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You wake up and find yourself in the body of Kim Jong Un. A spooky

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Thread replies: 79
Thread images: 13

You wake up and find yourself in the body of Kim Jong Un. A spooky hooded man tells you have 7 days until you switch back.

In the meantime your original body is in coma. You can speak and understand Korean fluently while you are Kim.

What do you do?
>>
>>59969905
I fuck every good looking girl in NK
>>
In these authoritarian dictatorships how far can you go? I mean could he demand a hundred teenage virgins lined up in front of him naked? Even though he's a dictator there are still rules and etiquettes that have to be followed to keep power.
>>
Kill all of my generals. Open up the forced labor camps. Declare war on South Korea.
>>
fuck bitches, make money
>>
become an hero
>>
>>59969970
>>
Go on a crash diet. All that fat can't be good for dear leader.
>>
>>59969905
Publicaly support Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders.
>>
>>59969905
I would nuke Belgium.
>>
>>59970233
kek
>>
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Stay up for 7 days doing North Korean meth and fucking North Korean wagecucks.
>>
nuke Israel on day 1.
>>
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I'd call my fat loser brother up and appoint him Eternal Marshall of NEETdom for the kingdom, and ask him which Anime is best for the peoples republic
>>
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Wait, what happens when I switch back to my own body, and the real Kim returns? Does he change everything I changed, or does he stick with my plan?
>>
Transfer as much of Kim's fortune as I could to an offshore account held by my sleeping body.
>>
>>59969905
Liberate North Korea, stop censorship, make it pro-Western, start unification with South Korea. Then, on the last day, as I'm about to go back to my old body, jump off a really high building so that I return to my body while Kim dies.

>>59969970
Go back to /b/ necrophiliac.

>>59970045
Actually Mao did that.
>>
>>59969905
Troll South Korea with some threats.
>>
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>>59970150
If you die while you're Kim, your real body stays in coma forever.

>>59970391
The real Kim returns with no memory of what you did.
>>
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>>59969970
Just this one will be enough for me :3
>>
Invade every surrounding country.
>>
I'd keep North Korea the way it is since it's fine so I guess I'd call Putin up and ask if he wants to go shoot bears and drink vodka for a weekend.
>>
>>59970233
This man won the thread desu.
>>
I'll bribe or kidnap a bunch of kpop stars and fuck them in a harem
>>
>>59969905
Fly to america to collect my body because I live in bumfuck nowhere by myself and wolves would eat me by nightfall.
Then I would step down as leader and declare my comatose self the new eternal leader and reincarnate of Kim il Sung.
I would then over the next 7 days have Kimchi placed under trial and scheduled for execution the minute my body wakes up.
>>
the only logical conclusion would be to make my actual self supreme leader
>>
>>59969905
Broker peace with South Korea, do my best to modernize North Korea and un-brainwash everyone. On the seventh day, kill myself (Kim Jong-Un) so he can't undo anything when I switch back.
>>
>>59970045
>Fucking using his tiny chink dick

Why even bother?
>>
1) Openly support Microsoft
2) Declare war on ISIS with China and Vietnam
3) Send threats to the owners of Samsung, Ford and Reddit
>>
>>59969905
Nuke Turkey, Israel, Haiti, and the Middle East.
>>
>>59970816
Making an awful lot of assumptions about a man's johnson. Seems mighty homosexual to me.
>>
>>59970377
Don't forget to put him in charge of building Best Korea Land too. Dude loves amusement parks.
>>
>>59969905
I would order every fertile woman in Best Korea from the ages of puberty to 20 to line up for a week long sex spree.
>>
Declare war to islam
>>
Spend 6 days gallivanting around engaging in all sorts of degeneracy. On the 7th day, just before I switch back, launch NK's entire nuclear arsenal at beijing.
>>
>>59969905
Same as always, have an angry strangle wank
>>
>spend the first 6 days fucking bitches and playing the best games on the best PCs
>on the 7th day declare war on china,japan,south koreea and the USA and nuke china and SK
>sit and watch as the world plunges into chaos
>the happening has come
>>
>>59969905
become sweden ;)
>>
>>59969905
Stand on top of a tank turret wearing my regular communist hat and communist coat.
Have the driver go straight at South Korea.
See who swerves first.
>>
>>59970525
No, but will he see changes in the policies? Or literally not realise that nothing's changed and continue zombie-ing into my policies?

