WE HAVE THE POWER TO PUT YEB AND CRISPY ON THE NEXT KIDDY TABLE.
A new poll released by The Economist/YouGov has Rand Paul at 6%, higher than Yeb, Christie and others. If we SPAM EMAIL REALCLEARPOLITICS this news, Rand will defeat Yeb and Crispy in average poll numbers, kicking them of the Adult Table and keeping Rand on.
Email the following message to RealClearPolitics using the links below:
Hello Sir/Ma'am at RealClearPolitics - I come to firmly request you include the new national primary poll by The Economist/YouGov in your GOP Primary Averages in order to more accurately represent the state of the GOP field and show the people what voters truly want.
This poll will help make your averages far more accurate and ensure all is fair in the Republican field.
Thank you, a concerned voter.
CONTACT FOR REALCLEARPOLITICS (SELECT "OTHER")
AUTOMATIC EMAIL MAKER
>jeb is missing
>empty podium the whole time
>little reference is made to Jeb being gone
>main event debate starts
>all candidates are at their podiums
>during the Star Spangled Banner, Jeb runs in with a podium he made at home of empty Guacabowle boxes, glitter, and red, white, and blue duct tape
>Jeb is visibly disheveled, eyes red, stubble growing in, shirt spotted with food or vomit, tie bunched into scrambled knot around his neck, under his unbuttoned collar, hair short and wild and grey around the temples like he cut it with office scissors without a mirror
>he places his own podium between Trump and Cruz, nearly shoulder to shoulder with the two frontrunners
>everyone is confused and embarrassed for him
>Jeb, on the verge of tears, leans over into Ted Cruz's mic and says "s-sorry I'm late, everyone... Sorry."
>Trump tries to comfort the clearly disturbed Jeb Bush, "Jeb, pal, please you're better than this. Come on."
>Jeb pushes away from him and pulls a small revolver out of his pocket and screams in a falsetto "NO YOU'RE A FAILURE DADDY"
>fires six shots, hitting nothing but studio backdrop and one round ricocheting off Ben Carson's giant championship rodeo belt buckle
>Trump doesn't even flinch, produces his silver plated, ivory handled Walther PPK from his extend-o sleeve quick-draw
>fires a single hollow point into Jeb's heart
>Jeb drops to the ground and loudly empties his bowels, shrieking and crying, begging to live
>security rushes over to find the round was stopped by one of the several Guacabowles in Jeb's suit pocket
>as he's lead away, Trump twirls his pistol on his finger, winks at the camera, and it quickly disappears down his sleeve
>Rand finishes Yeb off by shitting in a Guacabowle and smashing it in his face
>crowd, moderator, and rest of candidates give Trump and Rand standing ovation
>Rand/Trump elected with 101% of the vote (no one is sure how)
>Jeb spends most of his life in a padded cell, mumbling things in spanish
>Rand finishes Yeb off by shitting in a Guacabowle
>The stage is set for the 6th Republican Undercard Debate.
>The candidates are Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, Carly Fiorina, John Kasich, and Rick Santorum.
>Someone is missing from the stage
>It is Jeb Bush
>Candidates now have time for Opening Statements
>First up, Senator Santorum
>Other candidates go through opening statements
>Finally, Governor Bush
>Bush still isn't back
>A loud, bellowing noise comes from behind the stage
>Jeb runs out naked except for his underwear and the Guacabowle on his head
>IF I CAN'T WIN THE NOMINATION, THIS WAY I'LL MAKE MY FAMILY PROUD
>Jeb pulls out a gun and begins firing
>Santorum uses his Dragonball Z powers to deflect Jeb's bullet
>Chris Christy's stomach launches Jeb's bullet back at him
>Jeb falls to the ground
>Out of nowhere, two white godly figures appear
>Wolf Blitzer in full panic mode
>Rand Paul and Donald Trump, the two figures, begin to attack Jeb
>Rand throws a fresh bowl of Guacamole at Jeb
>Trump strangles Jeb with his luxurious mane
>The two gang up and start beating Jeb until he is nearly passed out
>Columba Bush shits in a Guacabowle and chucks it at Jeb's face from the crowd
>Jeb lets out a scream of agony
>Out of the corner of his eye, he sees his father, brother, and family all laughing from the crowd >Jeb dies ashamed and naked
It's going to happen
I can feel it
Jeb will snap, and go totally institutionalized and medicated crazy
I would recommend changing it to
>Please include the new national primary poll by The Economist/YouGov in your GOP Primary Averages in order to more accurately represent the state of the GOP field. Not doing so would represent a significant negligence: the choice to exclude the poll may unfairly alter the course of the Presidential race, as the RCP Average polling data for the 2016 Republican Presidential race is used by major media outlets to determine which candidates are invited to their debates.
>Thank you for your consideration,
>--a concerned voter
because the OP sounds korny af
GUYS JUST PICTURE JEB AT THE KIDDY TABLE WITH FUCKING FIORINA SANTORUM AND CRISPY AND SHIT
AN ENTIRE DYNASTY DESTROYED BY MEMES
anticipating the ultimate gets of tonight
>muh 60 million :^(
don't have many jebs, senpai. sticking to rare trumps.
OP here, going to bed. KEEP THIS THREAD ALIVE! Someone copy and paste the OP into a new thread when it dies. Good night my fellow Trumpers and Randlets, together we shall BTFO YEB.
FOX NEWS DOES THEIR OWN AGGREGATING, THEY DONT GO BY REALCLEARPOLITICS
if the poll is valid, Fox will see it. However, Fox is allowing anyone in the top 6 EITHER in Iowa, New Hampshire, or Nationally on the stage. Jeb is comfortable in the top 6 in New Hampshire, so our dreams are dashed on this one.
VOTE FOR CHRISTIE OR PEOPLE WILL DIE