What does /pol/ think about spanking/ Is it traumatizing? Is it bad for the child? Does it work? Is it abuse?
>What does /pol/ think about spanking?
Women like knowing you're in charge.
I can count maybe 5 times I was threatened with spanking and maybe 3 times my parents went through with it. I never got hit more than i deserved and I always deserved to get hit. I think the important part to remember is never to hit your kids out of anger. If your going to spank them stay calm, don't blind rage smack them. It's punishment for them, not relief for you.
It's a sign of negligent parenting. The parents who beat their children most are almost always the same who can't rationally explain their kids WHY they can('t)/shouldn('t) do something.
When you feel the necesitty to punish your children, do it passively (for instance, forbid them something they like until X), as active punishment can lead to personality disorders in the adulthood . However, you must know possitive rewards are preferable over punishment (but not always applicable).
And these are all proven facts with which most children psychologysts agree.
I don't do it personally, but I see it as something that can be used if you have exhausted all other options.
The removal of privileges works better, which is what most middle class parents can and should do, however a lot of lower class parents just don't have that option.
Additionally some parents over do it and it turns into a beating. A spanking is not hitting nor is it a whooping.
Spanking is absolutely fine when used very sparingly.
My parents only spanked me once or twice, but when they did it was the ultimate shame.
I think it's actually important for establishing a dominant role as a parent.
Saying "no" over and over again doesn't work all the time. Sometimes you just can't reason with a child. Physical punishment is something they can understand on a very fundamental level.
Depends on how, and to what degree it is done.
Also, on the age of the child. At certain age, roughly during the early teenage years, spanking is no longer really that effective, and only fosters resentment and rebellion in the child.
may dad never laid his hands on me, i think we may have hugged after i was sworn in as an attorney and after his father (my grandfather) who were both very close with died. he taught me respect through his actions. there was probably a few time i should have gotten a wallop but he normally let me realize the consequences of my own actions. I turned out way more mentally healthy than the two people i knew whose parents used physical punishment.
also i don't know if its a chicken and egg thing but most people who hit their kids are trashy degenerates/drunks/emotionally unstable, and their kids end up emotionally unstable/trashy degenerates who hit their kids.
have some confidence, act respectably and eventually your kid will too. it just might take them a little while to get there.
My grandparents beat the ever living shit out of me up until i was 14 (after that i got good at hiding shit) and I consider myself extremely successful vs my peers
So yes it works
Spare the rod, spoil the child. You should also be whipping them on the back, not the butt so as to inflict the appropriate amount of pain and leave marks that will remind them of how they failed to obey.
t. Evangelical Christian
Spanking is acceptable, yes, but only to show your child what the consequences are. They learn in the end. But, never hit your child with satisfaction.
If it's your daughter and you're the father, only slap her wrist/hand
>Why not hit them beforehand so they don't get uppity as teens?
because getting uppity is what teens do. in this era being a teenager means trying on new identities and learning what you are good/bad at. no matter what you do to your kids durring their teenage years they will get uppity, so why turn them into violent assholes who resent their parents for being unable to handle their problems without violence.
when a parent is too mentally limited to design a system to punish bad child behaviour, the only thing left phisical punishment
It's the stupidest way to solve the nurturing problematics, and with no good consequences to build a man or a woman with virtue, as it's the opposite
If parents can't design a system of incentives aimed for the children to have good behaviour always, then they're just another pair of mediocre parents
Actual parent here.
There's really only a short period of time when spanking is effective. If you are spanking your kid when they are younger than 18 months, you're doing it too early. They don't understand cause and effect by that age. If you are spanking your kid that is 5 or older, you are doing it too late. You probably should have spanked them more when they were younger. Also, they understand consequences by that age so you can take away privileges or even threaten them with spanking and they will comply, as long as they know you aren't bluffing.
My mom used to kick the shit out of me because she was miserable and took her frustrations out on me until i turned about 14, was too big and didn't take it anymore and was rarely at home anymore.
I have a strong distrust of women because of it. Take of this what you will.
I just laughed at my parents when they went to spank me. They ended up laughing as well so it never worked. If I was grounded I'd sneak out a window.
Yep, needs tougher punishment but no idea what type. You can't punch a child ... Maybe belt across the bum? Children definitely need spanked or they grow up like me. I needed spanked ...