Also, in the meantime, I'd be fucking Korean btches left right and centre, and eating like a fucking hippo
>>
nuke sweden
>>
Accept Syrian refugees.
Promise them all the money and women they want.
Put them in labor camps as soon as they arrive. Make a couple say they love the place and get a dozen or so ready for the occassional show for tourists.
>>
>>59969905
Nuke Beijing, obviously.
>>
>>59970314
Jelly fag
>>
>>59970537
I genuinely felt bad for her when I watched thay.
>>
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>>59969970
>I fuck every good looking girl in NK
/thread
>>
>>59969905
Declare my comatose self the eternal ruler of North Korea
Call Japan and demand anime
>>
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>>59971615
This
>>
>>59969905
>You wake up and find yourself in the body of Kim Jong Un.

LAUNCH
>>
>>59969905
Launch the nukes on china.
>>
I'll endorse Hillary Clinton saying she will help make Best Korea the strongest country in the world while banging a lot of women before that
>>
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False flag south korean attacks and use it as justice to attack south korea, call on world to recognize south korean brutality in a tearful tv appearance, use propaganda team to make sure images of dead and wounded north koreans are spread on the internet, warn USA this is a regional conflict and they should avoid getting involved and that there will be Russian and Chinese assistance for North Korea if they do.

In 7 days, United Korea under the Kim leadership, and write down my name on a piece of paper asking for citizenship and a high position in his government when I wake from my coma.

pic unrelated
>>
>>59969905
I'd try my best to not get myself killed.
Kim isn't simply an autocratic depot in the traditional sense. He needs to walk the line in order to appease the worker's party and the military.

I'd be terrified as fuck. I'd probably spend 2 days faking sick, and trying to get my bearings, and then play it by ear from there.
>>
Do some shit like fucking for 6 days, and on 7th Day nuke USA, Russia, Israel and South Korea. Get back to live my normal life
>>
>>59969905
declare war on America, just for the bants

>>59969970
also this
>>
>>59970430
reddit please go
>>
>>59969905
visit the lube factory
>>
>>59969905
Is that your sexual fantasy, OP?
>>
>>59969905
Petition for North Korea to become the 51st state of America.
>>
>Order my cronies to secretly bury a large amount of gold in America
>Live a life of absolute degeneracy
>get gold afterwards
>continue to do so
>>
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>>59969905
fuck my wife
>>
>>59969905
order a secret meeting for all generals, top aides etc...

Mobilize my super loyal body guards. Arrest all people in the meeting. Declaring that a large conspiracy to harm the people has been prevented.

Contact South Korea. Tell them that I want to become a protectorate of them for the time being for later reunification. Replace the purged generals with South Koreans. And tell the South koreans about the deal with the spooky hooded man once this has started - so they arrest you.
Prepare hours and hours of prerecorded speeches to keep the people happy.

Hope South Korea is smart enough to integrate North Korea in a soft way.
Hope China and the US don't go apeshit
Hope South Korea doesn't do a 180 and says fuck you - we don't need these poor mofos
>>
>>59969905
rape Korean women for a week
>>
>>59970107
We are already at war you dumb amerifat. We are in a cease fire treaty. Can't start shit unless both sides agree.
>>
i wear my clothes backwards and declare
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=010KyIQjkTk
to be the new NK national anthem

i do GLORIOUS LEADER things for the next couple days

i then surrender unconditionally to park geun-hye
>>
>>59970377
good post
>>
I nuke Mecca and come back to my body and watch the Happening (TM).
>>
I transfer half the wealth of the country to a random American, namely me, then declare best korea a democracy and surrender power, then leave the country to a remote island where when I return to my body i'm ritch bitch, and kim is cucked
>>
Declare war on Lichtenstein.
Because they beat me in soccer when I was going to school in Switzerland.
>>
>>59970537
Fucking this
>>
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>>59971957
Based and only acceptable awnser
>>
>>59970107

Get shot by one of your generals ?
>>
>>59969905

>Act like North korea is a Cities Skylines Simulator.
>Unleash my Autism over the people by constructing monuments and top tier housing for the people of my petty kingdom and by creating jobs.
>Start negotiating with countries for trade and the unification of South and North Korea.
>Fuck a bunch of korean bitches and then donate a few million to my ''real'' bank account and travel to South Korea before Kim Jong Un wakes up and finds out he dun goofed.

Yes i'm boring.
>>
so many stupid fucking noobs here.

>I would appointed myself as Supreme leader of NK... and fuck kim jong un blah blah blah

This thread was supposed to be used as CIA intelligence. You ass hats have ensured a NK planet takeover once those seven days are up.
>>
>>59971804
Jelly of what? Iceland is a thousand times better than le chocolate land.
>>
>set up massive hydroponics buildings to grow food
>buy thousands of farm animals for breeding and consumption
>set up coal power plants
>hand out tablets and laptops
>create factory to manufacture weapons for military use and sales to American market
>>
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>>59971957
what game plz
>>
>>59979599
Europa Universalis 4
>>
>>59969970
this+ nuke all the niggers i can
Thread posts: 79
Thread images: 13


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