Offensive joke thread
What's the similarity between a nigger and a bicycle.
Both require a chain to work
What do white women make for dinner?
Aaron's dying, the whole family gathered around him to hear out his last words.
"Sarah, my beloved wife, are you here?"
"David, my beloved son, are you here?"
"Moishe, my beloved brother, are you here?"
"WHEN WHO THE FUCK STAYED TO RUN THE SHOP"
Where does a Jew hide money from his wife?
Under the vacuum cleaner.
You better stay away from my shekels goyim.
Adolph Hitler "Spaghetti and Meatballs is necessary for the strength of the master race! Zeig Hail!"
The Jews "Oy Oy, Good Goyim, don't eat sphagetti and meatballs, just give them to me hhehehehehehe spagetti and meatballs"
Adria Richards "Sphagetti and Meatballs, that's offensive! I'm telling"
Anita Sarkeesian "Spaghetti and Meatballs is a patriarchal trope in which the phallic noodles are mixed with the testicular meat product to strengthen the male power structure over women"
Barack Obama "uhh.. ummm spaghetti and umm meatballs OY VEY!!!"
Mike Brown "muhfuggen bix nood dey dont serve no spaghetti and meatballs in hell, da devil is a punk ass cracka"
So, I was reading the news paper and saw this article that said the Detroit police department is getting rid of all of their German Shepards....
They traded them in for coon hounds, because they figured out the germans aren't the problem.
I can't believe the judge said I was a particularly ruthless kidnapper and a disgrace to the Jewish community.
All because I added shipping and handling charges to the ransom note.
Q: What do you call a bunch of white guys running down a hill?
A: An avalanche.
Q: What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill?
A: A mudslide
Q: What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill?
A: A jailbreak
3 apes and a nigger in a tree, what do you call the nigger?
what do you call a nigger in a 3-piece suit?
what do you call a black man with a harvard degree, a nobel peace prize, and a phd in physics?
One of the lamest joke i'v ever read
what do you call 6 million jews in an ashtray?
How does a chechnyan woman fight terrorism?
>she gets an abortion
what is worse than a holocaust?
They were in the frisk position when god painted them.
dat pic, top KeK
does zadie sell these down at the deli?
Mexico doesn't have an Olympic team... because anyone who can run, jump or swim is already across the border.'
How many Spanish does it take to change a light bulb?
sorry dont know any good jokes :(
Why do jews dislike the 69 position?
Too close to the gas chamber.
He would never fall for such an obvious jewish scam,
he doesn't need fake ash, how do you think he disposes of all the bodies?
Two white guys, let's call them Eric and John, meet at Eric's house to relax and talk about stuff. Sitting on the couch, John takes a look out the window and sees a nigger breaking into a parked car.
John to Eric: "H-Hey, man, look, isn't that yours?!"
Eric checks and shakes his head: "No, don't worry, mine is mowing the lawn."
How long does it take for a nigger woman to take out the trash?
A variation on a classic:
A man and wife are walking down the street and a nigger comes in his car and pulls his gat on the guy. He says, "I'm going to rape your wife, but the ground is quite dusty, so you must hold my testicles as I do it." So he rapes his wife and gets in his car to leave.
The husband starts laughing, so the wife asks, "What's so funny? I've just been raped!" But the husband stops laughing, because now the nigger's mugging him.
three faggots are fucking this baby in the ass
and the kid turns around and says "no, I said GOO GOO, because I'm a baby and I can't speak, not because I wanted your goo."
so one of the faggots jams his cock in the kids mouth
Why did the far left want don't ask don't tell revoked?
[spoiler] They wanted to see equality in child-raping mass-murdering pawns of big oil [/spoiler]
How many jews can you fit into a wolkswagen?
1 in the driver's seat, 1 in the passenger's seat, 2 in the back seat and 0 in the ashtray because the holocaust never happened.
Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead
Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree?
Because he was also dead
Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree?
Why did the -insert ethnic group you think is stupid- fall out of the tree?
Because he tied himself to a dying koala
A little girl is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying her eyes out. A priest approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?"
The little girl turns to him and says, "My mummy and daddy were in their car -- and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there."
The priest slowly looks around him while unbuttoning his cassock and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"
Guy walks into a bar. Bartender is black. Guy yells: "Hey nigger, give me a beer!"
Bartender says "Hey man, how would you like it if you were a bartender and a customer called you a honkey?"
Guy says "I dunno, it never happened to me."
Bartender says: "Ok, you get behind the bar then. I'll come in and pretend to be the customer. Then you'll know how it feels..."