Kids who don't get spanked grow up to be pussies. People seem to forget there are legit physical consequences to being fucking retarded. I love when betas will argue and argue trying to be bad ass linguists. These arguments always draw to a standstill and then you show them what it is to be an Alpha and tear the shit out of all of them. Kids dont understand why they shouldn't jump on the couch because the motherfucker is perfectly designed to jump on. The do understand that if I jump on this couch dad will fuck me up. My old man beat the piss out of me a couple times for fucking up. He also beat the brakes off a couple folks for fucking with me. He was the fucking Alpha.
>Is it traumatizing?
No. When I was young I was upset I was in trouble not because of the punishment. When I stopped caring the punishment had no control over me and was stopped anyway.
I have an 8 year old. Never spanked her, never needed too: I can put the fear of god into her with my voice and demeanor alone. However, who the fuck am I to tell other parents how to raise their children?
Some kids just need an assbeating
I wish there was some fucking place to send dumbass rebellious youths so they can get some fucking dicipline burned into them. My younger sister is out of fucking control. I've pretty much resorted to just telling her she's a fucking dumbass and to fuck off back to her room and listen to her edgy 80s music.
As long as it's only used immediately when the kid really really fucks up.
It has to be used immediately after the kid really really fucks up, if you wait even a minute it's useless.
It also has to be light, strong enough to hurt on impact but light enough so the kid doesn't have lasting pain.
What you should never ever do is beat up your kid, that's fucked up degenerate nigger tier.
As a Father, spanking your son is a sure fire way to cause him to grow up to be a sissy boy gay faggot. One of my good friends A.J from Jr. High had a Dad who liked to big dick him at home. Always with the "I'm the Man of the house hurr durr I demand respect, I pay the bills you will obey me bitch." all through high school I had to stick up for him because he wouldn't stand up for himself. And about a year after we finished HS I had to abandon him because I saw he was sucking cock in the closet.
Spanking and belittling your daughter is fine desu. But you have to have some sort of mutual respect for your Son. Teach him how to be a Man, not bend over for authority.
>Is it traumatizing
Nigga, my father once hit me with a fucking tea pot
>sissy white people
This how you raise a proper son.
>Meanwhile, the boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger.
t. Dr. James Dobson
I wish my parents would have beaten my ass at least once when I was younger. I think I might be moving in a better direction in life if they had. Trouble was my mom was a mom and my dad was old as fuck so by the time I was 16 or so, beating my ass didn't really seem like an attractive option to him.
Actual parent here.
I agree with the 18 months thing but disagree with the 5+.
My kids are little badasses and I only get responses from them with the threat of a spanking.
That being said, every kid is different and it's all dependent on maturity.
I remember even as a kid when I watched American movies and parents undressed their little boys to slap their ass... was totally disturbing.
I received slaps on my face but nothing traumatizing.
Is beating a child justified? Spanking is probably okay but what about slapping, punching etc.?
I remember that my mother used to slap me really hard when I lied to her about something. When I didn't understand some things in school especially in math she used to punch me in the gut so hard that I couldn't breathe for a while.
When I didn't do my homework and she found out sometimes I received a beating so bad that I ended up unconscious.
This was pretty normal for me when I was a child and for some reason I absolutely don't resent my mother for what she did to me almost weekly.
depends when you use it, how will you scold your kid.
you must be absolutely sure that the kids understands. you for example cannot hit him for holding hands with girl. the kid would be extremetly confused. not only that but the thing you punish your kid might not be the same thing the kid thinks he is taking the punishment for
however, if the kid does something that is life threatening, like going on thin ice on his own when you are near water, make sure he understands how important it is to not on on ice the moment the winter arrives, but only if the ice has firmly settled. might still be unnerving for even thinking of kid going on ice alone, but you are likely to be with him so you have clear vision of him and in hearing distance. cellphones are great for this too.
I got put in a group with other disobedient children where they tried to teach us to behave and act responsibly. I just laughed at them too and told them to fuck off. It just leads to self destruction and a lot of angry and frustrated people because they can't help.
I'm in my 20's now, living alone but stilll am like a spoiled brat. I'll die this way. I'm happy ...
its supposed to be traumatizing. physical punishment is the quickest to heal, while psychological punishment lingers for a long time. it is very effective if its done quickly after offense. it should not be the first option, but reserved for repeat offenses and blatant disregard of instruction.
spanking seems like a bad idea
since 90% of black parents spank their kids, and I don't want to copy niggers
i mean look how their kids turn out
It's one of those things that I consider necessary but also shouldn't be overused. I think my parents got it right, getting a smacked arse was reserved for those times when you really fucked up as a kid. The number of times I got it is probably under a dozen.
I think you need to lead by example.
Like if your wife shits on you and you act like a cuck that's how your son will become.
