Racist Jokes

>>38394655
Name something that only blacks don't know.

Dad

>>38394655
What do you call a white guy after you douse him with gasoline and toss a match?
A firecracker.

>>38394655
Not politics, Jude.

>>>/b/

>>38394655
What did the niglet get his dad on Father's day?

A DNA test

>>38394655
What did Tyrone get from Santa?

A subpoena

>>38394710
What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?

Canoes tip.

Why do Jewish men get circumcised?

Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't at least 10% off.

How do you get a Jewish girl's number?

Check the back of her wrist.

>>38394655
What did the Nazi say to the black jew.

I'm gonna need you to step to the back of the oven.

>>38394655
OC PLS DONUT STEEL

Whats the difference between a bat and a nigger?

>>38394655
How many Juden fit in a car?

2 in the front
2 in the back
40 in the ashtray

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>>38394791
>What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?

>Canoes tip.


So umm what are the similarities?

>>38394817
Bats hang upside down!

i probably shouldnt have come up with this joke during family dinner....

What's the difference between dog shit and niggers?

After a while dog shit stops stinking.

what do you call a jewish whore house

the gash chamber

What do you call 6 white guys on a bench?

The NBA

>>38394817
>Whats the difference between a bat and a nigger?

Duh niggers wood don't break when it be slappin up against some balls.


#Gayniggersforlife
#16inchesofblackpower

Why do spics drive low-riders?

So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time.

What do you call 3 white guys pushing a car up a hill?
White Power.

What do you call 3 black guys pushing a car up a hill?
Black Power.

What do you call 3 mexicans pushing a car up a hill?
Grand Theft Auto.

What's the difference between my nigga and my nigger?

About 200 years.

>>38394876
Both a Jew and a Canoe are very buoyant in water.

That, and they both rhyme.

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why don't niglets play in sand boxes

cats try to cover them up

>>38395047
Lol.
Look at that nigger-loving white bitch.

What's the only thing shorter than a jew's penis?

A nigger's to do list

Morpheus and Neo are plugged in to the Matrix and having a chat.

Morpheus turns to Neo, "In this world you can be anything you want."

There is a short silence.

Neo: "Then why are you a nigger?"

>>38394655
Why do black people only have nightmares?

The last one to have a dream got shot.

So I saw a spic hanging with a nigger today.

>>38394703
kek

>>38395116
>Read Morpheus
>Instantly knew the punch line
Step up anon.

A plane was flying when one of its engines failed. The pilot spoke over the intercom.

"This is your captain speaking. If you heard the loud noise, then yes, one of our engines failed, and we are losing altitude. No need to panic, but for this flight to continue, we must reduce payload by having passengers jump out of the plane, and we're going to do this alphabetically by race."

"A. African-Americans. Would all African-Americans please jump out of the plane?"

No one moved.

"B. Blacks. Would all black passengers please jump out of the plane?"

Still, no one got up.

"C. Colored People. Would all Colored passengers vacate the aircraft?"

Meanwhile, a black woman and her son at the back were listening to the instructions.

"Mommy?" asked the boy. "Aren't we African-Americans, and Black, and Colored?"

"Well we consider ourselves Negroes, child." says the mother. "And that will come right after the Mexicans."

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>>38394655

Republican Rover dropping in.

>>38395205
from a tree?

What do you call a nigger bitch with buck teeth?

A black and decker pecker wrecker.

So, a white guy, a black guy and a chinese guy were all on vacation down in mexico together. (Yes they are gay, that's not the joke). On the drive back to the US, their car breaks down. They have no cell phone service, and only one bottle of water. Its a two hour walk to a town, in the summer heat. Who dies first?


The stupid fucking mexican they were smuggling in the trunk.

So, Pokemon Black came out this weekend.

Gotta Catch Jamal.

What is the difference between a black man and a pizza?
- The pizza can feed a family of 4.

What do you call a black woman that aborts her black baby?
- A crime stopper

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?
- yeah, neither have they.

Why don't you ever see blacks on cruise ships?
- Because they aren't falling for that again.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
- Because he is black.

