years without sex or even having someone close to me, somethings about to happen, or so i thought.
then i found the girl is an ex-prostitute (call girl as she likes to call her), had dozens of clients. it sicked me. but you know how we are, you want what you don't have, i even saw posts of her clients in a forum, and i was just crazy to fuck her...and the worse, i couldnt help grow my feelings for her...i loved her. more and more each day.
"i can't have sex with you anon". and then she left me. for another stupid guy who probably beats her like the last one.
So, after a 3 year drought, my self esteem was low. i dont seem very shy, have friends, go out, have fun, but deep inside i feel like the shyest person. i cant talk to a girl properly know. after loving this one, finding out her past, loving her still, reading topics about her sex, still not having sex.....i'm just broken. sexually broken, severely sexually damaged...you probably gonna reccomend me meeting a prostitute. thought too much about it. but i can't do it. i'm beggining to feel suicidal about this and i thing i would kill myself after because its against everything i believe...idk...i'm young but i feel like everythings lost. need your help.