If you keep repeating "I pay the bills which means I'm the boss" that screams cuckness because that's not what being the boss is about. Leading is about being a leader, not a piggy bank.
When I was an edgy 15 year old, I hit my sister for some reason. she went crying to my father and he went berserk on me and threw the first thing he saw next to him
addition, do not worship your children, but respect them. when they will be adults they will be at least as wise as average person if you rise him/her well. they deserve to know the truths of the world, no matter how harsh they might be. you give them tools to use at their will, even if they leave them completely untouched. you must be fine with that and not force things upon them, because they are likely to resist or fall under confusion for longest of times.
I tried to look this one time and instead came across a bunch of girls with spanking fetishes because their dads used to spank them and they said it felt good, don't spank your daughters, slap them in the face instead or something
That's way too old to spank your kid.
Spanking kids is only useful when they are younger than like 5. When they are older there are more effective forms of punishment you can use like normal consequences (go to your room, etc...)
I think it fucks a kid up in the head. Amy decent parent can get their message across without it.
I don't even have to read the thread to know that /pol/lacks will shill for disciplinary spanking. Note that spanking a kid causes them to do things like go on /pol/
You know what's really wild?
When the kid tries to spank the parent while being spanked. It's a battle of the ass whoopin'.
not this. kids dont hear what you are saying as much as how you say it. if ur just lecturing them after doing something dangerously retarded ur just giving them a yellow light to do it again.
I have spanked my son. I've spanked him maybe twice or three times.
I have siblings and cousins who refuse to spank their kids and their kids are horrible little shits as a result.
Meanwhile, they ask me why mine is so well behaved, and I tell them what spanking is and how to do it (it's not about pain) but they never take my advice and their kids are fucking awful.
All social animals have rituals which enforce the chain of command... for lack of better words, establishing dominance. When a child tests his position in your family unit they expect to be put in their place; not doing so is harmful to the child. It teaches them that there IS no family unit, that the child is on their own. Paradoxically, it makes them trust the parents LESS.
I'm convinced that all Turk posters are just one proxyfag that gets off to baiting us to hell.
Doesn't stop me from boiling in rage, fuck you roach
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The Guy is:
Psychology is overwhelmingly against it, but /pol/ doesn't believe in any psychology except for pop-evopsych.
I don't have kids, but I do have a dog I raised and trained, and was taught to train. He's perfectly obedient, doesn't beg, and won't even touch his food until I say "okay." I could plop a huge-ass steak in his bowl and he wouldn't budge.
Positive reinforcement, repetition in the case of error to show desired behavior, and as a last resort mild negative reinforcement (in my case verbal scolding and gently placing my finger in his nose to show disapproval) was all that was required. If you train a dog using pain, you're going to get a violent animal with behavioral problems.
There are lots of situations where you can't simply explain to a kid what they did wrong and have them understand what they did or the consequences. Sometimes you just have to spank.
The problem is that you can't have a discussion on spanking anymore because anti-spanking fags think that spanking your child means full-on wailing on them until they're bloody instead of a simple backhand or a couple slaps with a ruler.
Do people seriously believe that 4 year olds smashing all your shit and running around are going to become good kids if you sit them down and give them a time out? Do people seriously believe a child should never be physically disciplined no matter what they do? They're just going to see you as all talk and no bite.
It should be used to correct dangerous behaviour as a last resort the child knows is coming a mile away. They should earn the ass whuppin.
All this waaah waaah child abuse psychological damage shit is fucking retarded. Since when were kids made of paper? Pretty sure it was the norm for a good hundred thousand fucking years or so, did we not make it out of that time period alive or some shit
Severe trauma can cause problems but simple, quick corporal punishment to a kid who's being a faggot is pretty harmless.
I don't think the ritual of "spanking' is healthy though, you're just going to make your kid a pervert.
it's best to just quickly smack them across the face when they don't expect it when they're being assholes. That usually gets the point across with minimal force.
Not spanking your kid is more traumatising.
My dad beat me when I did stupid shit. Once I answered the door to this woman who wanted to talk to my dad, and my dad gave me a fairly hard smack on the back of the head for not letting her in.
I look back on that and thank him, because I wouldn't have learned proper manners if he didn't let me know what I did was wrong.
Military school lol
There were 3 shitty drugged out kids I'd known through middle and highschool who were sent to a military school. They were straightened the fuck out and now lead successful lives.
>Is it Traumatizing?
Not for me, no. I learned valuable lessons from getting beat. It's also the very reason I turned out conservative.
>Is it bad for the child?