>>38394957
Hahaha

>>38394655
Enjoy:
http://postimg.org/image/7t9djmm4v/

Apologies for outside link, but format is too big for this image board, apparently.

What did the black teenager say when the clerk at the liquor store asked him for his ID?

He shot him

>>38394855
2 in the front
2 in the back
and none in the ashtray because the holocost didn't happen

Why do jews have big noses?
[spoiler]Air is free[/spoiler]

>>38395612
You win the thread

>>38395612

>What's long, brown and smells like shit?

The unemployment line

>where do you hide a nigger's foodstamps?

in his workboots

>Whats the fastest thing in Tel Aviv?

A shekel rolling down a hill

>whats the second fastest thing in Tel Aviv?

The Jews running after it

>How do you stop niggers hanging on your front lawn?

Hang 'em out the back.

>>38395345
Nice reddit meme :^)

What do you call two blacks on one bike?
Organized crime

what do you call a nigger on the moon
a problem

what do you call all the niggers on the moon
problem solved

>>38395895

ayyyyy

Why don't black women wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies away from the chicken!

>>38394655
Whats round and sits on shit?

A yarmulkah

What's the worst thing you can call a black man, starting with N and ending with R?
Neighbor

What's the difference between dog shit and niggers?
When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking.

Q. What is a Jewish woman's favorite wine?

A. "I wanna go to Miami!"

>>38394655
Why cant stevie wonder read?

Because hes black.

>>38394655
> What do you say to a nigger in a three piece suit?
Will the defendant please rise
> Why do you go to a niggers garage sale
to get your stuff back
> Whats the difference between niggers and tires
tires dont sing when you put chains on them
> What do you call a fat asian?
Chunk
> Why doesnt mexico have an olympics team
Anybody who can run jump or swim is already over here.
> How do you find the entire population of Israel
Roll a shekel down the street
> A nigger and a spic are in a car, who's driving?
The police officer
> How long does it take a black woman to take a shit
9 months
> What do you throw a drowning nigger
his wife and kids
> How do you starve a nigger
put his food stamps under his work boots
> Whats the most confusing day in Atlanta
Fathers day

Q. How many niggers does it take to pave a parking lot?
A. Twelve, if you slice them thin enough.

What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?

You know he did it.

What's long and hard on a nigger

School

A priest walks into a barber shop and gets a regular haircut. After the cut, he offers to pay the barber. But the barber refuses, saying "I never charge a man who does god's work." The priest leaves.

The next morning, the barber finds 3 bottles of wine on his doorstep.

The same day, a pastor walks in and gets a regular haircut. After the cut, he offers to pay the barber. But the barber refuses, saying "I never charge a man who does god's work." The pastor leaves.

The next morning, the barber finds 3 loaves of bread on his doorstep.

The same day, a rabbi walks in and gets a regular haircut. After the cut, he offers to pay the barber. But the barber refuses, saying "I never charge a man who does god's work." The rabbi leaves.

The next morning, the barber finds 3 rabbis on his doorstep.

>>38395748
>>Whats the fastest thing in Tel Aviv?
>A shekel rolling down a hill
>>whats the second fastest thing in Tel Aviv?
>The Jews running after it

It makes me sad that they won't catch it.

How many white people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they are to busy smoking meth out of it.

>>38394655
A Russian, a Brit, a Texan, and a Mexican are all about to go skydiving.

The Russian grabs his parachute and says "Long Live Mother Russia!" and jumps out of the plane.

The Brit grabs his parachute and says "God save the Queen!" and jumps out of the plane.

The Texan grabs his parachute and says "Remember the Alamo!" and shoves the Mexican out the plane.

Why does the KKK not have a church?
˙ǝɹiɟ uo ʇi ʇǝs ʎǝɥʇ ǝsnɐɔǝq

Why do police dogs lick their ass?
To get the taste of nigger out of their mouth

>>38394876
>implying Jews tip

>>38396260
N-No we aren't-t!

>>38396246
Thats what makes it "anti Semitic"

>>38396365
lol

What do you do with a Jew with ADHD?