Guy says "Ok" and gets behind the counter. Meanwhile the bartender walks outside.
A few seconds later the bartender walks inside again. He yells to the guy "Hey honkey, give me a beer!"
Guy says: "Sorry, we don't serve niggers in here."
A spaniard, a brit, a yank, a chink, a nip, a nigger, a gook, a paki, an indian, a frog, a kraut, a beaner and a polak go to a bar.
The bouncer says "Sorry lads, can't let you in without a thai".
A man comes home from work late one day and his car is absolutely wrecked. His wife asked how it happened. "I ran over a black man on the way home", he says. Stunned, the wife inquires as to how one man could do so much damage to the car. The man replies "I had to go through three fields before I finally mowed him down"
Little girl: Daddy, what happens when a white baby dies?
>Dad: it grows wings and becomes an angle
Little girl: Daddy, what happens then when a black baby dies?
>Dad: it grows wings and becomes a fly
An arab and a jew go to the groceries. The arab steals a snicker bar, puts it in his pocket and says to the jew : "I challenge you to do any better!"
The jew accepts the challenge and tells the cashier : "Hey goyim, I'll show you a magic trick, ya? Give me a snicker bar please"
The cashier accepts and the jew eats the whole bar in front of her, looking at her deep in the eyes. She asks "So, what's the trick?"
The jew says : "Look in the arab's pocket!"
Why are niggers such good dancers??
They spend the first 9 months of their lives dodging coat hangers
Why are there so many trees in Compton?
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable??
Boy walks in on his dad masturbating. Never having seen anyone do this, he says,
"Daddy, what are you doing?"
His dad replies, "Don't worry son, you'll be doing it soon enough!"
"Really? Why's that, Daddy?"
"Well, my arm is getting tired..."
What is about 16 inches long, stiff as a board, and makes young women moan?
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
What's the worst part about eating bald pussy?
When the diaper is dirty
What were comrade Mayakovsky's last words before his tragic suicide?
"Comrades, don't shoot!"
Are we having oppositions?
Some jokes from a Norwegian radioshow:
What did the pedophile jew say to the kids?
Do you want to buy candy.
What is the difference between a chef and a faggot?
The chef stirs in todays food and the faggot in yesterdays food.
Why did they fire the gay emplyee of the sperm bank?
Because he was drinking on the job.
The financial crisis is now so great that jewish women marry out of love.
>What is about 16 inches long, stiff as a board, and makes young women moan?
>Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
They also told that one.
>What's the similarity between a nigger and a bicycle.
>Both require a chain to work
What if I told you that people actually work harder when they're being paid than when they're being forced?
Q: How did the blacks die during the vietnam war?
A: Every time the commander yelled "get down" they blacks would start dancing.
It's implied that he dug as deep as he could to find the lost penny.
C'mon anon, you're better than that.
>What's the difference between the holocaust and a cow?
>A jew can't milk a cow for 70 years
That's a shitty joke because a cow does more than just get milked. That joke is implying that the Holocaust was a fat, grass-eating, lazy animal that's only good for work. As we all know, that makes no sense.
Saying "what's the difference between [insert something/someone] and a pile of shit" works because, like whatever undesirable person/people you're joking about, all the qualities of shit (nastyness, smell, worthlessness, etc) can be applied to whoever you're attacking.
>What's the difference between santa and a jew?
>Santa goes down the chimney
So... Jews fly around on Christmas and give away free shit to kids while eating cookies and drinking milk? I thought many people here (r.e. Russians and Cassidy & Associates shills) thought Jews were greedy?
When germany nationally-unified into a single nation state after WW1 due to the Treaty of Versailles making them all suffer together, the Jews were the only other 'nation' within that state and thus presented the possiblility of being a cleavage point. Hitler, trying to empower Germany by appealing to this new nation with propaganda and bullshit that suggested that Germans were all part of the same nation since the stone age, had to do something about the Jews since they were the only group that couldn't become part of the German nation since the Jewish nationalism wouldn't go away and thus they were unable to mix.
Germans, thus, were like a mixture of Gasoline, oil, and kerosene and Jews were like water. It would have been more suprising if Hitler DIDN'T kill off the Jews since the ideological and nationalistic sources of his power were in conflict with the seporate nation living inside his borders.
There's a reason why multinational countries are piles of shit AND why, when they try to do something about it, it always ends in mass murder (Turks and Albanains, Jews and Germans, Mandarin/east coast Chinese and inland Chinese in the Great Leap Foreward, etc).
You have no right to be stupid.