Depends on your kid. It wasn't bad for me because that was literally the only way I could understand what I was doing was wrong. I was a really bad kid growing up.
>Does it work?
For me, it worked. For my brother, it worked. So yes?
>Is it abuse?
Well, what I went through is considered abuse, because my father would punch me, however I was able to hit back. It was really just a means of communication. It's not like I was starved or bonded by my limbs and unable to defend myself. Our fists and hits were words and at the end of the fight I would understand that my father was in the right and I was in the wrong. If I won the fight then he would reconsider the position and then use actual words to establish a new law in the household.
I got spanked as a kid it never traumatized me. Mostly because when it came to spanking it was a very clear logical punishment for an action I performed and wasn't out of rage.
The fucked my psychological mind games my parents sometimes played still mess with me to this day however, probably because it's not physical people don't think of the damage they can do by yelling at your kids. My moms parents did it even more to her and she needed therapy over it and the effects are still noticeable.
I was also with a coworker who had extremely abusive parents as a kid, it wasn't the spanking that messed the up it's the words.
Parenting is hard though and people are going to make mistakes, generally though parents aren't making the mistake of beating their kids. Normally it's either neglect or psychological mind games or both.
Make child feel pain when he does bad, he will remember to do good.
Yeah the mind games were the worst. My mother was a vindictive and condescending bitch. Literally can't put into words how seemed to enjoy it when I fucked up. Made me wish husbands could still slap their wives sometimes. I got slapped as a kid (back of the legs or head) and I don't have any real fear of my father for it.
I don't think it should solely be punishment when they did something bad. Once I went to secondary school I got very little reward for good behaviour and hard work, whereas I used to get rewarded in primary school and I was always top of the class. Just a few nice words and the matter was forgotten. But I'd get my phone, console and sometimes dinner taken away if I got detention for a few missed homeworks or joking in class. I stopped trying to be good at school by my 3rd year. Don't forget to reward your kids
It leads to girls having a spanking fetish.
Ofcourse there should be rewards, but fear out of reliving the pain of punishment should definately be there to give them a reason to think twice.
I got hit across the face for not eating certain foods or doing bad in school.
Hitting stopped when I learned to duck and my father broke his finger on the door frame. That was a memorable day.
Its pretty unnecessary above a certain age. When they are 3 and 4, by all means giving them a couple pops to show who's the boss. Beyond that, its truly a lazy form of punishment that doesn't go far. Now if you have one truly out of control teenager who is begging for some order, then yeah, give them an ultimatum. Follow the program, meet my belt, or leave my house. If you have a messed up teenager in the first place, part of it is probably your shortcoming in the first place.
I got slapped but I don't think you should ever hit your kids. Especially in the face. My mom did that once and it ended with me sleeping in my grannies and my dad moving out for 3 days. Triggered a lot of pent up shit
GOD SAYS IN THE BIBLE THAT IF YOU DONT SPANK YOUR KIDS YOU DONT LOVE THEM
THIS IS BECAUSE WHEN YOU SPANK YOUR KIDS WHEN THEY FUCK UP YOURE PREPARING THEM FOR ACTUAL PUNISHMENTS / CONSEQUENCES LATER IN LIFE THEY MAY RECEIVE
IF YOU DONT SPANK THEM ITS TRUE YOU DONT TRULY LOVE THEM BECAUSE YOU NEVER PREPARED THEM FOR THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTHS IN LIFE
WHEN KIDS FUCK UP BIG TIME , SPANK THEIR ASS AND TELL THEM WHY. DONT FORGET TO TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM AND HOW THAT RELATES TO THE PUNISHMENT
TRUE JUSTICE HURTS, GET OVER IT
>show your child what consequences are
so if I skip school, the principle will spank me?
if I miss a day of work, my employer will spank me?
If I masturbate, the local priest will spank me?
hitting your child is stupid as shit and should never be used even as a last resort. It's YOUR child, and a HUMAN BEING. Try fucking instilling morals and reason instead of treating them like animals.
In today's age, physical punishment is often exactly what is needed. People are brought up believing they are the greatest thing to have ever graced the Earth. A bruised buttocks can bring such people back down to Earth quite nicely.
the threat of spanking alone made me terrified of my mother until late 8th grade when she got a call from my principle that I got a fight with another kid. I was already slightly bawling my eyes out when she arrived at the office because I thought she was going to belt my ass for sure when I got home, but when I did get home she just told me I was too old for that and she wasn't going to lay a hand on me again.
Too late though, I still turned out a manchild that's too scared to go anywhere or do anything without his mommy being there to hold my hand and coach me how to be an adult.