Put him in a concentration camp.

How was the Grand Canyon formed?

A Jew dropped a penny down a hole.


How was copper wire invented?

Someone threw a penny between two Jews.

What do you call a flying Jew?

smoke

>>38396260
You spelt nigger wrong, you plebby downs autist.

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>>38395929
Photographic proof that's not a joke but the truth

what's long and black
the unemployment line

>>38396245
back in college I worked in a shoe store

old jew guy walks in and is being semi-pushy about getting a discount. Look at his history and yes, he was a longtime customer of the store. So I tell him I can give him a one time discount. He's ecstatic.

The next day old jew brings a friend and is demanding the same discount for his friend. Old jew gets furious when I explain again the one time deal. Makes a scene and leaves with his jew friends. My nazi ancestors are ashamed of me

What do you use to blindfold an chink?

Dental Floss

A Brit, a Mexican, and an American are flying in a small private jet when the Brit suddenly opens the emergency exit and throws a sack of tea out of the plane. The Mexican asks him why he would do this, and the Brit explains that in Britain, there is so much tea that they can do whatever they want with it and there's still tons more.

The Mexican thinks about it for a second, pulls out a bag of hot peppers he has on him, and throws them out of the plane. He explains that in Mexico there are so many peppers that they can just be thrown out and there will still be a million more for each one lost.

The American thinks for a second, picks up the Mexican, and then throws him from the plane. The Brit turns to him shocked and asks "why did you just throw that man from the plane"

The American replies: "ǝɟiʍ ʎɯ pǝlliʞ ǝH"

I love telling this joke so much, watching people who don't consider themselves racist write the punchline in their head is hilarious.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew?

Santa Claus goes down the chimney.

What's the difference between karate and judo?

Karate is a method of self defense and judo is what bagels are made of!

>>38396246
Jew detected.

What language does a Jewish homo speak?

Heblew.

Two Jewish businessmen were discussing insurance. "You need fire insurance, burglary insurance and flood insurance."

"The fire and theft and burglary I can understand," said the other, "but the flood insurance? How do you start a flood?"

I can't believe the judge said I was a particularly ruthless kidnapper and a disgrace to the Jewish community.

All because I added shipping and handling charges to the ransom note.

What do you call a little Mexican?

A paragraph. Because he's not quite an essay.


What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball against each other?

Juan on Juan.

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>>38394655
What do you call 5 nigs having sex
A three some

How does a nigress tell if she's pregnant?


When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

Why don't niggers and beaners have kids together?

They would be too lazy to steal.

Racism is when you run over a nigger with your truck.

Reverse-racism is when you back up.

How are black people and tornadoes similar?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.

What did Whitney Houston and Apollo 13 have in common?

A major crack problem.


Why do a lot of niggers go to visit the Liberty Bell?

They heard there was some crack in it.

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and your TVs floating in the air?

Drop it nigger!

>>38395116
>>>/b/

What are three things a nigger cant get?
- a black eye, a fat lip, and a job

What do you call two niggers in a sleeping bag
- Twix

What do call 4 niggers driving off a cliff
- a good start

Whats dumber than the polack trying to build his house underwater
-the nigger trying to burn it down

Two polacks are sitting in the back yard. One says that its getting cold so the other gets up to close the gate.

Why are black people so good at basketball
- It involves their favorite 3 things; Running, Shooting, and Stealing

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>What's worse than a bee sting
Two bee stings
>What's worse than two bee stings
The Holocaust
>What's worse the Holocaust
Three bee stings

What does a black man and a bicycle have in common?

They only work with a chain on.

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>>38394791
>How do you get a Jewish girl's number?

>Check the back of her wrist.

>mfw

>>38395316
>"Well we consider ourselves Negroes, child." says the mother. "And that will come right after the Mexicans."

Psssh, I'd just say I am White Hispanic
2easy

>>38395345

That peanut butter reflection though...

>>38397200
lol

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>>38397492

Noice .png

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts?
The boy scouts come back from the camps.

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>>38396785
>mfw it took me a second to figure this out

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>>38397664
I learned that one from a jew in my troop when I was in scouts

>mfw

>>38397710
I find Jews always have the best Jew jokes.

>>38397747
He was a very funny little kike. He was like 5'3 and stocky, but very, very funny.

>>38397557
Kawaii as fuck, Herr Oberst.

>>38397900
Forgot time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=_InVCkv8gr4#t=679

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>>38394655
not a joke, but a bretty good gif

>you will never have a black bro who will just tell shit like it is, plus some humor

Did you hear about the new medicine for depressed lesbians. It's called trycoxagain

What does a faggot call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps.

A blind man stumbles into a lesbian bar and orders a drink. He tells the bartender if she ever heard a blonde joke. The bar was silent and she said, "I know your blind so ill cut you some slack but one blonde lady is a marine, another is a master of Taekwondo, another just got out of prison, another is a bouncer and the last one is a psychopath. Do you want to realm tell that joke?". The man says, "nah I dont to repeat it 5 times".

A truckdriver drove down the road and stopped for a priest hitchhiking. The driver let him in his vehicle and while driving talked about his faith and doing gods work. Distracted he doesn't realize a nigger running across the street an swerves but hears a thump and turns white. He says "priest forgive me I almost hit that black man,". The priest says, "don't worry my son I got him with the door.

Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?

They heard there were no jobs there.

Where do Pakis keep their CD's?
- in Iraq

Who was the best Paki carpenter?
- Ahmed Ashed

What's long, yellow, and black and makes you laugh?

A bus full of niggers driving off a cliff.

What do you call one white guy surrounded by a court of black people?

The NBA.

What's faster then a black man with a tv. His brother with the VCR.

How do you know that she's pregnant with an Asian. If you put a rubix cube in and it comes out solved.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a book. A book has papers.

Obama was at a barbershop as he was getting his hair done when oddly enough bush came in to get his hair done. Scared to start a political backlash the stylists reframed from any question political. The stylist asked if Obama would like some perfume but declined as Michelle would smell it and think he was in a whorehouse. They asked bush and he said, "sure my wife doesn't know what a whorehouse smells like,.

>>38396446
>getting this mad at a joke

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What's white and 8 inches long?

Nothing!

What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?

Snow.

How do white guys satisfy their wives?

They hire a pool boy.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3r6WRAK_q8s

Whats a niggers nigger nigger?

Nigger nigger.

African American.

>>38398506
Fuck off. Fucking racist.

What did God say when he made the first black man? "Damn, I burnt one"

Why do pregnant Jews always go for Cesarean section? Because they're tight cunts.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, only Mexicans do that kind of job.

>>38398506
Why are anti-white jokes so forced and unfunny?

>>38398506
>What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?
>Snow.

KEK

What do you call 500,000 black guys jumping out of a plane?

A shit storm

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>>38394655

What do sharks and people have in common?

>All the great ones are white

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How do you stop 5 black men from raping a white woman?
Throw them a basketball.

How does a black woman fight crime? She has an abortion.

What do a nigger and an apple have in common? They both look good hanging from a tree.

Why did so many niggers die in Vietnam? Every time someone yelled "GET DOWN" the niggers would jump up and starting dancing.

>>38396468
>nigger women
No wonder the want our women. Nigger bitches are wretched.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head?
Stop laughing and reload.

What do you say when you see a black kid riding a new bicycle?
>Stop thief.

How do you stop a nigger from going out? Pour more gas on him.

Why do niggers call white people honkies? That's the last sound they hear before a white man runs them over.

Did you hear about the new Black Barbie? It comes with 12 kids, AIDS, and a welfare check.

What do you get when you cross a nigger with a gorilla? A dumb gorilla.

What is the difference between Batman and a nigger? Batman can go out at night without Robin.

Why do blacks smell. So blind folks can hate them too.

Why do Jews don't eat pork?
Jews despise cannibalism

Why are niggers so loud. So not only can you smell them you can hear them.

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>>38399149
>What do you get when you cross a nigger with a gorilla? A dumb gorilla.

>>38398506
That's actually pretty funny.

What is white and 11 inches?
Absolutely nothing

How do you castrate a white guy?
Uppercut his mother

Do perfectly flat surfaces exist in real life?
Yes: white girls' asses

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>>38394957
Holy fuck that had me almost rolling on the floor and I haven't laughed like that in ages.

What's the difference between a cracker and bad milk?

Nothing, they're both sour and spoiled.

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>>38394876

>>38399411
>>38399594
So far the only good white joke has been the firecracker one. The rest are just terrible. The purpose of a joke is to be funny.

What do you call an exceptionally bright Jew?

A lampshade.

Anybody got any good pedophile jokes?

What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
>I feel like a kid again

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
>Fitting in

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>>38395543
0/10

Just awful.

>>38399673
Nah, you're just mad as fuck.
They're better than average nigger joke in the thread.

>>38396468
That photo has to be fucking fake.. It just can't be real, r-right?

How do you starve a nigger? Put his food stamps in his work boots.

Why are niggers hate soap. The sting of rubbing it on their whip marks.

Why are niggers so fast? The slow ones are in jail.

>>38399816
No, they really aren't. I thought the firecracker joke, about white people, was fairly hilarious. the others have just been forced unfunny shit.
>Niggers in charge of creativity

>>38399707
I got some for you bro

My girlfriend called me a pedophile. Pretty big word for a 12 year old.

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub the blood on her teddy bear.

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>>38396209
Kek

>>38397702
>tfw still don't get it?

>>38399875
Keep being mad.

>>38399964
Niggerthink for you. Somebody disagrees with me! Das racism

>>38400017
Yeah, I see that.
I didn't expect it from a cracker, though.
>whites have small dicks? ay vey dis is anotha shoa it is so bad bawww i'm not mad u just suk

>>38400122
blacks have small brains. LOOK EVERYONE!!!!!!!! I MADE A FUNNY

>>38399964
>mad
Nobody here cares except your jokes are as funny as a train wreck.

>>38400122
The one with the largest dick is white. The strongest man is white and the smartest is white. Niggers can only run and that's it. You can't even make a half decent joke nigger.

>>38400169
Yes, yes you pencil dick, this is what jokes become when you rephrase them.
This entire thread could be rephrased as
>lol blacks steal are lazy and dumb so funny
but then it would not be about jokes, you autistic fuck.

>>38400272
NO, that is your fucking jokes. no setup, clever punchline, just Its funny because its a forced stereotype!

>>38394692

underrated post

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>>38400264
>The one with the largest dick is white.
Goy no, jews are only white when they do bad things.
When they do good things (or have good traits), they are only jewish.

>>38400272
>this mad
Nigger most of these jokes are funny something your jokes aren't. Niggers mad they are the butt of humor for everyone else.

>>38400272
Whats white and 11 inches?
A crackas resume.

I don't know why I fucking come to this place! All you guys ever do is talk shit about blacks and jews and I really do find it offensive. There is a black guy in my family tree, and if I cut him down he'd probably scold me for coming here

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.

>>38400460
dude, you gotta cut em down, or after a while, you're just hanging niggers from other niggers, and shit gets confusing

Wwhat do u do when a pollack tjrows u a grenade? Pull the pin and throw it back.

Why do french tanks have rear view mirrors?

To watch the battle as they are driving away.

Wat is a pregnant, black, 13yr old sitting on a trashcan doing? Giving natural birth.

>Racist jokes

OP.

Wat do u call an ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese

How do you shut up an Italian. Tie his hands.

How did Palestinians keep Jews out. Toll booths.

What do you call a group of baboons. A congress

What do you call a pregnant black woman at an abortion clinic?

Crime Prevention.

Did u hear about the native american chad who shot up the school? He went off the reservation

>>38394739
How many Father's Days passed beforehe found the right guy?

>>38401262
Knowing niggers probably 11 or 12

>>38396293
how did you do that?

>>38396569
What's the difference between Santa Claus and a nigger?

Santa Claus brings the stuff.

>>38398506
AHAHAHAHA